What is your favorite Frank Zappa quote?

[MuddyDitch]

"Tobacco is my favorite vegetable."
Haha, love that.

 

[kLyon]

"A mind is like a parachute: they both function best when open."

"Politics is the entertainment division of the military industrial complex."

 

[MuddyDitch]

"I was interested in chemistry. Especially explosives. I learned to make gunpowder when I was 6."

 

[trev333]

Don't eat the yellow snow....

 

[Jakedog]

"You're all wearing uniforms!".

 

[cabra velha]

Its hard to separate the quotes from the lyrics, and they probably should be.

 

[jmiles]

I had the pleasure of escorting Frank and John around Milwaukee for three days. The first night we went to a club I played at a lot, Humpin' Hanna's. We set up an introduction line. One very pneumatic, and most likely underage girl, introduced herself to me, before I introduced her to Frank. She asked me, "Is that really Mr. Zeppelin?" I introduced her to Frank. "Frank, this is Donna. Donna, this is Mr. Zeppelin." Frank took it well, but his bodyguard John and I just cracked up! John just turned around and put his fist in his mouth, shaking uncontrollably! For the next three days, when we spoke to Frank, we addressed him as Mr. Zeppelin!. We all laughed our butts off! One night, I took them to Mader's for dinner. A very traditional German restaurant. They had three old ladies playing German music up in a loft. Frank was nearly in tears during the whole meal! Never paid for a concert again. Gail would call me and tell me backstage passes were at the gate for me. I really liked the the guy, and miss him! RIP FRANK!

 

[mexicanyella]

I read an interview with Steve Vai where he said that when he was getting started with Zappa's band, Frank told him something like "Steve, your playing is great but your tone sounds like an electric ham sandwich."

 

[Jakedog]

I read an interview with Steve Vai where he said that when he was getting started with Zappa's band, Frank told him something like "Steve, your playing is great but your tone sounds like an electric ham sandwich."

He listened to Steve play, and then said "I hear Linda Ronstadt is looking for a guitarist". Frank was hilarious.

 

[Larry F]

"You're all wearing uniforms!".

Yeah, this was the one that I first thought of when I saw the thread title. With Jakedog's permission, I'd like to flesh this quote out a bit, as it has resonated word for word with me for quite a long time. I forget the LP it was on (I am leaning toward Uncle Meat), but one track was a live recording, during which some kind of hubbub was going on with the audience. At one point, Zappa steps up to the mic and says, "Everybody in here is wearing a uniform, and don't kid yourselves." The audacity of speaking in such a commanding way during a concert made me re-think who Zappa was. Even before this, he issued challenges to his audience, in one instance (liner notes for Freak Out?) telling the reader to "Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if you’ve got any guts."

 

[Guitarteach]

"Sometimes the milk can hurt you if you put it on your cereal before you smell the plastic container"

But this sums him up for me

 

[Boubou]

Don't eat the yellow snow....

'Cause that's where the huskies go

 

[surfoverb]

"Crying is for plain women-pretty women go shopping!"

 

[tweedman2001]

Sorry, I can't choose just one.
Damn I miss the Maestro.

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.

 

[Saigonbob]

When Zappa appeared on "Crossfire" in 1986, he argued against censorship and for the first amendment by repeating again and again.

"We're talking about words."

He drove the panel into a near-hysterical frenzy. It was beautiful.

 

[freshchops]

I couldn't pick a quote but I like all of his stances and outlooks on politics, media and society.

I just recently went on a YouTube bender (as one does) from one Frank Zappa interview to another... I must have seen them all, then some.
I'm actually not familiar with his music but I couldn't stop watching his interviews and listening to him.

 

[OlRedNeckHippy]

I work so hard,
Don't you understand,
Making maple syrup
For the pancakes of our land.
Do you have any idea
What that can do to a man?

 

[felis]

"Remember there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over"

 

[studio1087]

Check my signature.

 

[memorex]

"Elmore James only knew one lick, but you had the feeling that he meant it."