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Zakk Wylde: The Chuck Norris of Guitar?

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Chud, Aug 21, 2012.

  1. Chud

    Chud Poster Extraordinaire

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    According to this video he just may be.



    He plays so fast and clean that the sound just can't keep up.


    :D
     
  2. CyanideJunkie

    CyanideJunkie Tele-Holic

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    Not that big of a fan of him in BLS, but LOVED his playing in Pride & Glory.
     
  3. mr natural

    mr natural Friend of Leo's

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    Zakk Wylde plays so loud that the sound reaches your ears before he plays the notes.

    Zakk Wylde plays so fast that each note comes out earlier than the note he just played and the sound comes out backwards.

    Zakk Wylde uses so many speakers in his stage rig that the power company has to erect a temporary substation behind his rig to provide enough wattage.

    Dang, this is fun.
    -Mr. N.
     
  4. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Needs more cowbell!
     
  5. Norton72

    Norton72 Tele-Afflicted

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    The reason Zakk Wylde can play so fast is because his fingers have fingers.
    Zakk Wylde's playing is so clean they use it to sterilize surgical equipment.

    ...and to steal one form the Chuck Norris handbook:
    That's not a chin under Zakk Wylde's beard, it's another right hand.
     
  6. String Tree

    String Tree Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    Zakk Wylde is lucky Chuck Norris doesn't play guitar!
     
  7. StratBluesRock

    StratBluesRock Friend of Leo's

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    I don't think Zakk Wylde uses telephone cables for strings.........;)
     
  8. Chud

    Chud Poster Extraordinaire

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    No, he uses reclaimed bridge cable that he reclaims himself on Sunday afternoons. Doing his part to revitalize the infrastructure of the US. :D
     
  9. StratBluesRock

    StratBluesRock Friend of Leo's

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    Lol. Chuck Norris's strings make Dick Dale's strings look like single strands of hair!
     
  10. bigmuff113

    bigmuff113 Friend of Leo's

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    You stole my joke!
     
  11. StratBluesRock

    StratBluesRock Friend of Leo's

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    Cue Led Zeppelin joke :lol:
     
  12. MonkeyKing

    MonkeyKing Tele-Meister

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    Well, he`s no shawn lane, but he`s quick.
     
  13. gypsymoth

    gypsymoth Tele-Meister

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    saw him play with the late great Randy Castillo on drums a number of years back. Mike Inez on bass I think, and some Ozzy guy singing.
    the guy is good.
     
  14. telefunken

    telefunken Friend of Leo's

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    The notes that you hear coming from Zakk Wylde's guitar today are notes that he played 10 years ago, you'll never catch up!
     
  15. Chud

    Chud Poster Extraordinaire

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    Mars rover Curiosity can play the same licks, but he's seven minutes slower than Zakk. :D
     
  16. Tdub

    Tdub Friend of Leo's

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    He's great, but his band had the worst mix I've ever heard from a national act. And I've been to hundreds of concerts.
     
  17. homesick345

    homesick345 Poster Extraordinaire

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    No. That is Ted Nugent
     
  18. emu!

    emu! Poster Extraordinaire

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    I'm sorry, but...

    Chuck norris can make an AIR guitar sound better than ANY guitar player can with a real guitar. He can also tap with EVERY extremity extruding from his body ALL AT ONCE. Yes...ELEVEN FINGER TAPPING!!!!
     
  19. Breen

    Breen Friend of Leo's

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    ^^^ Yes, but Zakk is still faster.


    Zakk tried to play a chord, but it sounded like the pentatonic scale.

    The only reason diatonics exists is because Zakk Wylde started playing the pentatonic scale.

    Zakk only uses fibre-optic cables on his rig. His playing is too fast for regular ones.

    (comon guys. Lets not make this into a Zakk pissup. Its a Zakk Wylde Facts thread)
     
  20. Chud

    Chud Poster Extraordinaire

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    Zakk Wylde is so strong his beard bench presses 220lbs.

    Zakk Wylde's beard is so strong he uses the long strands for replacement strings.
     
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