You Guys Want To Hear Something Really Sad?

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by TC6969, Feb 12, 2021.

  1. TC6969

    TC6969 Friend of Leo's

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    I called a friend of mine who I've known for 50 years to ask him to help my Grandson find a house.

    I left a message without identifying myself, but I left a comment from our past that only he knew, and should have positively IDed me immediately!

    I gave him Grandsons info and asked him to call.

    15 minutes later the phone rings.

    The conversation went like this. "This is Old Friend! Who is this?"

    Its TC old friend.

    "WHO?"

    TC. Remember when your Dad had the machine shop and I worked next door at NAPA?

    "Oh TC! I heard you moved out in the country!"

    I did, its great!

    "So, are you still living at (Old address?)"

    No, I sold that house 4 years ago. You helped me.

    (Long pause) "Who is this again?"

    I finally got him steered back around to the subject and found that he is referring real estate stuff to his son who is taking over, but I got the feeling that he was getting ready to ask who I was again.

    This guy is 67 years old and used to be sharp as a tack.

    Pitiful.
     
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  2. drmordo

    drmordo Tele-Afflicted

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    Alzheimer's disease is terrible. My wife's aunt has it, the watching her deteriorate has been just horrible.

    Sorry about your friend.
     
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  3. teletimetx

    teletimetx Doctor of Teleocity

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    Sad, yes. Sorry for your friend and his family and for your losing easy companionship.

    Pitiful, nope. Maybe this is just you're first time running into this. Pity isn't likely to be useful. Maybe I'm splitting hairs here. Sorry if you see it that way.

    Apparently, playing music and similar activities helps stave off the advent of such problems. Keep up the music.
     
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  4. thunderbyrd

    thunderbyrd Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    it is sad and maddening. so very hard to deal with.
     
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  5. ale.istotle

    ale.istotle Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

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    It's hard to watch it happen. It's harder when they know it's happening.
     
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  6. bigbean

    bigbean Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

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    A heartbreaker.
     
  7. stormsedge

    stormsedge Poster Extraordinaire

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    Prayers. Makes me fearful.
     
  8. SAguitar

    SAguitar Tele-Meister

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    Yeah, it's a lot harder when they know it's happening. My mom hated that part of it, and many times wished she just didn't know that she was losing it. Knowing made her sad and angry about it. It's a rough way to go.
     
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  9. Rockinvet

    Rockinvet Tele-Afflicted

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    Dementia is terrible in any form. Just lost a friend to early onset Alzheimers last year. Once he was diagnosed he went fairly quickly over just a few years. The last year was the roughest for his wife. She cared for him until his dying day. She was an angel.
     
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  10. PhredE

    PhredE Tele-Afflicted

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    Out of all the diseases or conditions people experience in their advanced age, the brain wasting/deteriorating ones are the absolute worst. I have been the primary caregiver to a family member that had a long, slow bout with dementia (and chronic pain, and chemical abuse, and COPD, etc). Any of those on their own can be a fairly demanding situation, but throwing in the brain wasting on top is the absolute worst. It is too much for a single person to take on. The people that care for those experiencing that type of memory deteriorating need and deserve all the help they can get.
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2021
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  11. Blues Twanger

    Blues Twanger Tele-Afflicted

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    It's hard seeing someone go through it because my empathy makes me think about the possibility of it happening to me. Then I ponder how I would want to be cared for if it should happen and what my.kife would become.

    Then I go hugged my loved ones and carry on, it's all we can do until we can't any longer.
     
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  12. thunderbyrd

    thunderbyrd Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    there's some threads here i made here about my mother's dementia. we were able to get her into memory care and she needs to be there because she is pretty far along and my father cannot care for her.

    but she knows she isn't at home and she really wants to be. i'd love to take her home for a visit, but it just can't be done. it is heartbreaking.
     
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  13. Harry Styron

    Harry Styron Friend of Leo's Gold Supporter

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    Yesterday morning, my wife walked into the living room. I had risen a couple of hours early, while she was sleeping soundly. She said, "Good morning! How did you sleep?" I said, "Fine." She got a cup of coffee and went back into the bedroom.

    Ten minutes later, she walked into the living room and said, "Good morning! How did you sleep?"

    When this started happening a couple of years ago, after several years of hints that it was coming, it was profoundly unsettling. With the confinement because of the pandemic, with me being home with her almost all the time, Groundhog Day has truly arrived.

    I am staying focused on the good things. She is still unfailingly cheerful and affectionate. She is agreeable. She sings well. She is kind. She can still walk the dog. We've had 47 years of marriage and have never had any serious fights or betrayals.
     
  14. Fendereedo

    Fendereedo Poster Extraordinaire

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    My aunt Mary has alzheimer's disease, and I saw her late last year. She is my dad's sister, kept asking me who I was several times, and a few times thought I was my dad.
    My cousin looks after her as a full time carer, and she is aunt Mary's rock. She has around the clock care from my cousin, but you can tell she is physically, and mentally drained, but Mary is her mum, so...
    Terrible disease, my heart goes out to member's who have family, or friends that suffer from it.
     
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  15. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I opened this thread just to say no I don’t want to hear something sad.
    How did I end up here hearing something sad?

    I called an old friend maybe around Christmas to see how she was doing, we dated, I was best man at her wedding, friends since we were kids.

    Never heard back from her.
    There are worse things than memory loss, but that one is indeed scary.

    My Mother took dementia very hard, having been one of those known for knowing lots of stuff. Not recognizing friends was kind of killing her.
    When she began thinking friends and family were conspiring to rob, hurt and harm her, that pretty much did kill her.

    So, yeah, sad.
     
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  16. Tommyd55

    Tommyd55 Tele-Holic

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    Imagine you were a couple of months away from retirement, recently married, thinking you had a couple of decades of happiness ahead of you after working you butt off all your life.. Then they tell you you look like you have the initial stages of Alzheimer's.
    I know someone in this position. I can't really even contemplate it.
    Makes any thing I perceive as a problem seem pretty darn small right now. Life is fragile. Very fragile.
     
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  17. Obsessed

    Obsessed Telefied Silver Supporter

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    One of the most disheartening things to observe. As @teletimetx mentioned, playing music might help delaying this terrible aging phenomena. And as he also mentioned, "pitiful" is not the correct term at all.

    I wonder often if losing the memory functions is about the worse affliction during old age.
     
  18. schmee

    schmee Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    Ugh, the mind is a tough thing to go adrift. My sis had brain surgery in '98 and it was nip and tuck how far back she would get for a while. Suddenly you realize that THE BRAIN is who you are, and who THEY are. The body? Ain't nuttin.
     
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  19. nojazzhere

    nojazzhere Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    I've commented on this before.....we ALL become forgetful and "lose a step or two" with aging. One difference to bear in mind, is.....forgetting where you put your car keys or wallet is not likely Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's is when you don't know what a car key or wallet IS. :(
    I have two very close examples of the two different cases.....my 95 year old mom is very "scattered" and dissociative. For example, she remembers what she had for breakfast, and can describe it to me in detail, but she can't remember what the food items are called. (eggs, bacon, sausage, etc.) This is a very common form of dementia, as the brain simply loses its cognitive powers.
    A cousin I'm close to, 85 years old, has diagnosed Alzheimer's. (not sure how it's diagnosed. They used to have to wait until someone died and did postmortem tests to know) She has limited long term memory, (remembers her parents, her work, etc) but ZERO short term recall. Using my "breakfast" example, she will not only NOT remember what she had to eat.....but she won't remember having eaten at all. I can tell her something, important or not, and fifteen minutes later, it's erased from her mind. It's not that it slipped her mind, and she can be reminded about it.... it's simply GONE.
    I'm so sorry for everyone who has to deal with this, whether a parent, a spouse, or themselves.....because it's heartbreaking to witness. But it's a curse of living (usually) a long life. My best wishes and prayers for all of you having to cope with this......
     
  20. Harry Styron

    Harry Styron Friend of Leo's Gold Supporter

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    As I understand, the part of the brain that stores tunes and the ability to play and sing is typically not affected until later in the dementia process, which involves the brain losing volume. So people with advanced dementia can often play instruments, dance and sing after they have lost many other abilities, though with diminishing motor skills and awareness of others.
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2021
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