Would you forget and affair from your wife?

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Jerry_Mountains, Sep 20, 2019.

  1. 4pickupguy

    4pickupguy Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

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    The answer is. They cant ask the question of someone else, only answer it themselves. Totally depends on that couple and their relationship, history weighed against the circumstances of the affair. Affairs can destroy entire families on both sides and the effects can be felt forever. Given they were newly married, if it were me I would not try to build a life on that foundation. It does not bode well. Wait until times get hard and you get cancer or worse. Will they be there for you? Sad, but things could be worse, there could be children counting on your marriage. Thankfully there are not.
    The marriages I have seen return from the brink had too much to loose. History, children etc.
     
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  2. BigDaddyLH

    BigDaddyLH Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    I'm reminded of...

    “I think my wife is cheating on me. I am a working musician and, as you would expect, travel a lot. I have been noticing strange things happening when I get home. Her mobile phone rings and she steps outside to answer it or she says, "I'll call you back later". When I ask her who called she gets evasive. Sometimes she goes out with friends but comes home late, getting dropped off around the corner and walking the rest of the way. I once picked up the extension while she was on the phone and she got very angry.

    A buddy of mine plays guitar in a band. He told me that my wife and some guy have been to his gigs. He wanted to borrow my guitar amp. That's when I got the idea to find out for myself what was really happening. I said, "Sure, you can use my amp but I want to hide behind it at the gig and see if she comes into the venue, and who she comes in with". He agreed.

    Saturday night came and I slipped behind my Marshall JCM800 half stack to get a good view. It wasn't long before I saw my wife come in with another guy. He bought them drinks and they sat down, conversing flirtatiously with each other. Then, after a while, he got up to go to the bathroom, and she started flirting with the bartender! She wrote something (I'm assuming her cell number) on a bar napkin and gave it to him. He gave her a wink and a nod. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. My wife - the sweet little coquette!! At this point it was getting awfully warm for me. I was sweating. I could feel the heat coming off the back of the amp. It was at that moment, crouching down behind the amp, that I noticed that one of the tubes was not glowing as bright as the other three. Is this something I can fix myself or do I need to take it to a technician?”​
     
  3. Jerry_Mountains

    Jerry_Mountains Tele-Meister

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    Hahaha magnificent.

    The lack of glowing is very common I wouldn't worry but I'd change the tube.
     
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  4. Stringbanger

    Stringbanger Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Tell him to cheat on her and see how she likes it. This could be the beginning of a swinger lifestyle. What do they call it? An open marriage? People actually live like that!

    Seriously, since it’s a fresh marriage, and if it was me, she would get the boot unconditionally, and unceremoniously.
     
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  5. Mike Eskimo

    Mike Eskimo Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Been trying to get her to do it for years.

    I put it down to a lack of ambition on her part.

    So , we bike a little, watch tv, go out to eat - but I’m not giving up !! :mad:
     
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  6. davidge1

    davidge1 Friend of Leo's

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    My reaction would be different than most, I guess. It would be more like "What the hell were you thinking?"

    I don't really believe in splitting up, for the most part. It feels like the weak thing to do. Marriage is such a huge, monumental thing. An affair, by comparison, involves very little. Why split up over something like that? People say "trust", but is that really it? Or is it more about ego and jealousy? I think they could go on to have a great marriage. They're both in it for the long haul. The guy she had the affair with most likely isn't.
     
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  7. VWAmTele

    VWAmTele Friend of Leo's

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    New marriage, no kids, no brainer. Leave. Marriage is tough enough without having to factor in mistrust.
     
  8. bcorig

    bcorig Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    Whatever the reason for the betrayal there is no way to assure its not going to happen again.
    I'm married for 37 years. We agreed at the outset that there was zero tolerance on cheating and physical abuse. I've had my opportunities and I know about my wife's been hit on at the gym. Neither of use broke our vows and it seems to have worked for both of us.
     
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  9. Jerry_Mountains

    Jerry_Mountains Tele-Meister

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    That's a very different perspective, it could work ONLY if the cheating part change and repair all of the faults.
     
  10. Larry F

    Larry F Doctor of Teleocity Vendor Member

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    I would leave.

    I'd be willing to consider extenuating circumstances, but in general, I'm gone. People that feel that they need to get around like that are not cut out for many types of relationships.

    When things occur early in a relationship, it is only natural to worry that they might happen again.

    I have rejected more women that I ever thought I would. After my rock and roll days, I began looking at possible relationships from a long-term perspective. If a woman got snippy early on, that's a sign for me to bail. You can't fix snippiness, and I hate to be around it. It is kind of insulting to be sniped at, at least before you are married.
     
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  11. SAguitar

    SAguitar Tele-Meister

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    I've left two for cheating in the past, and not regretted it. Love can take a lot of blows, but trust is fragile.
     
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  12. Telecastoff1

    Telecastoff1 Tele-Afflicted

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  13. fenderrookie

    fenderrookie A fan of Leo! Ad Free Member

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    I kicked her out
     
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  14. reckless toboggan

    reckless toboggan Tele-Holic

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    Repeat after me:

    "Buddy. We've been friends for a long time, and we will continue to be no matter what. I will be here for you. I support whatever decision you make. I am here for you, whatever happens. This is your decision. Only you can make it. Only you know how you really feel. Only you really know your relationship. But whatever you decide, and no matter how many times you change your mind or doubt yourself either way, I will be here to support you and help you the best I can in whatever way you need."
     
  15. Harry Styron

    Harry Styron Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    I never noticed that snippiness is the noun form of the verb snipe (not the snipe that planers and routers commit).

    And I agree. Much of the credit for my 45-year marriage has to do with my wife’s sweet disposition. Never has she sniped at me, even when I’ve merited it.

    In those 45 years, there have been times I might have, just for a moment, wished she would find someone else, and I sure she has felt that way too. But we’ve been able to work through rough patches, and I am glad we have. But if I didn’t admire her character, I doubt if I would have.

    When we were young and around other young people and lots of alcohol, lines were sometimes blurry late at night and regrettable things happened. But we forged on.
     
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  16. Bones

    Bones Telefied Ad Free Member

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    yeah, no.
     
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  17. 8barlouie

    8barlouie Friend of Leo's Gold Supporter

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    I can see how, after years of marriage, things get kinda familiar and predictable. So one of the couple has a couple drinks too many and ends up in a motel with some smooth talking lounge lizard. She realizes what a mistake she’s made, so she confesses and apologizes. I could see how a situation like that could lead to reparations. I coulda been him, no difference.

    But now you’re telling me these were newlyweds? Nope, different deal. And what’s more, she is most likely an incurable narcissist. It’s been my experience that people who do things like that think of no one’s feelings but their own. These people make horrible mates.
     
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  18. Marquee Moon

    Marquee Moon Tele-Holic

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    I would ask myself, what would a cave man do?
     
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  19. Mark the Moose

    Mark the Moose Tele-Holic

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    Counseling. Lots of counseling. Cheating usually follows something else that is broken. It doesn't have to be the end of the marriage, nor is it easy to simply move past, but unpacking the issues will help provide some clarity.
     
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  20. 985plowboy

    985plowboy Friend of Leo's

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    Well.....bye.
     
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