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Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Jerry_Mountains, Sep 20, 2019.
Don't go in there! .... Everyone knows rosewood is better
What's most crucial is the circumstances that led to her going outside of the relationship in the first place. There's a long list of reasons why people have affairs...Outside of physical and/or emotional abuse, if it's something that can be remedied and both parties are willing to work very hard, there's hope...but it is very difficult. Once that bond of trust is breached, you'll never look at your partner the same way again.
I've been on the receiving end of infidelity. It affects you in both large and small ways for the rest of your life.
First, this is a good chance for your friend to get himself a real nice custom shop tele, or AVRI.
then leave, and join TDPRI
It's not the act, it's the breach of trust that's the problem. I can't think of anyone where this has occurred where it has worked out in the long term. So there's that...
i think that’s most if not everyone, people just don’t want to admit that they wouldn’t get over it, or that the relationship wouldn’t be heavily compromised.
If an annulment is in play I'd seriously consider that. Otherwise, I don't, that's tough. They make songs about that. "Cheaper to Keep Her."
I would kick her out to the street and change the locks. As mentioned in a previous post having an affair is one of the most disrespectful things someone could do to a partner. I would have zero respect for someone that would put me through that and would want nothing to do with them ever again.
There's no excuse for cheating and for me there's no giving second chances or salvaging the relationship. Living with a woman like that could take years off your life.
I'm with schmee.
Once the irrevocable trust is broken, it cannot ever be fully repaired. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship.
I don't subscribe to the "once a cheater, always a cheater" mantra, either. Many people have real reasons that lead to cheating (relating to neglect, abuse, or other relationship issues.)
At first I thought was a tough question, but since they are newlyweds that makes it far more simple...leave. They should have still been in the 'honeymoon' stage.
Cheated as a newlywed? I would never trust her again. No kids makes it even more simple. Get out before there are kids involved in it.
To me, the correct answer is there is no correct answer to such a question.
In my opinion it has not much to do with the whys and the hows it has happened, but rather with what the two individuals feel deep inside. If the two of them are deeply willing to make it work, then it will be difficult but it shall work. On the other hand, if even only one of the two is not, then there would be only pain for them sticking together.
A true and sincere introspection is the key to such a decision.
Kudos to Wally on the RC reference. Crazy for leaving and I could't leave her if I tried on the same record. Every situation is different, I never say never but in this case it may be easier to end earlier than later.
You can't take the chocolate out of chocolate milk. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
My take is that the marriage is over BEFORE the cheating starts. I've seen this happen with my BIL and with a few others. What caused the marriage to crumble differs from case to case, but cheating just doesn't happen where commitment remains. A lawyer would probably tell you not to walk out. That sets you up for abandonment and all other hassles. You'll be on better footing if she walks out.
If there is a significant amount of time in the marriage and kids, work it out. The kids will be destroyed. If it's just him and her, find out why she decided to break that trust and then decide. If she did it because he didn't give her enough attention and she needed more, RUN!!!!!
The long term problem is that once trust is gone, it's very hard to recover. However the kids have to come first no matter what your problems are.
I grew up with a divorce attorney as a dad, trust me I have heard horror stories of how kids were damage by divorce.
I'm 42... the vast majority of my friends have parents that divorced. Baby Boomers are ALL about divorce.
Most people came out OK anyway.
I also think the title of the thread is a little misworded. No one is going to forget their spouse cheated. The better question is whether you could forgive.
I think kids & other circumstances are what would decide it. It'd be really hard for me to stay I think. Not particularly worried about this happening to me though!
Under no circumstances should he stay with this person. Life is too short to spend with a sorry person. Yes I said sorry person-anyone who would commit to another and then crap all over it.
If he cheated he would have been kicked out and nailed to a cross. No excuse for it especially if they are newly wed it will only be worse down the road and he will have to live with that for the rest of his life, fear and unable to fully trust in his partner. I would end it before they have kids and it gets messy for them
It don’t matter what the reasons for cheating are. Those are just excuses. Anyone who claims justification for cheating based on any one or multiple relationship issues please explain how the cheating helps to solve those issues.
If my wife tried to leave me, I'd chain myself to her leg. If she cheated on me - Over.