Worst You've Been Called

Les H

Jun 2, 2018
An ex called me a loner as we were breaking up. She was a really outgoing partier and I wasn't.

Sounds to me like you were just prepared for what was about to happen!

I had an ex who was the exact same way. I think she was afraid of missing out (of what I don't know) but mostly she liked to be "eye oogled" by other guys when she was out and about.

Now father time has caught up to her and her partying took it's toll. She's still single, aged and appears pretty lonely. I should probably drop her off a cat.


Poster Extraordinaire
Gold Supporter
May 3, 2016
Northern Alabama
My mom once called me a Snake Spawn of Satan.
This was regarding some recordings I made with a buddy when we were 12 and trying to out-NSFW each other on tape.
At twelve to fourteen males are trying to learn to cuss and who they will become. We do a lot of vile things. Once past that point most males then work hard at trying not to cuss or act that way. Kind of a weird period.


Jun 28, 2017
Lehigh Acres, Florida
my brother and I were both frequently called "dammit" by the old man. it was like we had the same middle name.
Is your name Ray Ferguson? :lol:

The worst things I’ve been called were because of my views.

I was having a birthday dinner one year with my two best friends. We ordered this huge plate of chicken nachos, and when the waiter brought it to the table he looked at me and said "Calm down buddy there's enough for everyone". We were all big guys, but I was the smallest of the 3 :rolleyes:.

I was on a job site once meeting with contractors, and one of the subs who was trying to redesign the project because he didn't want to build it the way the plans called for, started asking about my qualifications and said "so, you don't know sh%& then..." and walked away. The joke was on him though because he got fired off the job a couple weeks later.


Ad Free Member
Mar 2, 2010
My older brother doesn’t like me.

He has volumes of reasons why he doesn’t like me, most of which don’t really stand up to any kind of scrutiny.

Much of his vitriol comes from me not following him and doing his bidding at every turn, and my wife similarly not accepting his wife’s bullying behavior.

When I politely rebuff his Latest Reason for disliking me, he just sputters and throws another invective, hoping I’ll get mad.

He also insists that we have conversations “to clear the air,” which means he will vent his reasons for disliking me, some of which cover everything I’ve done wrong since 1970, and some of which just cover the previous five days (his choice).

Years ago, when I was in my teens/early twenties, these confrontations would often turn physical, which he prefers because he is less articulate and physically bigger, which tops the scales in his favor.

I stopped losing my temper in my twenties, afraid that I would hurt someone (I very nearly hurt a man, and had things gone wrong could have killed him), which makes him dislike me even more, because he can’t control his temper.

I quit drinking in 1998, which makes him mistrust me further.

I finally quit absorbing his anger, insults and threats three years ago, which just makes him dislike me more.

Anyway, during our second-to-last interaction (a little more than two years ago), he told me that I was a selfish, miserly [illegitimate child] because I was putting my family’s financial health and goals ahead of his various get-rich-quick get-ripped-off-quick schemes.

I gently pointed out the flaws in the latest scheme (mainly, the untrustworthy characters who were running the show and his poor track record on such investments).

He opined that I didn’t have faith in my fellowman, and then reiterated that I was a tightwad and I often acted like a(n) [illegitimate child]. (This statement was somehow supposed to endear him to me and influence my faith in his scheme).

I calmly asked him if he thought I was a tightwad (1) because I lived within my means, or (2) because I’d never lost a home (twice), multiple vehicles (four) and had to declare bankruptcy (twice), or (3) because I’m able to have my own home and not live in our parents’ garage apartment?
(Yes, I know that last one was kind of a low blow, but he put himself on that position, and bullied my parents into allowing it—they didn’t want him living back there).

At this point, his head was about to explode, and he just called me a stupid [illegitimate child].

I decided to end the conversation once and for all, and pointed out that I was born a full six years and two months after our parents’ wedding, and he was born a mere four months after their nuptials, so between the two of us, he was much closer to being an [illegitimate child] than I would ever be.

I then offered that he should perhaps call me an [orifice that ends the mammalian digestive tract], and he could reserve the title of [illegitimate child] for himself.

He then threatened me physically, which made me laugh…
Seriously? You’re in your mid-fifties and you want to have a fist-fight with your little brother? Good Lord, man…grow up!”

We had one more conversation after that; he (again) wanted to “clear the air.”, which consisted of him repeating a (malicious) lie his wife told about my wife and daughter (knowing they were my soft spots, and assuming I would get mad).
I didn’t take the bait and simply said, “That’s not true, and I’d appreciate you not repeating it.”
This infuriated him, and he again tried to pick a physical fight.
I shook my head, stood up and walked away.
That was in early 2020. We haven’t spoken since.

It upsets my parents. I’m tell myself I’m ok with it…but I wish he would get some help.

But that makes me an [orifice that ends the mammalian digestive tract], I guess.
I got a name for you:
You sir are TOO BUSY to spend any more time with people like that!

Family or not...


Nov 28, 2018
New Orleans, LA
Back in my gawky early teens I was called Peewee Herman, because I suppose there’s a slight resemblance. One kid that I never knew always used to call me Gonzo, because I have a humongous Jewish nose. I never understood why that was supposed to be so insulting. He was already a cool guy and had lots of friends and I was a total nerd with almost no friends, he’d already won. But now I realize that there are no winners in life.


Friend of Leo's
Oct 1, 2010
Central TX
When I was 8, I got called a “Fem-iron tab” (some kind of gender-specific geriatric vitamin supplement) by a friends older brother. He was a world-weary cynic at the onset of puberty.
I can’t really fault him for it. I mean, I WAS riding a Raleigh 3-speed bike, instead of the Schwinn Sting-Ray 5-speed stick-shift in sparkle orange…