Worst You've Been Called

Old Deaf Roadie

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Or rather, the worst you've been called when stuff was 100% not your fault.

I have been called plenty worse by better people than what happened this morning during a business group meeting we were hosting. But, the way it was delivered made me think it was pretty bad in the guy's mind. This was all about an old timer (we'll call him Statler & Waldorf), a wireless microphone, and his inability to implement instructions in front of a group of peers.

My wireless inventory is exclusively Audix because they are local & they treat us very well. Not a snob, there are better capsules (I use Heil RC35 capsules on many, but not all, of them), but I do love their H60 stuff as a wireless platform. In my environment, they are rock solid...and affordable. It operates with a single button: press on, press mute/unmute, press & hold to turn it off.

So the oldster says he has something to say & the leader hands him a hand mic, which was in standby, and tells him to press the button to turn it on. Instead, he executes a flawless press & hold which turns the unit off, and begins to speak. "This thing's broken, obviously junk". Then, it was unsolicited suggestions from the peanut gallery, of course which none worked except to annoy him. "Turn it on". "I did". "No, something's wrong".

I approach the guy and offer to help & he thrusts the mic in my hands. The dark display means only one thing, so I turn it on & wait the 3 seconds to let it go live, then hand it back, saying only "you should be fine now".

He asks what I did, & I replied that "it looks like you inadvertently turned it off". Then he pops off out of the blue with "I suppose you think you're smarter than me, you goddam long haired rock hippie". And then I burst out laughing because it was so darn funny and so not my fault. I always treat my clients with respect, but not required to take their abuse.

Besides, anyone who knows me knows that I'm a goddam long haired blues hippie!
 

_MementoMori_

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Nice try, Big Brother.
Sometimes when my wife and I are out in public, a store employee will approach us from behind and say, "Is there anything we can help you ladies with today?". Then I turn around and they're greeted by the face of the ugliest bearded lady they've ever laid eyes on.

Sometimes I wonder if they know in advance and say it just to agitate me. Which it doesn't. I don't care in the slightest.
 

Dirty Dave

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Or rather, the worst you've been called when stuff was 100% not your fault.

I have been called plenty worse by better people than what happened this morning during a business group meeting we were hosting. But, the way it was delivered made me think it was pretty bad in the guy's mind. This was all about an old timer (we'll call him Statler & Waldorf), a wireless microphone, and his inability to implement instructions in front of a group of peers.

My wireless inventory is exclusively Audix because they are local & they treat us very well. Not a snob, there are better capsules (I use Heil RC35 capsules on many, but not all, of them), but I do love their H60 stuff as a wireless platform. In my environment, they are rock solid...and affordable. It operates with a single button: press on, press mute/unmute, press & hold to turn it off.

So the oldster says he has something to say & the leader hands him a hand mic, which was in standby, and tells him to press the button to turn it on. Instead, he executes a flawless press & hold which turns the unit off, and begins to speak. "This thing's broken, obviously junk". Then, it was unsolicited suggestions from the peanut gallery, of course which none worked except to annoy him. "Turn it on". "I did". "No, something's wrong".

I approach the guy and offer to help & he thrusts the mic in my hands. The dark display means only one thing, so I turn it on & wait the 3 seconds to let it go live, then hand it back, saying only "you should be fine now".

He asks what I did, & I replied that "it looks like you inadvertently turned it off". Then he pops off out of the blue with "I suppose you think you're smarter than me, you goddam long haired rock hippie". And then I burst out laughing because it was so darn funny and so not my fault. I always treat my clients with respect, but not required to take their abuse.

Besides, anyone who knows me knows that I'm a goddam long haired blues hippie!
A rock hippie is a pretty hip insult.
The extra adjective totally works.
 

jondanger

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I work for CPS in Baltimore. We know how to cuss good here, and all of them have been directed at me.

“Satanic” is a good one though. Only have had that a few times. I like how it merges spiritual and institutional evil, and juxtaposes that synthesis with state intervention in family life.
 

BigDaddyLH

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I work for CPS in Baltimore. We know how to cuss good here, and all of them have been directed at me.

“Satanic” is a good one though. Only have had that a few times. I like how it merges spiritual and institutional evil, and juxtaposes that synthesis with state intervention in family life.

I've been called a heathen. Who even uses that word anymore?
 

Randypttt

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Or rather, the worst you've been called when stuff was 100% not your fault.

I have been called plenty worse by better people than what happened this morning during a business group meeting we were hosting. But, the way it was delivered made me think it was pretty bad in the guy's mind. This was all about an old timer (we'll call him Statler & Waldorf), a wireless microphone, and his inability to implement instructions in front of a group of peers.

My wireless inventory is exclusively Audix because they are local & they treat us very well. Not a snob, there are better capsules (I use Heil RC35 capsules on many, but not all, of them), but I do love their H60 stuff as a wireless platform. In my environment, they are rock solid...and affordable. It operates with a single button: press on, press mute/unmute, press & hold to turn it off.

So the oldster says he has something to say & the leader hands him a hand mic, which was in standby, and tells him to press the button to turn it on. Instead, he executes a flawless press & hold which turns the unit off, and begins to speak. "This thing's broken, obviously junk". Then, it was unsolicited suggestions from the peanut gallery, of course which none worked except to annoy him. "Turn it on". "I did". "No, something's wrong".

I approach the guy and offer to help & he thrusts the mic in my hands. The dark display means only one thing, so I turn it on & wait the 3 seconds to let it go live, then hand it back, saying only "you should be fine now".

He asks what I did, & I replied that "it looks like you inadvertently turned it off". Then he pops off out of the blue with "I suppose you think you're smarter than me, you goddam long haired rock hippie". And then I burst out laughing because it was so darn funny and so not my fault. I always treat my clients with respect, but not required to take their abuse.

Besides, anyone who knows me knows that I'm a goddam long haired blues hippie!


2-bit picker. :mad:

My wife, 30 years ago. Gotta love her. 40 years this April :D
 

brookdalebill

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My Mom, when exasperated with my attention span (or lack there of) would look at me and say "Unconscious!"
That was not the worst.
I had a guitarist/peer/competitor opine that I played better with my feet than my hands.
Ouch!
I once gigged with a lot of messy stomp boxes.
Not any more, my hands (and head) take full responsibility.
I once had a successful Texas based recording artist disrespect my band thusly:
"Who are these nobodys?"
Ouch!
I once heard a couple of guys disrespect another of my bands (the Outriders) thusly:
"Those guys suck, they should call themselves the Outhousers!"
Ouch, again.
My Dad once opined that my head was only useful as a hat rack.
Doh!
 
Last edited:

stxrus

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Back in the mid ‘80s when I my company that installed and maintained broadcast type video/audio systems we put in an elaborate editing system for a law firm that was getting into video crime scene reenactment/animation.
We trained their “operators” so they could do their job. Six months down the road I get a call the system won’t turn on. Someone hit the master power switch which was not easily accessible. I flipped the switch, fired the system up, rebooted the things that had been shut down incorrectly, dropped off my bill.
Get called back again, the system is down. Repeat the above procedure and tell the head editor not to let anyone turn off the master power
Called back again and as I walk up to the receptionist the two head lawyers start yelling at me about the poor equipment we installed and if we couldn’t get it straightened out heads (mine) would roll.
I tried to explain the situation and was interrupted with a barrage of profanity questioning my ability, my parents marriage, my hair, my clothes, and I’m sure other stuff I couldn’t understand.
I said goodbye to the receptionist, goodbye to the assembled, in shock, employees, and headed to the door. The oldest of the two lawyers (late 70s screamed, “ You, you freaking (not his real word but you get the idea) whippersnapper!” I had never before or since been called that. I wear it as a badge of honor
 

Toto'sDad

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Or rather, the worst you've been called when stuff was 100% not your fault.

I have been called plenty worse by better people than what happened this morning during a business group meeting we were hosting. But, the way it was delivered made me think it was pretty bad in the guy's mind. This was all about an old timer (we'll call him Statler & Waldorf), a wireless microphone, and his inability to implement instructions in front of a group of peers.

My wireless inventory is exclusively Audix because they are local & they treat us very well. Not a snob, there are better capsules (I use Heil RC35 capsules on many, but not all, of them), but I do love their H60 stuff as a wireless platform. In my environment, they are rock solid...and affordable. It operates with a single button: press on, press mute/unmute, press & hold to turn it off.

So the oldster says he has something to say & the leader hands him a hand mic, which was in standby, and tells him to press the button to turn it on. Instead, he executes a flawless press & hold which turns the unit off, and begins to speak. "This thing's broken, obviously junk". Then, it was unsolicited suggestions from the peanut gallery, of course which none worked except to annoy him. "Turn it on". "I did". "No, something's wrong".

I approach the guy and offer to help & he thrusts the mic in my hands. The dark display means only one thing, so I turn it on & wait the 3 seconds to let it go live, then hand it back, saying only "you should be fine now".

He asks what I did, & I replied that "it looks like you inadvertently turned it off". Then he pops off out of the blue with "I suppose you think you're smarter than me, you goddam long haired rock hippie". And then I burst out laughing because it was so darn funny and so not my fault. I always treat my clients with respect, but not required to take their abuse.


Besides, anyone who knows me knows that I'm a goddam long haired blues hippie!

It is good Grasshopper that you have and know your place in the universe.
 

Jakedog

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Probably when a not-on-this-planet-mentally customer said, "You're fat! How many customers did you eat?"

Yeah, I definitely am on the "Large Economy Size" side of the scale...but accusing me of cannibalism?!?:lol::lol::lol::lol:
I’m not defending him, but is there anything about your appearance or demeanor that would absolutely negate the idea that you might be a cannibal? I mean, the first thing everyone always says about serial killers is “I’d have never believed it. He seemed so normal.”
 

_MementoMori_

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Nice try, Big Brother.
I have gotten the 'Satanist' thing a lot and all of the variations of that. Comes with the territory I guess when you walk around in Abysmal Lord and Eyehategod shirts. I don't mind it really but I guess other people might.

Didn't think there were any other doom metal guys here. Nice to meet you! What other bands do you like?
 




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