Why Would A Lady Do This?

Bill Sheehan

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Reminds me of something an acquaintance was involved in. He's 6" 7", an imposing man. Normally a gentle soul, but prone to temper in a vehicle. That all changed one day on the road. Not sure of the provocation, but another car conflicted with his. Traffic stopped. He saw red, jumped out and stood over the other driver's window, screaming obscenities, menacing. Then looks in the back, sees two little kids in the back seat, hysterically crying, fear in their eyes, trying to get away from him.

He snapped out of it, has never acted out again, and is still ashamed about that day.
Wow, Mad Dog, that's an eye-opener for sure.
 

pippoman

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Yesterday I was driving through my neighborhood, on a stretch where the speed limit is 30 mph (I was going probably 32), and as I came off a 4-way stop, I glanced in my rearview mirror and noticed that a lady (who looked to be in her mid-thirties) was right up my rear in her older-model compact. I could swear she hadn't been there ten seconds earlier.

When we came to the next 4-way stop, there was a car facing me, with his left-turn blinker on, and he and I had arrived at the 4-way at about the same moment, so I decided to wave him on to make his left turn.

At that moment (and I KNEW this was going to happen!) the lady behind me laid on her horn, apparently feeling that my act of courtesy was spoiling her day.

When the left-turning guy had cleared out of the intersection, I kind of kicked it up and created a little space between myself and the aggressive lady behind me.

Then, within another few tenths of a mile we arrived at a stop-n-go light, which had just turned red. I needed to turn left, so I got in the left turn lane, and the lady pulled up next to me, to my right.

I decided to look straight ahead so as not to invite a confrontation, but within seconds she began tapping her horn as if to get my attention, and when I glanced over, she too was looking straight ahead-- but her left hand was raised against her window in full "bird-flip" mode, and she kept it positioned thusly until the light changed back to green (a continuous period of 40 seconds or so).

I just kind of chuckled to myself, but I made no attempt to engage, thinking "it's just not worth it."

But the question that really bothers me is, in this day and age, why would ANY lady, driving alone, act in such an aggressive manner toward a male, a complete stranger to her, not knowing if that guy might "go off" and jump out of his car with a baseball bat, or begin following her, or any number of other nasty reactions? Just seems to me that she was asking for a bad outcome!

Realizing that it was probably wise for me to stay cool, I have to admit to wondering if there might've been any other more "fun" options for handling this... I figured that if there were any such options, or similar stories, to be had, my friends on the Tele forum would be the place to find them.
I know this thread is about to become too old to be relevant, so here’s my $.02.
Giving up the right of way IS a nice thing to do as a rule. It’s never a rude, aggressive act, but rather a nice gesture. The person behind you may not always see it that way, especially if they have to pee.

That said, the female behind you was the only jerk in that scenario unless we missed something. She was the ONLY aggressor in the equation, and those of you who defended her need to rethink. She thought her actions through whereas the OP likely did what he did impulsively, not meaning to anger anyone. Even if he made a bad call, he did it with good intent and it in no way warranted her reaction.

I was driving down a 2 lane street through an unfamiliar neighborhood when I noticed my (right) lane was about to end, so I checked my rear view and side mirrors and the coast looked clear. As I started to change lanes I saw there was a car in my blind spot and quickly moved back. No harm done, right? The young female in the car came around me honking and cursing and I gestured I was sorry, but she wasn’t having it. She swerved directly in front of me and slammed on her brakes, almost deliberately causing a wreck. I pulled over and waited until she was out of sight. I live in Memphis for now. People around here will “pop a cap” on you for anything. Drive defensively! I’m getting out of this crazy town as soon as possible. Surely people aren’t this hateful everywhere!
 

Endless Mike

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Arlington, Texas
Yesterday I was driving through my neighborhood, on a stretch where the speed limit is 30 mph (I was going probably 32), and as I came off a 4-way stop, I glanced in my rearview mirror and noticed that a lady (who looked to be in her mid-thirties) was right up my rear in her older-model compact. I could swear she hadn't been there ten seconds earlier.

When we came to the next 4-way stop, there was a car facing me, with his left-turn blinker on, and he and I had arrived at the 4-way at about the same moment, so I decided to wave him on to make his left turn.

At that moment (and I KNEW this was going to happen!) the lady behind me laid on her horn, apparently feeling that my act of courtesy was spoiling her day.

When the left-turning guy had cleared out of the intersection, I kind of kicked it up and created a little space between myself and the aggressive lady behind me.

Then, within another few tenths of a mile we arrived at a stop-n-go light, which had just turned red. I needed to turn left, so I got in the left turn lane, and the lady pulled up next to me, to my right.

I decided to look straight ahead so as not to invite a confrontation, but within seconds she began tapping her horn as if to get my attention, and when I glanced over, she too was looking straight ahead-- but her left hand was raised against her window in full "bird-flip" mode, and she kept it positioned thusly until the light changed back to green (a continuous period of 40 seconds or so).

I just kind of chuckled to myself, but I made no attempt to engage, thinking "it's just not worth it."

But the question that really bothers me is, in this day and age, why would ANY lady, driving alone, act in such an aggressive manner toward a male, a complete stranger to her, not knowing if that guy might "go off" and jump out of his car with a baseball bat, or begin following her, or any number of other nasty reactions? Just seems to me that she was asking for a bad outcome!

Realizing that it was probably wise for me to stay cool, I have to admit to wondering if there might've been any other more "fun" options for handling this... I figured that if there were any such options, or similar stories, to be had, my friends on the Tele forum would be the place to find them.
There's not any judgement or blame in this, just an objective stating of my own observations. It seems that intelligence/intellectual capacity is in decline. Common sense isn't so common any more. Decency, honesty and kindness is a vanishing commodity (a somewhat odd choice of word, but I'll go with it). As well, people seem angrier, more volatile and frequently ready for violence at the slightest provocation.

Some will assign this to people of certain demographics or ideological inclinations. It seems to me there isn't any rhyme or reason. It can't be so easily stereotyped, it appears to be people of all walks of life and station. There's not any one simple answer as to why, the cause is composed of a vast number of moving parts.
 

pippoman

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There's not any judgement or blame in this, just an objective stating of my own observations. It seems that intelligence/intellectual capacity is in decline. Common sense isn't so common any more. Decency, honesty and kindness is a vanishing commodity (a somewhat odd choice of word, but I'll go with it). As well, people seem angrier, more volatile and frequently ready for violence at the slightest provocation.

Some will assign this to people of certain demographics or ideological inclinations. It seems to me there isn't any rhyme or reason. It can't be so easily stereotyped, it appears to be people of all walks of life and station. There's not any one simple answer as to why, the cause is composed of a vast number of moving parts.
We’ll stated. “Common courtesy” is an oxymoron. Hey! Did I just come up with that?
 

Bill Sheehan

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I know this thread is about to become too old to be relevant, so here’s my $.02.
Giving up the right of way IS a nice thing to do as a rule. It’s never a rude, aggressive act, but rather a nice gesture. The person behind you may not always see it that way, especially if they have to pee.

That said, the female behind you was the only jerk in that scenario unless we missed something. She was the ONLY aggressor in the equation, and those of you who defended her need to rethink. She thought her actions through whereas the OP likely did what he did impulsively, not meaning to anger anyone. Even if he made a bad call, he did it with good intent and it in no way warranted her reaction.

I was driving down a 2 lane street through an unfamiliar neighborhood when I noticed my (right) lane was about to end, so I checked my rear view and side mirrors and the coast looked clear. As I started to change lanes I saw there was a car in my blind spot and quickly moved back. No harm done, right? The young female in the car came around me honking and cursing and I gestured I was sorry, but she wasn’t having it. She swerved directly in front of me and slammed on her brakes, almost deliberately causing a wreck. I pulled over and waited until she was out of sight. I live in Memphis for now. People around here will “pop a cap” on you for anything. Drive defensively! I’m getting out of this crazy town as soon as possible. Surely people aren’t this hateful everywhere!
Doggone it, Pippoman, that was a nasty experience for sure!
 

sloppychops

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When we came to the next 4-way stop, there was a car facing me, with his left-turn blinker on, and he and I had arrived at the 4-way at about the same moment, so I decided to wave him on to make his left turn.

That right there is where you screwed up. If you both arrived at the same time and the other car was turning left, you had the right of way and should have gone. The car turning left at a 4 way always yields to the car going straight thru.

The "lady" behind you was probably ticked off because you looked like someone who doesn't know the basic rules of the road.
 

1955

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The games are but layers of an elaborately preposterous cake, with all manner of rules, that prove irreconcilable when the ever-growing echelon of players inevitably collide blowing out the candles.
 

dogmeat

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Guessing its because she has some kind of giant gash that needs medical attention. a proper cleaning and censing should suffice
 

Refugee

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I've told this story before so I'll keep it short.

Back in the 1980's I had a Mercedes cut me off on the freeway. For some crazy reason (i was pissed off) i followed her for about 10 minutes until she took an access road and pulled over. So mad me I did the same. She got out of her car with her expensive business suit on and proceeded to cuss and swear at me right in my face, using words I didn't know existed. As I stood there I remembered I was holding a full Big Gulp at the time (remember those?) A light bulb slowly came on above my head and I dumped it on her. As she stood there dumbfounded I got back in my truck and drove away.

Today I would be shot.

So don't try this kids.

I went to see a band at a resort kinda place in the Santa Cruz Mtns, called the Brookdale Lodge. It was a mobster hang out in the 40's and 50's, which burned down years ago. It was about closing time, and the bartender just poured me a fresh beer. I go back to the music area to watch the last song, encore. As soon as they stopped playing and the lights came on, this waitress or cleanup girl approached me and tried to snag my beer out of my hand. My buddy drove, so I was pretty drunk being end of the night.
we both struggled at getting or retaining possession of MY beer. Finally, it looked as though she was going to put all of her might into another attempt. So, I let go and she totally soaked herself. I just stood there and laughed and laughed at her!
 

Todd Connelly

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Sandy, OR United States
I know that I'm more than a month late to the party on the o/p. And I also admit that I haven't read the entire thread so maybe someone beat me to it. I also know that I'm likely to make myself into a pariah on this site for saying this. But I am a bit of a "Karen" when it comes to the "rules of the road". Both on the road and on the water so I'll just say it.

The rule in this case states that the vehicle making a left turn is required to wait until the way is clear before making their turn. The vehicle going straight is required to do so as quickly as possible so as to get t__ F___ out of the way as quickly as possible. The rules of the road exist so that everyone is on the same page and can therefor predict what the other car is going to do. When someone decides to make up their own rules in an effort to be "courteous" it causes problems. I feel certain that this is what set off the "lady" in the o/p. When someone does this, the reality is it's all about them! "Look how magnanimous I am"! If someone really, truly wanted to be courteous they would learn the rules of the road and follow them!

The possibility that not one person in 10 pages of discussion has brought this up would not surprise me one bit!

Cheers........................Todd
 

Fredhead59

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Late to the party...
As I have done before when I have the same situation as the OP-I roll my window down and say to the female (no male) driver "Not even if you paid me".
If I had no one behind me I too would have let the other driver go first. Or if a driver is pushing me I'll hold them up on purpose.
 

Frontman

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After more than a decade in law enforcement I learned to lower my expectations. What used to be called “common sense” is now as common as dodo birds or passenger pigeons. That’s one of the reasons I left the job. No matter how far I lowered the bar of expectations, people still managed to pass under it.
 

Nick Fanis

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Something happens to some people when they get in cars. And it's not something good.

I got rid of my car 4 months ago and only walk or use public transportation.
Best decision I ever made in my life after getting married to my wonderful wife and having an equally wonderful child.
And I am 100% serious.
 

omahaaudio

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...why would ANY lady, driving alone, act in such an aggressive manner...
Karens are everywhere.

(Hint for the future: In the she's-behind-you situation, when the light turns green try stalling the car. Twice if you can... Easier with a manual transmission.)
 
Last edited:

omahaaudio

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Back in the 1980's I had a Mercedes cut me off on the freeway. For some crazy reason (i was pissed off) i followed her for about 10 minutes until she took an access road and pulled over. So mad me I did the same. She got out of her car with her expensive business suit on and proceeded to cuss and swear at me right in my face, using words I didn't know existed. As I stood there I remembered I was holding a full Big Gulp at the time (remember those?) A light bulb slowly came on above my head and I dumped it on her. As she stood there dumbfounded I got back in my truck and drove away.

Today I would be shot.
Or charged with assault.
 




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