Why is Daddy Sleeping on the Couch?

[Jupiter]

I've never slept on the couch. I reckon it's the pissed off one that has to go, and I almost always cool down by bedtime.

On the other hand, my wife has slept on the couch a couple times in twenty years. She holds a grudge better than me.

 

[w3stie]

I don't have any tales to recount, but I just laughed at the thread title before I'd even read any of the responses. A great thread, worthy of the bad dog

 

[chezdeluxe]

Sleeping on the sofa with two telecasters.

 

[Maxwell Street]

Ya think? You'd be surprised how many couples subscribe to the elevated drama thing. Sitcoms make some couples look like reality TV.

The subtext being if someone dictates to you where you should sleep, and you go along with it, you're on the slippery slope. Good luck. You're going to need it. Not what I would call a healthy relationship.

 

[tfsails]

I retired eight years ago; my wife, who is 12 years younger than I, still works. Our schedules have become so different that I usually sleep on the sofa so I don't disturb her when she goes to bed much earlier than me.

Our guest room doesn't have a TV, so it stays empty. Fortunately, our sofa is as comfy as a bed.

We each have unlimited visiting privileges.

 

[FenderGyrl]

(Laughing)

 

[koen]

In those cases my wife sleeps in the guest room.

 

[Maxwell Street]

In those cases my wife sleeps in the guest room.

the garage...lol

 

[Paul in Colorado]

So none of you guys have ever said something stupid, that you didn't realize was stupid, but your wife sure thought so and you ended up in the metaphorical doghouse?

Maybe I should be asking your wives.

 

[Toto'sDad]

Mommy why is daddy sleeping on the couch, huh, why mommy why? Cause your old man smells like the south end of a north bound mule, and I'm sick and tired of sleeping with a clothspin on my schnoz. He can sleep on the couch from now on out, or until he takes at least four baths and wears out two bath brushes and uses two bars of lifeboy on that crusy carcass of his , then he can come back in here,,,,, maybe. Come to think of it kid you don't smell too good either, like father like whatever.

 

[gypsy jim]

We had one of those baby monitors with the mic in the nursery and the monitor in the living room. Right after my son was born in 1998, the mother and father in-law came to stay with us. I can explain her voice by saying she sounds like a 3 pack a day smoking Gladys Kravitz from Bewitched. One night in the living room, the baby wouldn't stop crying while being held and comforted by the MIL. I took the baby upstairs and while putting the baby in his crib I said something like, "I don't blame ya kid but think about your grandfather, he has been listening to that ***** for 35 years." Of course this was heard by everyone downstairs. I was on the couch that night. I have plenty of other couch stories so my couch is really broken in.

 

[Toto'sDad]

We had one of those baby monitors with the mic in the nursery and the monitor in the living room. Right after my son was born in 1998, the mother and father in-law came to stay with us. I can explain her voice by saying she sounds like a 3 pack a day smoking Gladys Kravitz from Bewitched. One night in the living room, the baby wouldn't stop crying while being held and comforted by the MIL. I took the baby upstairs and while putting the baby in his crib I said something like, "I don't blame ya kid but think about your grandfather, he has been listening to that ***** for 35 years." Of course this was heard by everyone downstairs. I was on the couch that night. I have plenty of other couch stories so my couch is really broken in.

 

[String Tree]

Nothing...I run my household like a well oiled machine, when I say jump she.......um, yes dear, I'll be right there.

In MY house, I'M the Boss.

She gave me permission.

 

[Ravie]

I almost got banished the other day. We were going to a musical (Rock of Ages - excellent show, risqué jokes) she had gotten us tickets to, and was describing how much I had HATED Rent (went with ex wife long ago) ... Rent was still in my head as I came back to RoA and called it "the whole ordeal". Yeah I knew as that exited my mouth I was a dead man...

Totally off the subject, but one of the main singers, Aaron Finley who played "Drew"Is my cousin! Not even distant! Haha the family has all been very proud of him. His family has given up a lot for that dream to come true and he totally deserves it.

Back on subject... We've both had nights on the couch. Sometimes when I'm tired and can't be bothered to get up I'll just fall asleep on the couch...sometimes for the whole night, sometimes til I get enough sleep. The nights where I was kicked out to the couch are gone from memory. They were bad fights.

Until we got our new bed a couple weeks ago I spent a few nights out on the couch to save my back... Now the dog gets the couch. He loves the jankity center cushion... It slumps down low enough he can use the cushion next to it as a pillow. Hahaha

 

[1962guitargeek]

Believe it or don't


I have deteriorating disc and 2 pinched nerves...we bought a BIG Lazy Boy sofa a few years back. I've been sleeping on it for about 3 months now, it does wonders for my back & neck.

My Bride was a bit insecure at first, she thought I was mad at her or didn't love her anymore...it's all good now.

 

[1962guitargeek]

"Do these jeans make my ass look fat?"
"No. (long pause) You ass makes the jeans look fat."

I swear to _____...My Bride asked me this same question yesterday...

I just stared for a few seconds and told her there was no way I could answer without getting in trouble...

 

[Middleman]

I have a bad back and split every night between the bed and the couch. My family is used to seeing me there.

 

[Bulldog87]

"Do these jeans make my ass look fat?"
"No. (long pause) You ass makes the jeans look fat."

I have a rule... I always say yes... Then get really over the top with it. Then I remind her its a trap question and I won't play along (and that she looks great no matter what she wears). But remember you have to go for epic hilarity otherwise she will get pissed. She doesn't ask those questions any more!!

Takes balls but it works!

 

[Mechanic]

One night for some reason the wife left for the couch. I woke up to a cold belly. She left me because of my snoring. A quick lesson on the use of soft earplugs and harmony is restored. We each keep a set on the bed stand. I've slept alone before wife #2. I'll put up with a lot for that comfort of my lovely wife next to me. We bothake the effort to work it out.

 

[StuR]

"Do these jeans make my ass look fat?"

How to answer this was a topic of discussion on BBC radio a few months ago. I phoned in to say,
"My partner's bum is so big it has it's own gravity".

Comments of horror in the studio, but my line continued,

"it must do, because every time she walks past my hand gets pulled onto it".

I won comment of the day