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Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Jakedog, Aug 18, 2018.
Warm apple pie.
Description of the worst odor, from Flann O’Brien, IIRC:
you smell like the death vomit of a leper.
Before you get any ideas, there is already a band called Death Vomit.
This is an old thread, but I've been on a Tuna boat, and been through that door, no single living human being could smell that bad. Those doors have an accumulation of many, many, many human internal fluids of various description that no single entity could possibly imitate. If you smelled like a tuna boat crapper door, my computer would still stink even as old as this thread is.
Part of my day job is keeping things off the roadways. Sometimes those things are dead. Deer, raccoons, cats, turkeys, dogs, foxes, bears, sasquatchs, mountain lions and everyone's favorite SKUNKS.
Fortunately this is a rural area so you just get um off in the brush and let nature take care of them, eagles and maggots. Pitch fork for the small stuff and a cable thing I made for the big stuff, maybe you drag um with the pickup a ways.
However there's always a worst case. . .
That's a skunk in town on a summer Monday. It might've been hit Friday after we all left work and went to the bar, it stinks bad in the heat.
About July I see one right in front of a C store on my way in. I try to pawn it off on somebody else when I get in, but that fails.
So me and another guy head over with a pitch fork and a garbage bag, he's got the pitch fork and a weak disposition.
He drops the dammed thing in the bag because he's getting sick, and I feel juice hit my arms.
So he drives, I got my arms out the window, he's gagging, we lay the skunk to rest and head back to the shop. I scrub the skin off my arms with mechanic's hand cleaner and smell like Go-Jo for a month.
I love my job.
Would you like some Surströmming with that?
Aftershave and taco meat
Apparently there are no child or animal protective services in Berlin!
One night, at a local bar which was hosting a open mic, this one guy thought I had some fajitas for dinner. When informed that I didn't have fajitas, he leaned towards me and said "well something here smells good. I think it's you!".
So apparently, I smell like Mexican food.
This doesn't happen often, but I'm speechless.
You are in there!