When should I stop being a nice guy?

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moosie

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Especially after reading that her relatives all outnumber you, I would report this to the post office, AND the police.

I'm generally law-abiding. No offense to any cops here, but I've learned the hard way that some of them don't think very critically when it comes to problem resolution.

In short, the person who calls the cops first, wins.

My son and I were hiking the Appalachian Trail, and had checked into a motel in Vermont. Even though the owner checked me in, and I was unfailingly polite, he began harassing me. I can't remember the actual complaints now, but all nonsense. We were just quiet, minding our own business.

I was trying to decide what to do, and I thought, what if he calls the cops? We were innocent, but the owner might likely spin things differently. One of those toxic characters, I suspect a relative of our OP's witch.

So, I picked up the phone, and calmly called the cops, and explained the situation. I said there was nothing they needed to do, but I wanted them to be aware. They thanked me, and within five minutes, a police car is in the lot. I come out and introduce myself, and at their request, we sought out the manager / owner together.

The owner's son was behind the desk. His eyes got wide when the cops asked for the owner, and he very obviously lied "I am the owner".

Me: "No he's not."

Cops love being lied to.

The owner had seen us coming, shoved his boy under the bus, and hid in the back. Yeah, stand up guy.

It went downhill from there, or uphill if you found it as amusing as I did. The owner was warned, we thanked the officers, and we left in a day or two. They never gave us any trouble.
 

Cosmic Cowboy

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Ok, let's see if I can explain this well. I live in town on a small lot that has 5 apartments on it. There is a cape cod house that faces the street and it has 2 apartments. I live in another building, above the garage. There are 3 apartments here. My problem is with the woman that lives on the 1st floor of the cape cod house. Sigh. I should describe her a bit. She's about 60, most would call her fat, she has no teeth and won't wear dentures. She has swelling in her lags but won't take lasix. She has long grey hair and a beard that would be the envy of many a lumberjack. She's stupid. That's all I can say. She's a stupid busybody. And she looks like an amateur witch.

So what's the issue? I go to counseling and she volunteers at the snack bar. About a year ago started telling my group and therapists that I was getting evicted. I wasn't. I asked her to stop. 4 or 5 months later, same thing. I calmly talked to her and told her that she's spreading gossip that has no truth and it was beginning to wear on my nerves so she should stop. As far I know she did. And all is calm until last week.

I should tell you that our mailboxes are attached to the front of the house. 5 of them. So last week I'm out front waiting for the pizza guy and she steps out onto the front porch. Then Wanda, the stupid bearded witch asks me if the mail came and as she's asking the question she starts looking in everyone's mailbox. She touched mine and I asked her what she was doing and she this is how I check to see if the mail came. I'm stunned. I told her that what she was doing is both a federal and state crime. And she says I know but do you know why I get into your mail? She continues...you get mail that isn't yours so I take it. I calmly flipped. I told her under no uncertain terms if my mailbox is touched again I'm calling the police and telling the post master. Over the past few years I've had things taken from my mailbox, packages missing. Well now I know.

The thing that really sucks is that I'm going to look like a dick if authorities and landlady get involved. I can't see the mailboxes from where I live, the fact I caught her was miraculous. Anyway, I had to vent, I didn't proofread this very well, I'm quite tense over this. Any advice short of hiding her broom? And really, I'm not being mean, she is very stupid which makes me think this nonsense will continue.
Calmly put her name on a package and place it in your mailbox and put some sun-dried dog turds in the package.
 

Telekarster

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FWIW my Grandma, when she got into her 60's, started developing signs of dimensia and would do things like this to everyone in the family. Over time she would even mistake people for WW2 enemies and such, which was really embarassing but people understood the "situation". Point is, who knows what sorts of things she might be dealing with that no one has any control over.... perhaps not even her. If it were me, I'd see if it would be OK to put a locking mailbox up and call it a day on that issue, and try to find some compassion on the rest of it i.e. let what she says roll off... good luck mate, and hope all works out for you and her!
 
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getbent

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do nothing. when she gossips about you, ignore it. if she tells your counselor, your counselor is a professional and will receive the information, consider the source and also ignore her.

If she goes through your mail, so what? do you know, for sure, that anything of ANY value was taken from your mail? Nope.

Let it go.

Don't let her live in your head. She is living there rent free. Kick her out. No notice. Just ignore her. It is a hard thing, but you can do it. Practice it. You can be cheerful and forbidding. First skill, keep moving when she is talking, don't slow down. Greet her 'hello' and nod and answer with 'have a nice day'

She will lose interest and leave you alone.
 

VonBonfire

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This is why I bought acreage in rural Texas. I don't even have my address visible from the street and the mailbox is at the main roadway with about 25 other boxes. There are a couple Wandas on my street but I've never met them because I have a gate. As old Larry Marble from down on the farm radio is often heard saying: "Good fences make good neighbors".

I can rip a twin at 3am or rap out a set of pipes all night. Do donuts in the driveway or throw a kegger with fifty automobiles. No one gives a crap. Yeah my taxes are a little higher with property but it saves on the counseling bill!
 

Duck Herder

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Maybe I should have mentioned the mother and son earlier.
The son, who lives across from me is paranoid schizophrenic
Wait until he learns that no matter how still and quiet he is during your practice, the Telecaster is screening his brain and his plot to 'silence the guitar' will soon be revealed to the world if he doesn't act quickly.
So, 'What's the Frequency, Kenneth?'
 

bobio

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Which planet do you reccomend? :D

There are still places on this one, I don't have a nosey neighbor in sight 😆
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kylejf90

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Tell the landlady, tell the cops. If she's snooping through people's mail, that's kind of a big deal. She's not just being a bad neighbor, she's breaking the law, and given that she told you she doesn't care that she's breaking the law tells you something about her character. Nice guys do the right thing, and the right thing is blowing the whistle on her.
 

DugT

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This woman admitted to the OP that she has removed mail from his mailbox, sorted through it, and kept mail that was not addressed to his name. She is not an employee of the USPS so she has no legal right to pull the mail out and sort through it. She has admitted to committing a federal crime.
It is illegal to steal mail from a mailbox. The OP has no evidence that the witch stole mail from his mailbox. She admitted to taking misdelivered mail from his mailbox. That is not stealing mail. She is probably looking for her lost important mail, like a welfare check, and correctly delivering mail that didn't belong in the OPs mailbox. I wonder what the OPs therapist has to say about this anxiety issue?
 
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