When should I stop being a nice guy?

[tery]

Nice guys finish last - but they finish.

 

[catdaddy]

I agree, describing her doesn't help but I do have some manners. I wouldn't describe her that was to anyone but you guys and another guitar forum. In truth, I only put that in there for commit relief but to also give you a mental picture of who I am dealing with.

From a writer's perspective, I thought your description of the woman was insightful as a storytelling technique. Helped me visualize the scene and give me a better perspective for what you're dealing with.

As for what to do, I feel that the P.O. box solution would be best. It's pretty clear that this woman has a toxic personality and perhaps more serious pathological tendencies. After you confronted her about stealing mail, anything you do with regard to altering your mailbox will likely be viewed by her as an attack upon her. My guess is that she would then be bent on retaliation, and since she has been an annoyance to you in the past this would likely recur and escalate. You already know she's willing to unrepentantly break the law, who can say what else she's capable of doing. Getting a P.O. box is something you can do without her knowledge, and consequently without provoking her which is probably best for you.

 

[JSMac]

edit for double post.

 

[JSMac]

She sounds like a real charmer. Pics or it didn’t happen.

 

[Fiesta Red]

The rattlesnake idea is intriguing, but…a rattlesnake bit my sister-in-law last summer, and after a long, torturous week filled with agony and feverish delusions, the snake finally died…
The sister-in-law continued eating her third box of twinkies (third that morning) and commented she thought a mosquito had bitten her.

Seriously, though…turn her in to the landlady and the post office…and put a black mamba (not a rattle snake) in there—it’s more likely to survive the encounter.

 

[Happy Enchilada]

Years back my oldest boy and I studied wing chung kung fu for about 5 years. One of the things our Sifu taught that sticks in my mind every day is the hierarchy of response to conflict. There are 7 levels:

AVOID
RESOLVE
CONTROL
HURT (bruise soft tissue)
MAIM (separate muscle from bone)
CRIPPLE (break bone)
KILL

The lower on the scale you can go to respond to the conflict, the better you are at life. The lowest level is "avoid," so with that in mind, I would get a PO BOX as you yourself thought of as a good solution. Failing that, you could throw her into a body of water and see if she sinks ...

 

[39martind18]

Living in close proximity to a bunch of renters and nobody complains about Telecasters being too loud, so that's a plus..

Yeah, a Tele and Twin at 3am might send a message, as long as the other tenants have been forewarned.

 

[Texicaster]

Oh man!

Thanks for confirming my RV life style is the way to go as opposed to renting or even owning in the wrong neighborhood!

Most RV'ers "get it" and I can't recall an annoying one next to me but if so I generally only stay a month at a time before I move on...restless spirit!

My secret weapon for annoying neighbors was Cap't Beefheart "Troutmask Replica" on 11! They never knew what hit 'em!

 

[FuncleManson]

Her behavior, as described, is unacceptable. But I'm not really sure why her physical appearance, with which you led, is relevant.

 

[johnny k]

Your mailbox doesn't have a lock on it ? I think it is mandatory here. If your mailbox won't lock or is broken, the postman won't put anything in it.

 

[Ronzo]

I see 4 choices, you choose the one you want:

1. Replace the mailbox with a security style box that locks with a key
2. Get a PO Box at the post office
3. Report it to the Postmaster and let them contact the crazy lady...Postal Inspectors can be very aggressive
4. Start mailing yourself books on how to kill people and hope she gets the message.

I see your best response as being both choices 2 & 3. And, as @JL_LI stated, I concur that you should consider moving, if possible.

 

[Toto'sDad]

Thank you very much for the very entertaining post. I also enjoyed reading the responses to your post. I think you have the basis for a sitcom television show here if you can get someone interested in it beyond this forum. At the very least you have provided me with a good chuckle.

 

[GeneB]

I suspect that any escalation to authorities would result in more snack bar rumors. A PO box is safer but may still inspire her to retaliate at the counseling center. If you go either way (lock or report) be prepared to move on in the future if that be the case.

 

[uriah1]

She does sound mentally ill so there is not much you can do except perhaps talk
to social worker in your town someday.

 

[studio1087]

Why would your landlord be in trouble if you had a locking mailbox? I don't understand. Your neighbor sounds like she's not all there.

 

[bobio]

Honestly, I would move. Life is too short to deal with ignorant people every day.

 

[Vibroluxer]

Yeah, a Tele and Twin at 3am might send a message, as long as the other tenants have been forewarned.

Well sadly they won't care. Remember I said in the OP that we have 5 apartments here? Well I obviously live in one, Wanda the Witch resides in one and both the witches mother and son live here too.

Right now I am planning on getting a Po box but I gonna ask witchy poo to pay for it. I'm also going to put a warning label from the post office on the mailbox and lastly talk with the postmaster tomorrow.

Thanks to everyone that pitched an idea and for the general conversation. If you have others, I'm ready to read them.

 

[Vibroluxer]

Why would your landlord be in trouble if you had a locking mailbox? I don't understand. Your neighbor sounds like she's not all there.

Ya, I understand what you are saying. I probably wasn't clear. If the landlady sees a new mailbox, she's gonna ask me why and I'll tell her the truth. 9nce the landlady finds out, Wanda will be evicted.

 

[Wally]

You go to counseling so apparently life is challenging you. "She's about 60, most would call her fat, she has no teeth and won't wear dentures. She has swelling in her lags but won't take lasix. She has long grey hair and a beard that would be the envy of many a lumberjack. She's stupid." It sounds like life is challenging her too. A little empathy is in order here. You don't want to become her enemy. She has nothing to loose.

By the way, if I want to know if the mailman has delivered on my block, I check my neighbors mail boxes. I doubt if it is against the law to peek inside someone elses mailbox to see if any mail has been delivered.

This woman admitted to the OP that she has removed mail from his mailbox, sorted through it, and kept mail that was not addressed to his name. She is not an employee of the USPS so she has no legal right to pull the mail out and sort through it. She has admitted to committing a federal crime.

 

[memorex]

I would start spreading the rumor to your neighbors and your couseling group that you have actually seen this woman turn into a bat at night and fly away.