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When I Was In The Military... Tell Me Some Cool Stories

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Torren61, Nov 16, 2020.

  1. Sotakoira Musti

    Sotakoira Musti Tele-Afflicted

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    I could write an A4 sheet or two or three about ”when I’m still am in the military” and what has happened. But that wouldn’t be so exciting, so I’ll just let it be.

    Got conscripted 1996 and haven’t done even single day of honest job ever since. Got 13,5 years left until retirement.
     
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  2. duzie

    duzie Tele-Holic

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    After a few weeks long training exercise we would head to the wash racks with our vehicles.
    I’m my haste to get back to the barracks I quickly cleaned our vehicle and towed gun .
    When I arrived at the motor pool I found the firehose sized hose dangling from the vehicle.
    I wonder if I left a snapped of hose spraying water everywhere when I left :lol:
     
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  3. Coloradotwanger

    Coloradotwanger Tele-Meister Silver Supporter

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    Being prior US ARMY(Operation Just Cause and Operation Desert Shield/Desert Storm) and being an Air Force Colonel's son,i have a lot of stories.
    But i have something else i want to say this morning.Yesterday I was at the store and saw a guy with a 'fake' US ARMY uniform on.He also was waaaaaayyyyyy to young to be an E-7.I also saw a few years ago a guy in a 'real' US Army 0-3 uniform.This uniform was all kinds of jacked up!Everything was out of place.He even had US NAVY rank on it.Not US ARMY rank.This guy was a total PX Ranger.That was at a packed DMV.He used his Stolen Valor to get to the front of the line.In my younger days i would confronted them and see how fast they try to get back to their car.Now i just stare at them and they know exactly why i am staring at them.Whatever.
     
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2020
  4. JeffBlue

    JeffBlue Tele-Afflicted

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    I was in the Air Force years back as an aircraft mechanic/3rd wipe. One day we were launching a B-52 and I am in front of the plane signaling the plane toward the runway when all of a sudden the right tip gear went sideways which means the tip gear is no longer rolling. Smoke was billowing off of the rubber on the tip gear tire and the plane was fully loaded with fuel, including the outboard tanks.

    The plane had made the turn and the angle of the wings meant that the pilot and co-pilot cannot see the smoke. I'm running along side the plane trying to get the attention of the co-pilot to get him to alert the pilot. Everyone else is panicking on the ground and some are evacuating thinking at any moment the tip gear is going to catch on fire and ignite the jet fuel and the plane blowing up. I was unable to keep up with the plane and fortunately the tip gear righted itself. huge sigh of relief.

    Once had a B-52 come in for a landing when two tires had a blowout.
     
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2020
  5. telleutelleme

    telleutelleme Telefied Silver Supporter

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    Because of my last post here I got to thinking about my A/C and friend JJ. He taught me to play first position cowboy chords so I thought I would post this story.

    We were at the "airport" outside Kano, Nigeria in support of Gemini 10 with Navy divers and gear to air drop in case the capsule came in off West Africa. We were to stay there from 5 days before launch until recovery. JJ was a Hillbilly from North Carolina and carried a 54 Southern Jumbo every where we traveled. He would sing and play Hank Snow, Earnest Tubb and Roy Acuff songs while we were stopped offloading and loading cargo.

    In Kano, we stayed in tents or in my case on top of the plane and ate C-rations and whatever we could get the local liaison to bring us from the airport or town. There was a village nearby and when they heard JJ start up playing some came to watch. These were the Hausa people with a rich and somewhat violent history. The problem was each night the crowd would get bigger and they wanted him to play more. By the 3rd night there were a lot of them and he was getting tired and had resorted to songs he was making up or were risque versions of songs like Red River Valley that can't be repeated here. It was a great time and I can picture him sitting on the ramp of the C-130 with that SJ and belting out Blue Eyed Elaine to all those villagers.

    We all mentioned that we should have charged a goat and extra wives for him. He usually had a couple-word answer to these comments.
     
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  6. johnny k

    johnny k Poster Extraordinaire

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    I love to read them.


    This guy makes me think i must have been missing out on the service militaire.
     
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  7. joealso

    joealso Tele-Holic

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    My dad led an army artillery unit in WWII. Battle of the Bulge. Two Bronze Stars / Oak Leaf Cluster. As things were winding down, the end of the war almost at hand, his unit captured a German officer's Mercedes Benz and they had fun joyriding in it for a day or 2 until someone rode up to them in a Jeep. Apparently word of the Benz had gotten out and someone up the chain wanted it. My dad was told to get the car cleaned up and ready for someone to pick it up the next day.

    Instead, he drove the car to a nearby farm. He asked the farmer if he had a son in the war. He did. My dad asked the farmer if his son might like a German officer's Mercedes Benz when he got home. Of course he would. My dad explained that his men had been living on army rations for quite some time and proposed a trade for one of the farmer's cows. Fresh steak!

    Every once in a while I have a "bad day" and then I think about what a bad day for him would have been like. In a foxhole, in the winter, with people shooting at him. Always puts my "bad day" in perspective.
     
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  8. Sparky2

    Sparky2 Friend of Leo's

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    A true story from the time I went for my induction physical, prior to joining up.


    When I went to the Armed Forces Entrance and Examination Station (AFEES), way back in the late 1970's, it was a time for show and tell.

    Dope-Smoking Army Medic: Ever have any pain in your knees, joints, tendons, or upper thoracic connective tissues?

    Me: Huh?

    Dope-Smoking Army Medic: Do you have any pain in your knees or back?

    Me: Uh, no.

    Dope-Smoking Army Medic: Do you suffer from piles, hemorrhoids, gangliated anal fistulas, or aberrant rectal polyps?

    Me: I’m scared now. Anyway, no.

    Dope-Smoking Army Medic: Have you ever smoked marijuana?

    Me: You mean this week?

    Dope-Smoking Army Medic: Just say NO.

    Me: No.

    Dope-Smoking Army Medic: Do you have any unusual moles, warts, birthmarks, or scars?

    Me: Well, (lifting shirt) I do have this weird little thing on my ribcage, underneath my left breast.

    Dope-Smoking Army Medic: (Pales, almost faints) Holy S#%t. (Shouts) Doctor!!

    Me: What? What is it? (Worried now)

    Army Doctor: What is it, Corpsman?

    Dope-Smoking Army Medic: Sir, check this sh1t out.

    Army Doctor: Holy Moly, it’s a Tri- Polythelian-Occultus Mega-rarus!!

    Me: W-what’s that?

    Army Doctor: Son, you’ve got the Third Nipple of Scaramanga! A vestigial extra nipple, often considered very dark juju in the occult cultures of Southern Louisiana, Trinidad, Jamaica, and the US Virgin Islands.

    Me: Is it fatal?

    Army Doctor: No, no, no. In fact it’s positively magical!
    Johnson?

    Dope-Smoking Army Medic: Yessir?

    Army Doctor: Begin processing the DA Form 8977-1R, Recommendation For Disqualification From Military Service!!

    Me: Wait, wait! Don’t do that, I want to join the Army and become a helicopter pilot!

    Dope-Smoking Army Medic: We can’t let you do that!!

    Army Doctor: Yeah. It wouldn’t be medically-unethical. Besides, you’d have an unfair advantage.

    Me: What do you mean?

    Army Doctor: Look, you would have a leg-up on everybody else. That third nipple would become the dark source of your terrible, unwieldy power. You would live a charmed life. You would pass all your check-rides. You would become a revered and reviled aviator. You would get all the cush-assignments. Promotions would come easy, and often. Your engine would never quit. You will be able to drink like a fish, but you will never get a DUI. You would be a popular and well-liked guy, in spite of all your faults. Women would want you. Men would want to BE you!!

    Me: What’s wrong with that? (Instinctively waves hand in front of doctor’s face, in a fashion reminiscent of Obi Wan Kenobi)

    Dope-Smoking Medic: Yeah, what’s wrong with that?

    Army Doctor: Yeah. (Stares blankly for a moment) What is wrong with that?
    Johnson!

    Dope-Smoking Army Medic: Yessir?

    Army Doctor: Begin processing the DA Form 8969-2, Recommendation For Accelerated Admission Into The Helicopter Pilot Program!!

    Me: Cool!!

    :)

    [​IMG]
     
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  9. John_B

    John_B Tele-Meister

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    What... no gas chamber stories from basic? Once was enough for me.

    You could not pay me a million dollars to serve again in a Field Artillery targeting the East Block and the Soviets with 30' Pershing nuclear missiles. You could not pay me a million dollars for my experiences and memories either.

    My 2.5 years in Germany in the 1970's was the hardest 2.5 years of my single young life but it was also the best. Worked hard, played and traveled hard. I was not narrow minded when I came home.
     
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  10. johnnycnote

    johnnycnote Tele-Meister

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    First day out of basic. Went out and got drunk with a bunch of guys that where also waiting for orders out of Lackland. Stumbled back to the barracks around 2am and went to bed only to be woken up a few minutes later by some drunk dude pissing on me. Welcome to the Air Force!
     
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  11. KWal

    KWal Tele-Meister

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    Although trained as an 11B (Infantryman), I spent my enlistment in the 3rd U.S. Infantry, The Old Guard. In addition to continuous training in ways of war, we were also tasked with ceremonial duties. Cordon for foreign dignitaries at The White House, Pentagon, U.S. Capital, Full-honor funerals within Arlington National Cemetary as well as various public cemeteries around the Nations Capital, parades, pageants, and sentry duty at The Tomb of The Unknown Soldier.

    I've a plethora of tales of things I've witnessed while I served. Where to start? I was a Firing Party Commander (think 21 gun salute) for a Full-honor funeral out in Maryland one Spring afternoon. As was the norm, upon arrival to the site (hours before the funeral), the NCOIC and I scope out the grave site in order to locate the firing party. As expected at that time of year, the ground was fairly soft from recent rains, so we make a note so as to pick our route carefully to avoid the mud and standing water as best as possible - we were also tasked with carrying the deceased's casket from the hearse to the grave site as well as folding the flag and presenting it to the next of kin.
    As time progresses, we take our places and start the somber ceremony. The family arrives with the deceased, we escort the fallen to their final resting spot, and the ceremony begins... all is right with the World. We, as the Firing Party, have a front row seat roughly thirty yards from graveside within full view of family and loved ones for the somber occasion (for which we have trained and performed hundreds if not thousands of times). Finally, we reach the point of the ceremony where it is time to fire the salute (we used M1a1/M-14s and blank ammunition - not exactly quiet). I give my "Make-ready!" command, solders face and come to Port-arms. "Take Aim!", up come the rifles... "Fire!!!" A crisp rifle salute from seven 7.62 rifles sounds. At this point, through a combination of soft ground due to recent rains, sheer surprise, and age, an elderly, grandmotherly woman in the front row grave side tips over backwards in her metal folding chair, legs akimbo, landing on her back on the ground. A young man in his twenties jumps up and screams, "OH MY GOD!!! THEY SHOT GRANDMA!!!".


    It was at this point that I thanked the Training Gods for giving us the presence of mind and where-with-all to continue with the remaining vollies and subsequent ceremony.

    It was one of probably a thousand funerals that I was a part of, but it always sticks out in my mind as one of the most memorable.

    But wait! There's more!
    For another time.
     
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  12. Beachbum

    Beachbum Friend of Leo's

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    So it's the winter of 68 and a flu is ravaging Great Lakes Naval Training Station. Sick bay is handing out tangerine flavored cough syrup by the bushel basket no questions asked. I'm sitting on my rack and see this guy pouring it into his ear so I holler what in the Hell are you doing you're supposed to swallow that stuff for your cough. He gives me this bewildered look and says cough? I told them I had an ear ache.:rolleyes:
     
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  13. Steerforth

    Steerforth Friend of Leo's

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    The interesting stories from my military career are usually met with horrified silence and glassy-eyed stares by the few people who have ever heard them outside of the military, and even by some military personnel.

    And to be honest, I tend to shove those memories to the back of my mind and do my best to ignore them.

    And aside from those stories, the rest of it was pretty routine.

    I did have an interesting career. Sometimes it seems like a great adventure in my mind. Other times it seems like a nightmare. I guess it depends on which way the wind is blowing on a particular day.

    But, after all is said and done, here I am, still breathing, somewhat worse for the wear, but still mostly functional, ambulatory, and in possession of all my original parts.

    So I guess I can’t complain. Things could have been worse.
     
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  14. bigbean

    bigbean Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

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    I'm the age that when I met a group of men of similar age 20 or 30 years ago, I would sometime get a once over and asked "What outfit."
    My true answer was and is "I was not called and I did not volunteer."

    Since this is a light hearted thread. I'll tell you the true story of my fellow guitarist friend Tim.

    Although Tim was an American citizen living in Canton Ohio he had been born in Sweden. When he was drafted in 1966 instead of reporting he went to Sweden and claimed Swedish citizenship.

    Within a year he got drafted into the Swedish Army and spent the next fourteen months above the artic circle, alone in a small shack that was a weather station eating crappy canned food and trying to keep warm. Sort of, out of the frying pan/into the freezer.

    He later married a girl from Sweden and as far as I know is still there. I haven't seen him since about 1972. Back then he was a pretty good folk style finger picker with a nice clear voice. The last time I saw him he was a working musician and wood worker in Sweden.
     
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  15. Torren61

    Torren61 Poster Extraordinaire Gold Supporter

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    I'm sorry. I really had to go...
     
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  16. Torren61

    Torren61 Poster Extraordinaire Gold Supporter

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    I was stationed at Carswell AFB in Ft. Worth, TX. The B-52s would do a training exercise called "touch and go". It's where they take off, make a big circle, come down and touch the runway and take of again... and again... and again. This goes on for hours.

    There's a place that is a mesa near the runway where people go to watch the B-52s doing this. It's nicknamed "Inspiration Point".

    I was up there, sitting in my fellow airman and buddy's MGB (no, not making out, lol) drinking beer and smoking an, er "cigarette". It was nighttime and he had just cracked a new beer. His window was down about two inches. He takes the bottle cap in his left hand and gives it a toss to go out the window and, in a singular motion, then quickly places his hand on top of his left thigh with his palm facing up. The thing is, he missed the window opening and the bottle cap hit the top of the lowered window glass, deflected up and hit a brace in the convertible roof, ricocheted down to the steering wheel and bounced into his upwardly turned palm where it rested. I mean this took like two and a half seconds.

    I had inhaled and held a puff and witnessed the whole thing and without missing a beat, I croaked out "Do that again, man..."
     
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  17. Rick330man

    Rick330man Tele-Afflicted

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    My dad was a psychiatrist in the U.S. army during the height of the Vietnam war. His active duty ran from 1969 to 1971. Later, when he had his private practice he would treat fellow vets for free out of a sense of brotherhood. I worked in his office in high school and college. That exposed me to a lot of information.

    I'll just say that I have nothing but unlimited respect for U.S. troops that served in Vietnam.
     
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  18. KWal

    KWal Tele-Meister

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    ...and then there was the time that our casket team leader slipped as we were carrying the casket to the graveside. Voop! Down he went... into the freshly dug grave... in full view of the family. We braced ourselves, placed the casket in position and proceeded according to SOP. Folded the flag, presented it to the next of kin and marched off. All with Corporal "D" standing in the grave.
    We waited until the last of the family left and then held the casket out of the way while the grounds crew helped our comrade out of the hole. He was not a happy camper.
     
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