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When I Was In The Military... Tell Me Some Cool Stories

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Torren61, Nov 16, 2020.

  1. Torren61

    Torren61 Poster Extraordinaire Gold Supporter

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    But keep them R-rated or less. This is a family show.

    So I painted B-52s and we used to get paint all over our uniforms and boots. There was no way to get around it (except wear a paint suit which none of us did). Every month we'd get an inspection by the Master Sgt. It was inspection day and my boots had a lot of camo paint color dribblings all over them so I'm gonna be a smart azz and make everybody laugh.

    I get some black paint and I paint the heck out of these boots. I covered up all the camo colors and get in formation. Only thing is, THIS day we get inspected by a Major. Aww man...

    He's going down the line of people until he gets to me. He's standing in front of me and he checks my hat and the cut of my hair and works his way down my uniform until he gets to my boots, which don't look like everyone else's camo paint colored boots. He stops and looks at those boots another three or four seconds which seems like an eternity.

    He looks up at me and says "Wow, that's a really good shine on those boots!" and keeps going. I said, in my head of course, "Well they oughta be shiny, I just painted them ten minutes ago!".

    Carswell AFB, Ft. Worth TX
     
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  2. Fretting out

    Fretting out Poster Extraordinaire

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    I don’t have a story just wanted to stop by and say how classic yours is

    Reminds me of a story Joe Walsh tells about he and John Belushi going to a fancy restaurant and not having black pants to get in so they spray painted the ones they were wearing
     
  3. esseff

    esseff Tele-Afflicted

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    Royal Air Force. Back in the '70s the section telephones had a metallized sticker below the dialler that said:

    Warning - Speech On This Telephone Is Not Secure.


    Some disenchanted airman had scratched out a couple of letters so that it read:

    Warning - Speech On This Telephone Is Not Secure.
     
  4. Cesspit

    Cesspit Tele-Holic

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    The 'class' system was alive and well in the RAF during the 70s.

    Every year the Squadrons would have an evening 'bash' or dinner come booze up and invites were posted around the camp. It usually read

    '39 Sqdn cordially invites,;
    Officers and their ladies
    NCOs and their wives
    Other ranks and their women

    The good old days eh..........
     
  5. Tonetele

    Tonetele Poster Extraordinaire

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    A lot of "bastardry " in the upper ranks when I was an "officer in training" at a military officers base.
    Old blokes expecting you to get out of "their" leather chair so they could read their morning paper.
    I admired their constitutional walks and real regularity but they were mongrels who pushed any subordinate around in a psychological way. Most had no real understanding of modern changes, in the 70s GPS and other modern equipment.
    Still, I have to respect them, they were the blokes who served in Singapore etc. and 1942 was a rough year for all areas.
     
  6. Tarkus60

    Tarkus60 Tele-Meister

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    Oh this one night on BC street in Okinawa oh wait a minute.......
     
  7. johnny k

    johnny k Poster Extraordinaire

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    Didn't do the miltary.
    I did 1 day in which you were given different exercices. In one of them, you had a tv guide, and the question was if i watch Dallas in its entirery, can i still watch the france / canada hockey game and not miss the beginning ?
     
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  8. telleutelleme

    telleutelleme Telefied Silver Supporter

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    I was stationed at Dyess AFB, Abilene Texas in 1965/66 for training on C-130's. Several of us went to Mardi Gras had a great time and on the way back we stopped at the Alligator/Snake Farm between New Orleans and Baton Rouge. At that time you could buy baby Alligators and we did and took it back to Dyess. We had 4 man rooms in the barracks with a shared shower and toilet between each pair of rooms. We put the little dude in a pan in the shower, fed him/her raw hamburger and it was doing well and was sort of a mascot for a couple weeks. We named it Propwash.

    Then we had a surprise inspection by the squadron commander and first sergeant. Went pretty well until they checked the bathroom and opened the shower curtain. Needless to say we were told that the USAF was not a Zoo (haha) and we had a day to get rid of the pet. One of the guys decided he would send it to his brother in Nebraska as they had a big pond on their property. For 17 and 18 YO kids it seemed like a good idea. We wrapped it in wet cloth, put it in newspaper in a box and mailed it to Nebraska. How it survived I don't know but it made it. Apparently it lasted through the rest of 1966 but supposedly didn't make it the frozen pond over the winter.
     
  9. 985plowboy

    985plowboy Friend of Leo's

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    Company range fire at Fort Polk Louisiana.
    There was a crow sitting in the limbs of an old dead tree off to one side of the range.
    “Rotate your selector switch from safe to semi.... commence firing”.
    20 guys shot.
    No targets fell.
    But the crow did, in a puffball of black feathers.
     
  10. uriah1

    uriah1 Telefied Gold Supporter

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    Went out on a SAR in the middle of the night to a rescue 15 miles out.
    Took a long time to get there taking 15ft swells all the way in our 41.Only
    3 of us in wheel house going up and down. Counting going down
    to empty air 1,2 and hit. On of them we were counting the way down
    and counted 1,2,3,4 oh crap....must have been a 40 footer..whack,,everyone
    went flying and hit the ceiling of the wheel house. Well we made it
    but, that was interesting..lol...
     
  11. glenlivet

    glenlivet Tele-Afflicted

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    --what happens on Oki stays on Oki.....
     
  12. bgmacaw

    bgmacaw Poster Extraordinaire

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    One of my most satisfying moments was when I was in USMC Officer Candidate School. I was the designated candidate platoon leader for the week and I had it pretty rough from the trainers all week, especially our platoon sergeant, a grizzled former DI gunny. We had a class on the M-16 rifle with the whole company and, of course, there was a competition to see which candidate platoon leader could disassemble and reassemble the rifle the fastest. As you can guess, the platoon sergeants were in our faces yelling while we did it. I think the assumption was that we would be clueless and would give them an excuse to yell and berate even more. What my sergeant didn't know was that I had prior experience with the rifle and I was able to quickly perform the task while others struggled. The look on his face was priceless and he left the training room, clearly quite annoyed he wasn't going to get to yell at me more.
     
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  13. Old Deaf Roadie

    Old Deaf Roadie Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    I was a Naval Aircrewman. I shy from telling my stories to those who have never served because they don't believe them. These stories revolve around 1) hydroplaning sideways down the runway in Bermuda when we had no business shooting approaches, 2) fires & engine failures in flight, 3) fights/brawls of up to 20 people, 4) general drunkenness, 5) firing Harpoon missiles at the test range at St. Croix, 6) being fired on by anti-U.S. snipers at the main gate at Roosevelt Roads Naval Station & thanking the Marine gate guards for saving our lives, 7) marital improprieties with the wives of deployed sailors, and other varieties of stuff we thought was funny but yet frowned upon by most. Yeah, it was a pretty mundane 4 years...
     
  14. Uncle Daddy

    Uncle Daddy Tele-Afflicted

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    Although I didn't myself serve, my father, grandfather and uncles all did, one noteable one being my uncle Ron, who did 22 years in a tank regiment. At the end of WWii he came home to the UK with a new German bride. It turns out she was a pin up girl. Not any old pin up, but a Na#i pinup. My aunt was a Na#i pinup girl.
     
  15. Goldenshellback

    Goldenshellback Tele-Meister

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    I was a Quartermaster in the USN. A QM in the Navy is totally different than what other branches thought we were. We were navigators, stood watch on the bridge at the chart table and navigated the ship. So one midwatch underway, straight steaming from Singapore to Fremantle Australia I hear a voice from behind me asking were we are at. Not bothering to turn around I said “give or take 3 nautical miles right off Miami Beach. Then the voice behind me said great, I love Florida, I turned around and it was the Old Man, the Bosin’ Mate of the Watch did not announce “Captain on the Bridge” I was flabbergasted but the Captain was cool and we had a laugh as I showed our current plot along with our DR’s, current sea state, visibility, sea water injection temperature, cloud cover, along with anything else I could think off. The Old Man left the bridge and I announced Captain is off the Bridge and logged it in the ships log. Then I lit into the BMOW but the OOD, intervened and hauled him out on the starboard bridge wing and chewed his ass off. Needless to say the BMOW was assigned to a different watch section after that night.
     
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  16. John_B

    John_B Tele-Meister

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    One of our 2nd Lt's in Germany was a West Point grad. He was the designated Company Safety Officer. He rolled his corvette stingray in Switzerland while he was drunk (I was told). Our commander, a Major, brought him up before us in a formation and told us all about it. He had to now go thru the rehab training that he would have made any of us go thru if we had done such a thing. As a lowly Spec 4 (E-4), I thought this was hilarious.His grad Class was the one caught up in the big cheating scandal in the 1970's. He really was a swell guy, we both got along pretty good. He was protected. After a short time in a real Army Field Artillery Brigade, he was off to Belgium as a 4 star General's Aide. He also made 1st Lt. faster than any other 2 Lt. in our unit.

    I was hitch hiking back to Germany from Switzerland. I caught a ride to a tiny German town near the border that had a train track going thru it. I was told that I could by a ticket there for a train ride to Stuttgart. I was running out of time and had to get back to my unit. The small train platform was dead and closed up. I thought I was now stranded and had to walk to the Autobahn and ride my thumb again. A long train pulls up and all these French soldiers get off for a short stop over. I could tell by the sign on the train that they were going to Berlin and this train was heading in my direction. I identify the old white mustached commander and run up to him with my backpack and salute him. I tell him I was a G.I. near Stuttgart, I was AWOL and had to get back to Stuttgart ASAP. He allowed me to ride his train to my destination. I was proud of myself for thinking quick and pulling this off.

    I spent a week in Berlin near the end of my 2.5 years in Germany. I was awarded a one week Army History Tour of Berlin for a job well done. This totally floored me, I never knew of a funded Army History Tour. One day we cross Checkpoint Charlie into East Berlin, to see the major E. German & Soviet attractions. After viewing the Changing Of The Guard, our bus breaks down. It took the rest of the day for a repair crew to come over from W. Berlin and fix our bus. This freaked me out and scared the **** out of me. We were told to stay in groups of three while we were stuck in the East or we would never be seen again!
     
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2020
  17. uriah1

    uriah1 Telefied Gold Supporter

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    Loran and charts?
     
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  18. Preacher

    Preacher Friend of Leo's

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    My dad served on the USS Kearsarge in the Pacific during the heyday of NASA. He got to watch the astronauts get plucked from their capsule from his Weatherman position on the bridge of the ship.
     
  19. Bob Mc

    Bob Mc Friend of Leo's

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    Please accept this one on behalf of my Dad

    This is George Koshoil who was my dad's crew mate. This picture was taken at Dunkeswell England where they were stationed; their airwing group patrolled the English Channel hunting submarines leading up to D-Day.


    You guys are probably all familiar with the comic relief in movies like MASH where the supply sergeant can pretty much order anything imaginable by filling out just the right form? Twenty something year old kids, scared out of their minds one minute, and bored to tears the next looking for something to do, hence, the monkey. This photo cheers me up imaging the much needed distraction that monkey would/could of brought to their lives.

    And there are over a million things I'd ask my Dad if he were alive today; 'what happened to the monkey' among them.
     
  20. chulaivet1966

    chulaivet1966 Tele-Afflicted

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    Well....guess I can chime in with a brief, mildly humorous event in a land far, far away:

    Vietnam leaflet.jpg

    I uploaded this to a Vietnam war site to add to others for historical interest.
    Here's the caption:

    AMERICAN ARMYMEN!


    Marine Lance-corporal Wayne Evans was stationed in Vietnam from February 1966 to March 1967. He was a member of Whiskey Battery, 2nd Battalion of the 11th Marines attached to Battalion Landing Team (1st Battalion/5th Marines)which offloaded from the USS Princeton LPH-5 and set up a firebase about 12-15 miles northwest of Chu Lai on the west side of Highway 1 and did helicopter assaults from firebases Red Hill and Hill 35. He was wounded on 11 September 1966 at 0140 during a mortar and small arms attack on his perimeter security position. He brought back the above poorly printed leaflet which he found in a Viet Cong tunnel entrance on Operation Apache in June 1966.

    He says:
    "I was with my fire team and we came upon a tunnel within the village. I looked down the vertical entrance of the tunnel (about 3 feet) and could barely see the writing on this leaflet and it looked curious. After checking for booby traps I stepped into the tunnel entrance and bent down to look closer. As I bent down to retrieve the leaflet a tarantula the size of a Buick reared up it front legs to take me on. I'll never forget that event."
    (NOTE: the tarantula, like myself, lived to fight another day :))
    Here's the link....it's about half way down the page: http://www.psywarrior.com/VCLeafletsProp.html

    Carry on......

     
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