What's your stupid, short joke today??

[Thebluesman]

girl and boy drive out to a secluded spot.,...then make love on the grass.
girl- im going to tell my father you had sex with me 2 times!
boy-But i only did it once!!!!!!
Girl-Aren't you going to do it again then!!!!

 

[Thebluesman]

Prostitute- Are you looking for buisness???
Man- Nope..i'm happily self employed thanks!

 

[eclecticsynergy]

 

[Peter Graham]

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot

 

[Weazel]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I am a schizophrenic
And so am I

 

[Paul45]

Why could the French man only count up to seven?

Because he had a huit allergy.

 

[rexhunta]

What's brown and sticky ?

A stick.

 

[Spox]

What's brown and sticky ?

A stick.

Post #102 beat you to that one with a stick.

 

[rexhunta]

Post #102 beat you to that one with a stick.

Still my favourite, my 6 year old hates it lol.

 

[Stringbanger]

Where does Batman go when he has to pee?

The Batroom!

 

[nojazzhere]

What's brown and sticky ?

A stick.

Post #102 beat you to that one with a stick.

This is what happens when people don't bother to actually read the thread they're so eager to post to.

 

[Spox]

This is what happens when people don't bother to actually read the thread they're so eager to post to.

They meant well and appropriate compensation has been approved by our legal teams.

 

[nojazzhere]

They meant well and appropriate compensation has been approved by our legal teams.

It's not a criminal offense, or cause for shunning......but it IS a matter of showing respect.

 

[WRHB]

Where does Batman go when he has to pee?

The Batroom!

Does he take a bath in his bat tub?

 

[StoneH]

Less a joke and more a quote, also more sad than funny:

“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.”
—Groucho Marx

"Somebody hits me, I'm going to hit him back. Even if it does look like he hasn't eaten in a while".

Charles Barkley, after blatantly elbowing an Angolan basketball opponent in the Olympics

 

[Thebluesman]

newly married couple make love standing up next to an open window. In there ardour they fall out the open window.. land upon the sidewalk below and lie still embraced unconscious!
A drunk tramp walking down the street sees the couple lying there and proceeds to knock upon the nearest door...he is greeted by home owner
Home owner: What do you want?
drunk tramp; ''jussst informing you YOUR SIGNS FFFFFFALLEN DOWN!!!!''

 

[Matt Sarad]

Sven: I haven't talked to my wife for 3 days.​

Olaf: Well whys that?

Sven: I don't like to interrupt.

 

[Thebluesman]

a happy marriage secret.She talks..I LISTEN!!!!

 

[Thebluesman]

How do get get a woman out of bed?
Sneak a can of coke beneath the sheets and pour it slowly between you! then say' I needed that.
guaranteed SHE WILL get out of bed!!!

 

[Spox]

Guy goes to the doctor and says "every time I fart it sounds like Delilah" to which the doctor replies "it's not unusual."