What's your stupid, short joke today??


Friend of Leo's
Nov 16, 2014
Albany NY
Bob, a very wealthy 70-year-old widower, shows up at the County Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and sexy 25-year-old blonde. She hangs on to Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are all amazed. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, "Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?"

Bob replies, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"

"How in the world did you persuade a woman like that to marry you?"

"I lied about my age," Bob replies.

"What, did you tell her you were only 50?"

Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 95."

Matt Sarad

Apr 29, 2003
Buckers Field!

Social climber
Lida Junction​
May 14, 2019 - 11:32am PT

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Arlene: What in the hell is that?
Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Arlene: Where did you get it?
Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.
The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and
announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what size, texture, brand of condom she prefers.
'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
The pharmacist fainted.​