What would you do? (Dog care)

[Recce]

I had a situation where my dog came back from a sitter after a three day visit not doing well. They never saw my dog again.

 

[Skydog1010]

I would not go back
I would not explain anything to your friend
I would take my dog to a reputable vet and explain the day care explanations of their abuse of my dog.

I would drop a dime to the local SPCA about your supposed friend pet care antics.

I am concerned for your pet that you have ask a guitar forum for common sense pet care, that involves ABUSE.

If it was my pet, ghosting the "friend" would be the friend's least concern, actually if it was me, they would likely be looking to relocate to a different part of the country, after they got out of the hospital.

This scenario really upsets me.

 

[Happy Enchilada]

There are lots of places that will board dogs with satisfied customers.
No reason to put your fuzzy pal through this.
We went on vacation several years ago and a longtime trusted buddy who had done so before said he would come feed and water the dog and cat and take in the mail, etc.
We came back after a week and the dog was outside and the cat inside.
Where they had been unattended with no food or water for a week.
This in the hottest part of summer.
Dog died of a throat tumor within 6 months, probably due to eating sticks or whatever and being without water for a week.
Cat (who was my besty) contracted kidney disease shortly thereafter and I cried for months when we put him down.
I told the "friend" that this was inexcusable and haven't contacted him since.
A year or so ago I finally found another kitty to fill the hole in my heart.
First thing I did was get him a water fountain so he'd always have fresh water.
We play fetch. He frolics in the laundry and "helps me fold."
He sleeps in my lap in the recliner and at my feet in bed.
Dusty is my new besty.

 

[P Thought]

Jeepers. With friends like that, who needs a dog?

 

[Knows3Chords]

There are lots of places that will board dogs with satisfied customers.
No reason to put your fuzzy pal through this.
We went on vacation several years ago and a longtime trusted buddy who had done so before said he would come feed and water the dog and cat and take in the mail, etc.
We came back after a week and the dog was outside and the cat inside.
Where they had been unattended with no food or water for a week.
This in the hottest part of summer.
Dog died of a throat tumor within 6 months, probably due to eating sticks or whatever and being without water for a week.
Cat (who was my besty) contracted kidney disease shortly thereafter and I cried for months when we put him down.
I told the "friend" that this was inexcusable and haven't contacted him since.
A year or so ago I finally found another kitty to fill the hole in my heart.
First thing I did was get him a water fountain so he'd always have fresh water.
We play fetch. He frolics in the laundry and "helps me fold."
He sleeps in my lap in the recliner and at my feet in bed.
Dusty is my new besty.
View attachment 1125016

I don't know how you held your cool with that. I think me and that guy would have had a nice little "talk" if it were my pets. And by "talk", I don't mean talk.

 

[Happy Enchilada]

I don't know how you held your cool with that. I think me and that guy would have had a nice little "talk" if it were my pets. And by "talk", I don't mean talk.

I have hosted a poker game that he and his son were guests at for around 20 years.
I kicked him out. Best way to let him know what a d-bag he is.
And no assault charge for me, thanks.

 

[teleman1]

Say goodbye. They are crap compared to your dog. Their respect seems to have left the building.

 

[teleman1]

This friend wants to be a professional, then treat this situation that way. Time to fire, it will be good for your dog and it will be good for this friend to learn how to treat customers. It really sounds like this friend is taking you for granted which is never a good thing in any relationship, be it personal or professional.

Sounds like the guy has lost the foundations of life. He is lucky the OP didn't beat him senseless.

 

[24 track]

Harlo as smart as he is we decided to have him see a dog trainer to re-enforce what he had naturally , so we found some one locally and we went to meet them with Harlo, he stated he used an electric shock collar to train dogs . we never took Harlo back again.

the point is your dog has a communication with you as his alpha, and if he being miss treated or given inappropriate snacks that could affect his health and behavior, you need a change of venue, dogs need socialization , with humans and with other dogs or animals, thank your friend and call it a day , find a new care taker with some credentials , you are paying for this service , and its not a charity.
your decision, your money , your dog , but clearly you have reservations so follow your instincts.

 

[TheCheapGuitarist]

I am definitely of the belief that dogs are not people, and are nowhere near the level of people in importance.

However, I love dogs and humans eat a lot of crap that is bad for us, and equally if not more so bad for dogs. I mean, I would let my dog have one tortilla chip, one cookie, that kind of thing. But I wouldn't open a box of Captain Crunch in front of my dog and let him stick his head in there and clean it out.

 

[getbent]

You've gotten several indications that the care they provide is not what you want for your dog. But, the convenience kept you going to them. Now, you are faced with the equation reaching the point that you don't find the convenience to be the advantage.

I would say very little to the sitter beyond, 'hi, I have had some situations change and I won't be needing to bring the dog to you anymore. Thank you for your years of helping me with the dog, I appreciate it.'

Find a different person/place and move on. I also would not put in a yelp review or anything else. Just move on.

 

[Fendereedo]

I would not go back
I would not explain anything to your friend
I would take my dog to a reputable vet and explain the day care explanations of their abuse of my dog.

I would drop a dime to the local SPCA about your supposed friend pet care antics.

I am concerned for your pet that you have ask a guitar forum for common sense pet care, that involves ABUSE.

If it was my pet, ghosting the "friend" would be the friend's least concern, actually if it was me, they would likely be looking to relocate to a different part of the country, after they got out of the hospital.

This scenario really upsets me.

The whole scenario helps me understand why baseball bats are sold in sports equipment stores.

 

[srblue5]

Thanks everyone for your input, advice, and ideas. I appreciate it. I also apologize for not responding to this thread sooner. I find it easier to talk about music/guitars than a personal, sensitive situation like this and I also have been dealing with not only this situation but a few other personal things, so again, easier to escape by talking about GAS than what to do for my pup.

Interestingly, I finally got an answer about the bad grooming job about 2 weeks after I picked her up from the day-home people, saying that they had tried to get her into a professional groomer while I was away but couldn't because they were not the owners. So they tried to do the grooming themselves but did not have the appropriate equipment (shocking, I know) so it ended up how it did. I appreciated the explanation after all, but the fact that I got the explanation two weeks later (which always strikes me as suspicious -- why couldn't you explain that at the time when I flagged it?) and that it could have been easily dealt with with a single text while I was away ("Hey, we need to get your dog groomed. Phone and book her in with a professional and we'll take her there ourselves as long as you let them know we're looking after her". "Done." - Would've taken 5-10 minutes) kind of says it all about the level of care and treatment (or lack thereof) my dog and I are getting.

Interestingly also, the treat-giving seems to have stopped as my dog has not had an upset stomach since I returned (I have continued to take her to this day-home on the days I work on-call or late while searching for an alternative day care -- I've feigned illness or claimed to be working from home otherwise in the meantime). Maybe they realized how bad it actually was if they were getting woken up in the night for washroom breaks or cleaning up accidents while I was away.

It's sort of an easy solution but given that there was money exchanged and a (former?) friendship, I was torn as to whether it warranted a discussion first (as friends, even former ones) or even legal action (given the exchange of money, though I suspect not since there were no formal papers drawn up and I imagine it would be hard to prove all of this). There is the convenience factor and I guess a sense of denial that my dog is not getting proper care despite my (ex)friend's previous level of decent care.

I now have my dog booked in with a new daycare. Still trying to figure out ghosting vs. the simple "my-situation-has-changed-thank-you-for-your-service" statement.

Thanks again.

 

[watercaster]

I treat my dog like she was my child. Only the best of care and attention. Nuf said...

 

[Jim_in_PA]

I'm late to the party, and a new to being owned by a dog (in addition to our birds), but honestly, the disclosure of feeding human sweets would have had me stop the service right then and there. These things are not good for dogs and some of the are actually dangerous.

And I think that "my situation has changed" is a perfectly good way to address any question about why your doggo isn't seeing them anymore.

 

[carvingcode]

Honestly, I'm shocked you let it go on for so long when you clearly identified the problem. Happy your canine companion is getting better care. Peace.

 

[TheFuzzDog]

I've had a friend for a few years who has looked after my dog when I'm at work. We used to be neighbours and he's been saving up money towards opening a dog day care for years. He has three dogs of his own so I figured it would be good familiar company for my dog when I'm at work, especially when I have to work late hours or night shifts. I financially compensate him for looking after my dog at a rate similar to "professional" day cares, since fair is fair, he's trying to build a career in this, and especially since he lost his job during the pandemic (whereas I luckily and thankfully did not).

I've since moved to another neighbourhood but have continued to have this friend look after my dog. However, in the past year, his behaviours seem to have changed and my dog is being negatively impacted. She has regularly come home with upset stomachs (often waking me in the night to go outside to use the "washroom"), which is primarily due to his new common-law partner feeding the dogs human food/treats. I brought this up with them and they initially insisted I was feeding my dog inappropriate treats (which I pointed out was not possible, since I was giving my dog the same food and treats as before the stomach issues started and she does not have these issues on the days I'm home from work) before my friend's partner finally admitted to giving them human sweets (which he seemed rather forgiving and almost defensive of). This treat-giving has continued despite my repeated flagging of it. Again, they do not apologize or change their behaviour.

This morning, I got back from a 3-week overseas vacation during which my friend and his partner looked after my pup (again, fully compensated financially). When I picked her up, I saw that she was missing a ton of fur and looks like she had a grooming job done by someone on their first day of grooming school with two broken arms. I pointed out that she looks completely raggedy and the only answer I got was a rather defensive, "Yeah, well, we groomed and cut her hair." No prior mention/notice (even a text message) saying that they had to groom her and asking for permission or even giving a rationale. No apology. My dog also seems oddly low-key behaviourally since I brought her home, which I'm not sure is due to not having seen me for three weeks or because something else happened in my absence that I'm not being told. I smell a rat, to be honest.

Since the whole upset-stomach-inappropriate-treat things continued in spite of my concerns, I've been looking into an alternate day care service for my dog for at least half of my work week, both to see if there is a difference in my dog and to alleviate my stress that my dog is being inappropriately treated. However, since this morning, I'm seriously contemplating terminating my services with this friend (who I am now starting to doubt is just that) and finding another full-time day care for her.

In a situation like this, would you bring up these concerns with the "friend" before terminating services? Would you give another chance? I'm always leery of burning bridges but in this case, I'm feeling a little violated (for lack of a better word) by the unsolicited/unapproved hack grooming job (not to mention the other concerns from the past year or so).

You already brought up the issues, and they ignored you / were defensive about them. I would be done with them.

 

[Papanate]

In a situation like this, would you bring up these concerns with the "friend" before terminating services? Would you give another chance? I'm always leery of burning bridges but in this case, I'm feeling a little violated (for lack of a better word) by the unsolicited/unapproved hack grooming job (not to mention the other concerns from the past year or so).

Why is it even a question - dump him immediately and move on.

 

[Twofingerlou]

If you’re questioning “friends” in your life regarding them handling/taking care/or being involved/helping in your…. Kids, pets, house, cars or money time to write said friend off end of story.

 

[Flyboy]

I've had a friend for a few years who has looked after my dog when I'm at work. We used to be neighbours and he's been saving up money towards opening a dog day care for years. He has three dogs of his own so I figured it would be good familiar company for my dog when I'm at work, especially when I have to work late hours or night shifts. I financially compensate him for looking after my dog at a rate similar to "professional" day cares, since fair is fair, he's trying to build a career in this, and especially since he lost his job during the pandemic (whereas I luckily and thankfully did not).

I've since moved to another neighbourhood but have continued to have this friend look after my dog. However, in the past year, his behaviours seem to have changed and my dog is being negatively impacted. She has regularly come home with upset stomachs (often waking me in the night to go outside to use the "washroom"), which is primarily due to his new common-law partner feeding the dogs human food/treats. I brought this up with them and they initially insisted I was feeding my dog inappropriate treats (which I pointed out was not possible, since I was giving my dog the same food and treats as before the stomach issues started and she does not have these issues on the days I'm home from work) before my friend's partner finally admitted to giving them human sweets (which he seemed rather forgiving and almost defensive of). This treat-giving has continued despite my repeated flagging of it. Again, they do not apologize or change their behaviour.

This morning, I got back from a 3-week overseas vacation during which my friend and his partner looked after my pup (again, fully compensated financially). When I picked her up, I saw that she was missing a ton of fur and looks like she had a grooming job done by someone on their first day of grooming school with two broken arms. I pointed out that she looks completely raggedy and the only answer I got was a rather defensive, "Yeah, well, we groomed and cut her hair." No prior mention/notice (even a text message) saying that they had to groom her and asking for permission or even giving a rationale. No apology. My dog also seems oddly low-key behaviourally since I brought her home, which I'm not sure is due to not having seen me for three weeks or because something else happened in my absence that I'm not being told. I smell a rat, to be honest.

Since the whole upset-stomach-inappropriate-treat things continued in spite of my concerns, I've been looking into an alternate day care service for my dog for at least half of my work week, both to see if there is a difference in my dog and to alleviate my stress that my dog is being inappropriately treated. However, since this morning, I'm seriously contemplating terminating my services with this friend (who I am now starting to doubt is just that) and finding another full-time day care for her.

In a situation like this, would you bring up these concerns with the "friend" before terminating services? Would you give another chance? I'm always leery of burning bridges but in this case, I'm feeling a little violated (for lack of a better word) by the unsolicited/unapproved hack grooming job (not to mention the other concerns from the past year or so).

You owe them no explanations. Don't stoke anything that could turn into resentment and acrimony.