What is it about playing music that makes so many people promise to pitch in and then bail/get lazy?

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by RoscoeElegante, Aug 20, 2019.

  1. RoscoeElegante

    RoscoeElegante Friend of Leo's

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    Seriously. I've heard my share of "Sure, I'd love to's!" about all kinds of things. Community projects, pick-up games, helping coach Little League teams, you name it. I get that humans are talented b.s.-ers.

    But why does music seem to generate the biggest number of empty promises to jam, play, work out a song, learn a part, show up for rehearsal, tune the damn guitar before the song starts, not give up at the first frustration level, etc.?

    Are musicians more prone to big ambitions undermined by lousy work habits/an inability to keep one's word than other people are--or does music matter so much that you just notice these human flaws more when it comes to music-related promises and proclamations? Or both, or something else?
     
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  2. Larry F

    Larry F Doctor of Teleocity Vendor Member

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    The music needs to be rewarding enough to play. Also, it is difficult to match pro levels of ability and commitment with amateur levels. Different goals produce conflict and unpredictable behavior in amateur players.
     
  3. boredguy6060

    boredguy6060 Friend of Leo's

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    Mental discipline, memorization, organizing study habits, overcoming the frustration of dealing with dexterity issues that beginners face, even ridicule to some degree, delayed gratification.
    All these things add up to an unpleasant experience.
    Most people don’t want to invest today for a payoff that is in the distant future.
     
  4. zeedoctour

    zeedoctour Tele-Meister

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    I think the biggest hurdle is while we're talking about it, there's a nice feeling in identifying as a musician, with another musician. For a lot of folks, what they haven't gotten over yet ... is the fear (that they may not even realize or understand or know is occurring) that once they are "in the room" with the other musicians, they will be found out. Until players get over that stage (and by then they are probably reasonable players) they will let a lot of opportunities slip by. It's a big step to finally get that you're who you are and it isn't a competition. That's when you really make progress.
     
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  5. CalebAaron666

    CalebAaron666 Tele-Meister

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    Cuz people ain’t no good, and musicians are even worse.
     
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  6. Flat6Driver

    Flat6Driver Friend of Leo's

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    It’s in every discipline, hobby, activity. You just know it from music.
    Human nature.
    Hell, I eat alone often because some people can’t even organize getting together for lunch.
    After a while you tend to seek out people of you’re stripe or get people to folllow you’re lead because you have the discipline and follow through they want for themselves
     
  7. brookdalebill

    brookdalebill Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    Like with many things, I find that different people have different levels of commitment.
    I’m a working player, and I play with many non professional people who are very committed to working on their art.
    Many of these people are very dedicated to the recording, polishing, and performing of their music.
    Many, but not all of these folks hire me to help..
    I end up collaborating with them, and I greatly enjoy this process.
    Being dedicated to “the muse” myself, I find this very satisfying, and an antidote to the grind of doing covers for sustenance money.
    Blessedly, my “music life” is rich and varied, and I am grateful for that fact.
    I work to keep it that way by being cooperative/collaborative.
    Keep at it, you’ll eventually find like-minded people.
     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2019
  8. Sounds Good

    Sounds Good Tele-Holic

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    Yes i agree it hapens in alot of things other than music also, people think different as well some have very little ambition and others have more, although to much in some cases can be damaging to others and even oneself i believe.

    Also their is the reliabilitty factor some folk even though good are not very and some not so good are more so, maybe best to find folk you fit in with in most cases i have found.
     
  9. Guitarteach

    Guitarteach Poster Extraordinaire

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    It works when everyone has a thirst for it.

    People quit their bosses not their jobs, it’s no different in a band. Arrogance and ego can drive the less confident away.

    A good band leader for a semi pro or busy amateur outfit needs to be a good people manager. May be different person from the musical lead.
     
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  10. Chunkocaster

    Chunkocaster Poster Extraordinaire

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    I had a practice jam cancelled again today that has been in the pipeline for the past 4 years.:lol:
    I think this is the 11th time and it wasn't even rally cancelled. The drummer just didn't answer the phone for the two days we had planned to confirm and book the rehearsal space. Oh well maybe next time it will actually happen.:)

    I think it's just hard to get people on board with playing certain songs or types of music. I wont play songs I don't love playing and I find it hard to get people on board with the same taste in music. Others probably feel the same way or just want to play whatever they think the audience will be into. If the songs are too complicated they probably scare people off as they wont want to put the time in required to nail them if they don't love the songs themselves.
     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2019
  11. bcorig

    bcorig Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

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    Artists are often like that. High in creativity, low in conscientiousness.
     
  12. Marc Morfei

    Marc Morfei Tele-Holic

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    Yes.
    Plus, music is hard.
    And also: music is not immediately rewarding, like, I dunno, going to the movies or something. You need to put in a lot of work in order to get the reward. It’s not instant gratification.
     
  13. Sounds Good

    Sounds Good Tele-Holic

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    If i wanted to perform to my own standards and i think if i could find no folk, i would become a one man band and play my guitar and sing if need be, and the rest i would make my own backing tracks up.

    One may even get someone at the gig who wants to help out and join you playing bass, or drum or whatever, but at least it gives one a more stable platform to work from.
     
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  14. Buzzgrowl

    Buzzgrowl Tele-Meister

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    Because it takes a lot of effort to make it sound like not-crap. Most people who try, don't give it enough effort or persistence.

    Also, people like to BS but don't like to invest in practice. I have conceded that our cover band rehearsals will be song-learning as much as everything else. Half of the band refuses to organize themeselves to do homework. The singer refuses to accept thst he should try to memorize the lyrics. The drummer will not invest in a silent or "e" drum kit to practice at home or take lessons. But they are really great people and we have common musical and other cultural references. And we like making fun of each other.

    I've played with serious and accomplished pro musicians but often I've had difficulties getting along. I never showed it, but I felt as if all the accomodations (musical and attitude) were on my side.

    I don't think I will ever find the right mix of high musical aptitude and nice personalities in a band - that's just how life is and how people are.
     
  15. lowatter

    lowatter Tele-Meister

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    I gave up many years ago trying to get something seriously going. My 2 biggest hurdles are that I only play originals and my wife doesn't want me in a band. I want her happy and most musicians want to play covers.
     
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  16. 4pickupguy

    4pickupguy Poster Extraordinaire

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    Music is a great artistic endeavor but a lousy hobby.
    Most good art is very hard work and hobbies are supposed to be relaxing and fun.
    People commit to the fun and bail on the hard work.
    Some people can’t live without a musical outlet in their lives, some can. It takes a certain type of person to consider the hard work a fair price to play music. Only a few people I have met are willing to, after a hard days work at their day job, work on music. To them them the work IS part of the joy of making music.
     
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  17. Chunkocaster

    Chunkocaster Poster Extraordinaire

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    I'm considering taking singing lessons and just doing the solo acoustic thing. The money would be much better and you can pick and choose what you want to play without others letting you down or constantly offering up lame song selections.
    That's also a lot of work though too considering I struggle to play and sing badly at the same time at the moment.
     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2019
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  18. PlainAllman

    PlainAllman Tele-Meister

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    Are we talking about people here or drummers?:D
     
  19. nojazzhere

    nojazzhere Poster Extraordinaire

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    Nearly every reply here is dead on.....but I'd like to give a simple answer. Most musicians are "flaky". Not all, of course, but way too many. If an amateur, there are pressures of family, jobs, responsibilities.(and this doesn't mean someone is flaky for taking care of family, it just makes them flaky where a band is involved) If pro, there's always the need to make money and have a "plan" to book gigs.
    Finding others whose priorities line up is almost impossible....especially among "hobbiests", even serious ones. Next time your band gets together, look around at everyone.....can you spot the flake? Probably not, 'cause there has to be a "normal" person present to distinguish normal from flaky. Make sure there's a mirror in the room when you're looking, as well. ;)
     
    Last edited: Aug 20, 2019
  20. Whatizitman

    Whatizitman Friend of Leo's

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    Most musicians are not pros, and their musical goals may be more about leisure and social engagement. Sometimes too much structure and demands toward an end goal defeats their reasons for playing music.

    Not much different with other community/group activities (sports, civic, church, etc....)

    I have enough project deadlines and "priority" scheduling at work to last until I retire (if ever, that is. GenX, and all).

    If you don't want "slackers", go find pros to play with.
     
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