What is an unspoken rule about getting through society and life that annoys you when other people don't honor it?

Boxla

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The pros have a certain length of time to get off a shot. However, they have learned to use certain tactics to avoid conforming to the rules, and often seem to take forever. It seems to me, the slower the pros get, the slower the amateurs get. I think the locals just imitate the pros. I seldom take even one practice swing, I figure if I don't know how to play the shot by now, swinging the club one more time isn't going to help. I have seen guys take as many as TEN practice swings, then dub the shot. Not the guy who got me into golf, but a guy who actually taught me HOW to play golf, always said, MISS 'em quick, you might surprise yourself and hit a good one.
Toto's Dad, I absolutely agree about the practice swings. I fluctuate between a 4 and 9 handicap and have not taken a single practice swing in over 25 years. I don't even do practice putting strokes. Putting and chipping aside, I think practice strokes are unnecessary.

I will say though, that during the PGA Nationwide Tour years, I was out on that tour a lot as well as caddying for 10 years in the ATT Pebble Beach and the Memorial. I got to be good friends with several players and did a lot of up close observing from inside the ropes on pace of play because I have serious issues with it. It might be somewhat unknown to most but the vast majority of pros are extremely fast players. Many of them do no take practice swings or they take half swings. Most of them hit it fast and then walk to their ball very fast. But, like any golf course or highway, it only takes one or two slow pokes to slow down an entire course or highway. The PGA Tour has about 10 or so very slow players and they eff it up for the other players. Until the Tour starts assessing strokes instead of fines, it will never get better. I can tell you, with first hand knowledge, that all those slow players are despised by the rest of the field, they absolutely hate them.

That being said, the slowest elite golf I see comes from HS players and college. They are beyond slow. We typically set most courses at a pace of 4 hours to 4:15. I think it should be more like 3:45. 4 players, regardless of ability, should always get around in less than four hours every time even if carts on path only. So, when a group of 3 HS kids take 5 and a half hours to play 18 holes and each of them shoots a 74, it shows how slow they are.
 

Toto'sDad

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Toto's Dad, I absolutely agree about the practice swings. I fluctuate between a 4 and 9 handicap and have not taken a single practice swing in over 25 years. I don't even do practice putting strokes. Putting and chipping aside, I think practice strokes are unnecessary.

I will say though, that during the PGA Nationwide Tour years, I was out on that tour a lot as well as caddying for 10 years in the ATT Pebble Beach and the Memorial. I got to be good friends with several players and did a lot of up close observing from inside the ropes on pace of play because I have serious issues with it. It might be somewhat unknown to most but the vast majority of pros are extremely fast players. Many of them do no take practice swings or they take half swings. Most of them hit it fast and then walk to their ball very fast. But, like any golf course or highway, it only takes one or two slow pokes to slow down an entire course or highway. The PGA Tour has about 10 or so very slow players and they eff it up for the other players. Until the Tour starts assessing strokes instead of fines, it will never get better. I can tell you, with first hand knowledge, that all those slow players are despised by the rest of the field, they absolutely hate them.

That being said, the slowest elite golf I see comes from HS players and college. They are beyond slow. We typically set most courses at a pace of 4 hours to 4:15. I think it should be more like 3:45. 4 players, regardless of ability, should always get around in less than four hours every time even if carts on path only. So, when a group of 3 HS kids take 5 and a half hours to play 18 holes and each of them shoots a 74, it shows how slow they are.
I absolutely agree and could name all of the players that slow up play on the tour. Most play as you say quickly. The ones that are slow, are snails, and should be fined not a stroke, but four strokes. One good hit that could cost them a couple of hundred thousand dollars would build a fire under them and get 'em moving.
 

Boxla

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When we meet for the first time, please don't try to sell me on your character attributes. I'm fairly confident that if you're a good guy, I'll figure it out on my own.

"You know, I've always been the kind of guy who works my butt off, no matter what the task. Even if no one else is working. That's just who I am. And I'm all about integrity. Look, I'm always going to speak the truth even if it gets me in trouble. That's just how I was raised."
100%! I also steer clear of any tradesman, or other, who uses Jesus to advertise on the side of his painting truck. That same person will also be quick to tell you how honest they are and how Christian they are and after decades of closing observing this phenomenon, 100% of those people have turned out to be the biggest liars and shadeballs I encounter in business.

Same goes for employees who ask for favors, ask to borrow money, ask for this and ask for that-100% of the time, they will always be the first ones to stab you in the back and leave you high n dry. The employees who ask for nothing and simply show up and work their job everyday will turn out to be the most loyal greatest employees you have.

My deduction is, that in both groups, if you have the guts to use Jesus in your advertising or have no embarrassment of constantly asking for money or favors, then you simultaneously have no problem ripping people off or screwing people in the end. It all goes hand in hand.
 

chris m.

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Toto's Dad, I absolutely agree about the practice swings. I fluctuate between a 4 and 9 handicap and have not taken a single practice swing in over 25 years. I don't even do practice putting strokes. Putting and chipping aside, I think practice strokes are unnecessary.

I will say though, that during the PGA Nationwide Tour years, I was out on that tour a lot as well as caddying for 10 years in the ATT Pebble Beach and the Memorial. I got to be good friends with several players and did a lot of up close observing from inside the ropes on pace of play because I have serious issues with it. It might be somewhat unknown to most but the vast majority of pros are extremely fast players. Many of them do no take practice swings or they take half swings. Most of them hit it fast and then walk to their ball very fast. But, like any golf course or highway, it only takes one or two slow pokes to slow down an entire course or highway. The PGA Tour has about 10 or so very slow players and they eff it up for the other players. Until the Tour starts assessing strokes instead of fines, it will never get better. I can tell you, with first hand knowledge, that all those slow players are despised by the rest of the field, they absolutely hate them.

That being said, the slowest elite golf I see comes from HS players and college. They are beyond slow. We typically set most courses at a pace of 4 hours to 4:15. I think it should be more like 3:45. 4 players, regardless of ability, should always get around in less than four hours every time even if carts on path only. So, when a group of 3 HS kids take 5 and a half hours to play 18 holes and each of them shoots a 74, it shows how slow they are.
This causes a course to actually lose money. Maybe they should charge a four some a dollar a minute for time over four hours. That would quickly instill some urgency to moving things along.
 

buster poser

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People that blatantly run yellow lights that are basically red when they easily could have stopped.
You'd lose your mind here. It was bad on the east coast, but it's so bad here that everyone I know tells visiting friends and fam to check before they accelerate on a green light. I've nearly been clipped a couple of times when I've forgot that advice.
When we meet for the first time, please don't try to sell me on your character attributes. I'm fairly confident that if you're a good guy, I'll figure it out on my own.

"You know, I've always been the kind of guy who works my butt off, no matter what the task. Even if no one else is working. That's just who I am. And I'm all about integrity. Look, I'm always going to speak the truth even if it gets me in trouble. That's just how I was raised."
This is very good. Unless it's a job interview I always know someone is 100% full of crap when they have to sell me on who they are, especially if it's what a standup dude/duda they are. Show up on time, do what you commit to, don't be a jerk. The rest'll come out in time.

A corollary to this is people who love to offer me specific unsolicited advice based on their anecdotal outcomes, esp things related to finance or health. I've recently had to put some longtime friends in the "just xmas cards" strata for this reason.
 

telemnemonics

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I wasn’t clear enough, your last sentence is what I mean. I hate when I thank someone and they just repeat it with the added emphasis on ‘you.’ Feels like arguing about whose thanks mean more; just acknowledge the thanks like a normal person who isn’t trying to field a verbal serve back over the net.
I never did that and I guess regionally I've never noticed that as anything other than the very rare odd reply that does indeed sound argumentative.

But also I actually had to learn to say a simple Thank You in response to a compliment.
More because it felt prideful to say thank you and infer that I'm genuinely whatever the compliment stated.
Or it felt greedy/ unkind/ ungenerous to cosign the idea that my kindness I got thanked for, was somehow special and prize winning.

Similarly though I've too often subbed "no problem" instead of you're welcome when thanked for something that took no effort and cost me nothing.
Sort of felt that common courtesy should not require gratitude from the recipient, yet their saying thank you was no more effortless and cost free, so I should simply accept that being thanked for what should be universal common courtesy, is maybe exactly that, they respond with the common courtesy of a thank you without it being loaded with a debt or other hidden meaning.

Greeting styles are regional and I grew up in a small New England town frequented by travelers.
I've done stuff like seen an open hood on a car that won't start, and gave a quick jump start then left without any greeting, or hooked up a chain and pulled a car out of a ditch with no chit chat. New Englanders can be like that.
Almost feels cold if used to lots of reassuring gab one might encounter in The South.
So the kindness, if common courtesy, requires no compliment.
We just do that sort of thing, and kindness or love is shown more by actions than by words.

But because I was around lots on folks not from these parts, including my Mother, I found the whole social norms and manners thing to be pretty confusing.
Especially seeing very selfish and even unkind or mean people talking far more nice than locals, locals whose actions spoke at the same or lower volume, as the kind words of unkind people.

The kind words of unkind people?
Yeah that.
 

pixeljammer

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Charity is not giving away your refuse so you can feel good about yourself.

Charity is the sacrifice of some of what you need for someone that needs it more.

Someone once told a story about teaching his kids about fairness. He said to his young daughter, who had complained about her friend getting more ice cream than she

"The only reason you should look into someone else's bowl is to make sure that they have enough."
 

Jared Purdy

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What is an unspoken rule about getting through society and life that annoys you when other people don't honor it?

Like, you should let people know when you are on speakerphone.
or
If someone buys you dinner, don't complain about it.
or
When entering a house going to a party, don't block the front door area so people can get in
or
At an event, don't have your chit chat right in front of where the bartender is serving drinks...

what annoys you.... that people SHOULD know!
All of the above. Though, I can't say that I have ever been in a situation where either I was invited, or I invited someone out to dinner and I or they had the audacity to complain about the free meal. From your list, morons on speaker phone in a public place tops the list.
 

pixeljammer

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Or stop to talk to another shopper with your pair of carts blocking the aisle.

OR

If you come upon a couple of folks catching up in the aisle, take a breath and wait for a second.They'll probably notice you and move. Think about how nice it is to run across an old acquaintance unexpectedly and let them have that.
If they ignore you, a can of peaches used to be called "a Persuader" in the olden days when we all wore onions on our belts.
 

Ted Keane

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Stay off my property unless invited.Be nice to everyone,they're trying.You don't know what issues other people have,so be kind.AND MAKE MORE MUSIC.
 

telemnemonics

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I gotta say, I've read some "show up on time" and heard it constantly in real life.

One of my worst weaknesses is I have a really hard time showing up on time.
(This is due to ADHD, but that liability is an asset in other areas of job performance)
Further, I have a hard time quitting and going home at quitting time if there's a pressing deadline.
So when deadlines go bad which they do, I'm staying until I've done all I can, even if I end up on a job site until 10pm on Friday.

I try not to be offended by lazy a$$ workers who are careful to appear obedient, but the dumbed down standards of how we define a good worker make it so easy to con the company.

Part of my being late and being OK with that is my finding I get so much more work done after all the chatty guys get the hell off the job site!
I do get that the masses need to be on site at the same time, but people all have strengths and weaknesses, even punctual people have weaknesses.

Add in the fact that commuting at rush hour is a terrible idea??
Judging all workers by punctuality is IMO myopic.
 
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