WHAT A KLUTZ: I SERIOUSLY ASSAULTED MYSELF.

Kandinskyesque

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I achieved 7th Dan level of disabling myself a couple of hours ago and my eyes are still watering.

I had been soaking the old Redwing Riggers in boot polish for a few days and gave them a good shining this evening in anticipation of some work in the garden this summer (we have a whole 2 weeks of summer here).

After shining the boots up to a 'parade gloss' I stuck them under my left arm, e-cig in right hand and proceeded to go upstairs to the man cave.

Somehow I managed to miss the first tread on the stairs, fell forward as one of the boots slipped from under my arm. I must have tried to catch the boot with my right hand forgetting I was holding the e-cig and with the falling forward momentum managed to launch the boot toe cap first right into the family jewels, protected only by a thin layer of sweatpant.
The other boot fell and landed on my left toes and I was wearing open toed Jesus boots.

I made a noise I've never heard before. In fact I thought that my hearing didn't register sounds above 20 KHz.

I'm now wondering whether I should do any garden work at all this year, I suspect there's a rake out there just waiting for me to step on.
 

bholder

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I hate to say it but I'm going to "be that guy" - made me cringe-laugh so hard that I had to pee! Seriously, hope the damage recovers more quickly than the humiliations of it all! ;)
 

bholder

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Kandinskyesque

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NoTeleBob

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-cut-

I'm now wondering whether I should do any garden work at all this year, I suspect there's a rake out there just waiting for me to step on.

tumblr_nzgb49vW0d1tpri36o1_400.gifv
 

MarkieMark

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Weealll...

If you didn't go so far as to fall all the way down the steps while clutching the jewels to the sound of "Yip, Yip, Yip" at a pitch that got the attention of every dog withing 1.5km....

You'll probably be alright.

And for the record, it's the stairs fault.
Every time.
Well that and the e-cig, but I don't judge.
 

Kandinskyesque

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I had a fall two weeks ago. I stepped into the house from the patio, which is quite steep, and tripped. Luckily caught my top half with my arms, but my left leg and ankle weren't so lucky. Hope you recover soon.

View attachment 988598 View attachment 988599
OOOFT!!! Nasty looking.

Mine is only sore toes and a kick in the Jacksons.
I'm sure I'll be fine once the crown jewels descend back into their rightful place. Mind you, the piggies are looking a bit bruised, I'll be shopping for steel toe capped socks for wearing with my Jesus boots.

I'll comfort myself in the interim by singing Bronski Beat songs, maybe a couple of Jon Anderson songs that I could never do previously.

Strangely my pride is still intact, kicking oneself in the Jackson Pollocks with my heftiest boots is probably on a par with advanced yoga practice.
 

bigbean

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I achieved 7th Dan level of disabling myself a couple of hours ago and my eyes are still watering.

I had been soaking the old Redwing Riggers in boot polish for a few days and gave them a good shining this evening in anticipation of some work in the garden this summer (we have a whole 2 weeks of summer here).

After shining the boots up to a 'parade gloss' I stuck them under my left arm, e-cig in right hand and proceeded to go upstairs to the man cave.

Somehow I managed to miss the first tread on the stairs, fell forward as one of the boots slipped from under my arm. I must have tried to catch the boot with my right hand forgetting I was holding the e-cig and with the falling forward momentum managed to launch the boot toe cap first right into the family jewels, protected only by a thin layer of sweatpant.
The other boot fell and landed on my left toes and I was wearing open toed Jesus boots.

I made a noise I've never heard before. In fact I thought that my hearing didn't register sounds above 20 KHz.

I'm now wondering whether I should do any garden work at all this year, I suspect there's a rake out there just waiting for me to step on.
Maybe hire a spotter?
 

Kandinskyesque

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I've never heard of such footwear.
It was the colloquial term we used for sandals as kids in the 70s, it just stuck where I'm from.

I think the term originated from a teenage fiction book "A Pair of Jesus Boots" set in Liverpool in 1969 by Sylvia Sherry.
There was a UK childrens tv series called "Rocky O'Rourke" that dramatized the book.
A pretty grim story but quite realistic in grey 1970s working class Britain.
 




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