WHAT A KLUTZ: I SERIOUSLY ASSAULTED MYSELF.

[Kandinskyesque]

I achieved 7th Dan level of disabling myself a couple of hours ago and my eyes are still watering.

I had been soaking the old Redwing Riggers in boot polish for a few days and gave them a good shining this evening in anticipation of some work in the garden this summer (we have a whole 2 weeks of summer here).

After shining the boots up to a 'parade gloss' I stuck them under my left arm, e-cig in right hand and proceeded to go upstairs to the man cave.

Somehow I managed to miss the first tread on the stairs, fell forward as one of the boots slipped from under my arm. I must have tried to catch the boot with my right hand forgetting I was holding the e-cig and with the falling forward momentum managed to launch the boot toe cap first right into the family jewels, protected only by a thin layer of sweatpant.
The other boot fell and landed on my left toes and I was wearing open toed Jesus boots.

I made a noise I've never heard before. In fact I thought that my hearing didn't register sounds above 20 KHz.

I'm now wondering whether I should do any garden work at all this year, I suspect there's a rake out there just waiting for me to step on.

 

[brookdalebill]

I hope you recover fully and quickly.

 

[985plowboy]

Can’t let it impede progress.

 

[bholder]

I hate to say it but I'm going to "be that guy" - made me cringe-laugh so hard that I had to pee! Seriously, hope the damage recovers more quickly than the humiliations of it all!

 

[Tarkus60]

I know how you feel , I have rode the lightning a couple of times myself.

 

[Spox]

It was the universe telling you to lose the sandals.

Back in the mists of time I accidentally stapled a plectrum/pick to my leg whilst at work, I should have patented the idea for the gig circuit.

 

[Killing Floor]

Bizarre gardening accident?
You’re in good company.

Brian May hospitalized after injuring buttocks while gardening

Queen guitarist Brian May has revealed he ended up in hospital after injuring his buttocks during an incident in his garden.

amp.cnn.com

 

[bholder]

Bizarre gardening accident?
You’re in good company.

Brian May hospitalized after injuring buttocks while gardening

Queen guitarist Brian May has revealed he ended up in hospital after injuring his buttocks during an incident in his garden.

amp.cnn.com

Wow. Talk about "butthurt"! hehe hehe hehe

 

[Kandinskyesque]

Bizarre gardening accident?
You’re in good company.

Brian May hospitalized after injuring buttocks while gardening

Queen guitarist Brian May has revealed he ended up in hospital after injuring his buttocks during an incident in his garden.

amp.cnn.com

I remember reading about that, my theory regarding Mr May's accident involves a sudden and involuntary release of gas while lighting the barbeque.

 

[Spox]

Bizarre gardening accident?
You’re in good company.

Brian May hospitalized after injuring buttocks while gardening

Queen guitarist Brian May has revealed he ended up in hospital after injuring his buttocks during an incident in his garden.

amp.cnn.com

It was later reported that this was actually a heart attack, I think the gardening accident was cover.

 

[telleutelleme]

As I sit here picking on the roadrash scabs from a fall at the park a few weeks back, I understand the pain and the effort it takes to do something unintended and self harming. Heal quickly.

 

[NoTeleBob]

-cut-

I'm now wondering whether I should do any garden work at all this year, I suspect there's a rake out there just waiting for me to step on.

 

[Fendereedo]

I had a fall two weeks ago. I stepped into the house from the patio, which is quite steep, and tripped. Luckily caught my top half with my arms, but my left leg and ankle weren't so lucky. Hope you recover soon.

 

[trev333]

Yep, you should get out there and step on a rake now,

to get it over with....

 

[MarkieMark]

Weealll...

If you didn't go so far as to fall all the way down the steps while clutching the jewels to the sound of "Yip, Yip, Yip" at a pitch that got the attention of every dog withing 1.5km....

You'll probably be alright.

And for the record, it's the stairs fault.
Every time.
Well that and the e-cig, but I don't judge.

 

[Kandinskyesque]

I had a fall two weeks ago. I stepped into the house from the patio, which is quite steep, and tripped. Luckily caught my top half with my arms, but my left leg and ankle weren't so lucky. Hope you recover soon.

View attachment 988598 View attachment 988599

OOOFT!!! Nasty looking.

Mine is only sore toes and a kick in the Jacksons.
I'm sure I'll be fine once the crown jewels descend back into their rightful place. Mind you, the piggies are looking a bit bruised, I'll be shopping for steel toe capped socks for wearing with my Jesus boots.

I'll comfort myself in the interim by singing Bronski Beat songs, maybe a couple of Jon Anderson songs that I could never do previously.

Strangely my pride is still intact, kicking oneself in the Jackson Pollocks with my heftiest boots is probably on a par with advanced yoga practice.

 

[bigbean]

I achieved 7th Dan level of disabling myself a couple of hours ago and my eyes are still watering.

I had been soaking the old Redwing Riggers in boot polish for a few days and gave them a good shining this evening in anticipation of some work in the garden this summer (we have a whole 2 weeks of summer here).

After shining the boots up to a 'parade gloss' I stuck them under my left arm, e-cig in right hand and proceeded to go upstairs to the man cave.

Somehow I managed to miss the first tread on the stairs, fell forward as one of the boots slipped from under my arm. I must have tried to catch the boot with my right hand forgetting I was holding the e-cig and with the falling forward momentum managed to launch the boot toe cap first right into the family jewels, protected only by a thin layer of sweatpant.
The other boot fell and landed on my left toes and I was wearing open toed Jesus boots.

I made a noise I've never heard before. In fact I thought that my hearing didn't register sounds above 20 KHz.

I'm now wondering whether I should do any garden work at all this year, I suspect there's a rake out there just waiting for me to step on.

Maybe hire a spotter?

 

[sloppychops]

I was wearing open toed Jesus boots

I've never heard of such footwear.

 

[Kandinskyesque]

I've never heard of such footwear.

It was the colloquial term we used for sandals as kids in the 70s, it just stuck where I'm from.

I think the term originated from a teenage fiction book "A Pair of Jesus Boots" set in Liverpool in 1969 by Sylvia Sherry.
There was a UK childrens tv series called "Rocky O'Rourke" that dramatized the book.
A pretty grim story but quite realistic in grey 1970s working class Britain.

 

[Telekarster]

OUCH!!!! I nearly saw stars reading your post!!!! Wow....