Guitar players, that is. We have trained our ears to detect the merest differences between guitars, gear, components, all in order to justify our obsession and addiction. To people who don't play guitar, none of this means tuppence. Why? Well, this is what I'm pretty sure would happen in a listening test with any of my non-guitarist friends . . . The test is a tele played clean vs a Les Paul played clean. Now, we all know what's going to happen. The tele will sound brighter, spankier, harsher, clearer. The Les Paul will sound fatter, creamier, thicker, and other words ending in -er. So, there's my mate, listening. And me playing. After the test I say: which one sounded better? -That one. -Why? -Cos it's red. I like red. The other one sucks. It's yellow. I hate yellow. -But how did it sound different? -Coz it's red. It looks really cool. That yellow one sounds sucky. -How did it sound sucky? -Coz it's yellow. I hate yellow. I like the red one better. -Can you describe the differences in sound? -I like the red one. -Yes, but how- -Do you have any snacks? Wasting. Our. Time.