We need a music joke thread...

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by schmee, Oct 31, 2019.

  1. RetroTeleRod

    RetroTeleRod Poster Extraordinaire

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    Did you hear about the bass player who was so depressed about his timing he decided to end it all?

    He threw himself behind a train.
     
  2. Teletubbie

    Teletubbie TDPRI Member Gold Supporter

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    Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?
    Took him 3 hours to get the bass player out!
     
    drlucky likes this.
  3. ElJay370

    ElJay370 Tele-Holic

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    Guitar Nerd.jpg
     
  4. 39martind18

    39martind18 Tele-Holic

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    A horrible thing happened to a friend of mine. He parked is Mustang convertible, top down, with a banjo in the back seat. When he came back, there were two of them!:p:D
     
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  5. wtk0315

    wtk0315 Tele-Holic

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    What do you call a guitarist who just got dumped by his girlfriend......homeless!
     
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  6. BigDaddyLH

    BigDaddyLH Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    An orchestra conductor and composer (name omitted) is sentenced to die by the electric chair. He's hooked up and they throw the switch but nothing happens. Guards check and the chair is working, so they increase the voltage. Still nothing. The voltage is set to max and still he is not harmed. One guard mumbles to the other, "I told you he was a poor conductor".
     
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  7. unixfish

    unixfish Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    What do you call a guitar player in a suit?

    The defendant.
     
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  8. unixfish

    unixfish Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    How are lightening and a violin player's fingers similar?

    They never strike the same place twice.
     
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  9. dannyh

    dannyh Tele-Afflicted

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    What’s the difference in a bagpipe and an onion?

    Nobody cries when you cut up a bagpipe.
     
  10. RetroTeleRod

    RetroTeleRod Poster Extraordinaire

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    What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?

    You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.


    How do you make a chain saw sound like a bagpipe?

    Add vibrato.


    What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead bagpiper in the road?

    Skid marks in front of the snake.
     
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  11. basher

    basher Tele-Afflicted Silver Supporter

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    Joey the drummer got tired of all the drummer jokes he was seeing on the internet, so he decided to learn a new instrument or two. He went down to his local music store and nosed around for a while, and finally said to the sales clerk, "Hey, I want to buy that red saxophone and that accordion."

    The sales clerk said, "Um, ok, I'll sell you the fire extinguisher, but the radiator is going to have to stay."
     
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  12. tomkatf

    tomkatf Tele-Afflicted

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    Plus an accordion... and some bagpipes... :p
     
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  13. johnny k

    johnny k Friend of Leo's

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    [​IMG]
     
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  14. Endless Mike

    Endless Mike Friend of Leo's

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    Variation on one already posted -

    A frog and a trombone player pass each other on the highway. What's the difference? The frog might be on his way to a gig.
     
  15. richiek65

    richiek65 Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

    One, five, one, five, one, five, one, five


    What's the difference between a terrorist and a soprano?

    You can negotiate with a terrorist
     
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  16. PastorJay

    PastorJay Tele-Afflicted

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    That's hilarious. And probably true.

    In my defense, I turn 60 later this year. And I have a girlfriend.
     
  17. Shuster

    Shuster Poster Extraordinaire

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    guitarist-loud.png
     
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  18. Shuster

    Shuster Poster Extraordinaire

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    funny-guitarists-pick-blink-disappear.jpg
     
  19. LGOberean

    LGOberean Doctor of Teleocity

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    What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

    A flat miner.
     
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  20. ping-ping-clicka

    ping-ping-clicka Tele-Holic

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    :(a man is standing against a wall in front off a firing squad,
    the captain asks , " would you like a blind fold" the victim says "no thank you"
    the victim is asked, "would you care for a last cigarette ?"
    The Victim pauses to contemplate the offer of a last cigarette,
    hesitates and replays,
    "No Thank you, I'm thinking about quitting" :twisted:
     
    schmee likes this.
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