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Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by Shuster, Dec 4, 2019.
We were told that all we needed to be successful were brains, education, and effort.
They left out the part about daddy's connections and money.
It's so hard for most people to grasp. Of course its flat. If the darned thing was round like those "ignorant" scientist claim, what would keep it from just rolling away? I do declare some folks just don't understand nuthin'.
Santa Clause gets a bad rap because he doesn't deliver to poor kids, it ain't his fault, they want a present build a chimney! Rich folks got chimneys on their houses, so the little rich kids put out the milks and cookies, he comes down the chimney, eats the cookies, drinks the milk and on to the next rich kid's house.
One time Santa was going to be a nice guy, and give the kids over in the projects a bag of Christmas presents. What happened? When he pried open a window to come in and deliver, he looked up and there was a man six foot six holding a double barreled shotgun, that's what happened. Santa sure can run for a fat fellow, he whistled for his sleigh and old Rudolf, and the boys come sailing buy, he made a running jump landed in the sled as the man who was chasing him let go both barrels, lucky for Santa and his deer they were wearing vests.
If poor kids want presents from Santa, they ain't just gonna have to be good, they gonna hafta come up with some kind of plan where Santa don't get shot for his efforts. Maybe meet in the park, or Walmart parking lot. Hmm, Walmart won't work, the homeless guys there would mug him. THEY"LL have to think of something.
many is the time that on a long drive the chance encounter with a restroom was like dropping off the pot of gold across the rainbow...
you know, those times that after 'birth' you feel like an entirely different person (and ready to tackle another monster burrito and 64oz soda.
With a little spring in your step.
Yet another myth
I am still just trying to sort out all that stuff about the stork!?
Yeah, I've never had the luck of catching him on a good day...
Apparently, Baby Oil is not made from babies.
I have my doubts about Angel Delight as well. .
The spirit of Christmas round my dad's place is cheap blended whiskey, the kind that stains porcelain toilets but is good at degreasing engines
I have thrown a lot of pennies into the wishing well … just sayin
Santa IS real!