Was asked to join a band

[teleforumnoob]

They sound desparate to me. Trying to hire someone and hour and a half away with no transportation.
I would politely decline.

 

[Fiesta Red]

The only way I’d play in band whose music I don’t like was if the money was good enough that I could retire within a year.

 

[nickmm]

You will not get better and play your dream gig if you don't perform.
If you don't want to perform and gain experience don't do it.

 

[Doomguy]

Another update:

I haven't heard anything in about a week now, I've been completely ghosted by these people. I assume they found someone else and didn't really care enough to tell me, or my friend is too scared to man up and tell me that they're going in a different direction. The lack of communication is ridiculous, only solidified my decision to not join up with them.

 

[Doomguy]

You've got no wheels. Who is going to take you to practice, rehearsals, gigs carry your equipment, your mom? She's tired of taking you all over the place and has a life of her own.

There are modes of transportation other then cars. I walk everywhere I can and hop on the bike as well. The last thing I want is my lack of a car to be a burden on others. It's not easy to save up for a car while trying to pay off student loans, I'm doing my best to balance everything.

Don't make assumptions about people you don't know.

 

[StrangerNY]

I'd thank them for the consideration and pass. It just sounds like too many negatives for you to be comfortable in the situation.

- D

 

[Cloodie]

Another update:

I haven't heard anything in about a week now, I've been completely ghosted by these people. I assume they found someone else and didn't really care enough to tell me, or my friend is too scared to man up and tell me that they're going in a different direction. The lack of communication is ridiculous, only solidified my decision to not join up with them.

Aren't they waiting on you getting back to them?

 

[Toast]

If your band mates are investing their lives and treasure into this project and you're just in it to get some experience, then I'd say you're a fish out of water. Find another band that just wants to gain experience and skills. Another option is to just tell the band that you're a temporary place holder guitarist gaining skills and experience till somebody comes along who can commit to the rest of the band's goals. At least with option 2 you're being honest about things.

 

[Doomguy]

Aren't they waiting on you getting back to them?

I was told that I'd get a call a week ago now, that call never came. Not my problem anymore.

 

[pippoman]

My former music teacher/ friend asked me to join his band after his rhythm guitarist quit and I'm feeling conflicted about the whole thing. I'm going to list some pros/cons, kind of looking for more experienced people to give me their opinions.

Pros:
They want me to be heavily involved in the songwriting process, I bring different influences that they don't have
Very professional attitude about rehearsing/practicing, keeping sharp, they take sounding good very seriously
I will naturally practice more and become a better guitarist for doing this
Willing to meet me half way when it comes to meeting for rehearsals (I left the area a few months ago and live about an hour/hour and a half away)

Cons:
I'm not sure I'm up to the skill level they're looking for
I am largely uninterested in the style of music they are trying to play these days (spacey, technical death metal)
I will be investing a lot of time practicing/rehearsing things I don't really care about
I live far away and travel will be a pain (I do not have a car at the moment)
I am expected to financially contribute to help the band. I have things like student loans to worry about and am still looking for a job after graduating college last month

It's also pertinent to mention that I'm much younger then everyone else. I turn 22 next month and the next youngest member is 28. They are in different stages of their lives then I am. I'm very humbled and grateful that I'm even being considered for this gig but I'm personally leaning towards giving them a soft no when we talk more later? I was very excited earlier but I think it was more about playing music with people then actually being in this band. I haven't met anyone doing music I'm interested in down here and instantly got excited when I heard that people even wanted to play with me.

Thoughts? Am I out of my mind here?

I have to get back to work, so I’ll be brief. Unless this group has a SOLID chance of making the gray, I personally wouldn’t consider it. The hour to hour and a half part? I’d stop right there. You know these guys and we don’t, and I’m sure they’re serious. I think, though, that you’d spend a lot of valuable time and money on that venture and would soon burn out. Personally, I would pass. But that’s just me.

 

[pippoman]

I was told that I'd get a call a week ago now, that call never came. Not my problem anymore.

Oh, well that’s simple.

 

[Red Ryder]

If they pay you a salary and gas reimbursement, sounds like a great gig. But, even so.

Gas reimbursement? What's he putting gas in?

 

[Red Ryder]

Here is the best advice I can give you. You're young, just got out of school and you've acquired debt. Get a cheap set of wheels to get around, get a good job,pay your bills. Forget about that hour and a half drive to play guitar with some clowns who want you to kick in money. Sounds like they got nothing going or they would be offering you money. There are guitar players around every corner. Find some guys whose company and style you enjoy.
There will be less complications. Like I said you're young band opportunities will be coming to you for the next 40 years. Now go to work.

 

[TheFuzzDog]

If you don't like it you can quit. But to walk away on prejudgements, I don't know. The pros and cons tally - that's an accountants view of life. Not very metal.

This is a very simplistic (and self-centered) view of the situation. It assumes that you are the only person with any time or energy being spent in the period where you decide if you want to stay with the band. The rest of the band is spending their time and energy on you. You owe it to them to make sure they know you’re not a definite member. If they decide to bring you in anyway, all is well.

 

[1955]

Always trust your gut, because you’ll have to suffer consequences either way, might as well be for what you feel is right.

I don’t regret what I sacrificed to do the bands and eventually music for a living, because I knew it was right in my heart at the time. But I was always absolutely certain about it in my gut, and I wasn’t tempted by other bands trying to pull me away from our original band, which was my true love.

Life is hard enough. Make everything count, and don’t dabble, focus harder than anyone you know on your dreams, and you will have a fighting chance.

 

[Ronhar]

Sounds like honest advice has been given. My 2cents- they think you have what it takes and maybe your personality is a match. If thats true you’ll have more opportunities arise. I have always liked playing with good guys reguardless of their skill level. We learn together. Buttheads never last.

 

[suthol]

And ya never know. You might find a great scene with fun/interesting people and enjoy it

I read an article about Gwar and the watched a bit of YT.

Definitely not my genre and I'm probably at least 40 years too old but I think donning the uniform and performing would be a hoot.

There's always something to learn even if it's what not to do

 

[Tonetele]

I am expected to financially contribute to help the band. I have things like student loans to worry about and am still looking for a job after graduating college last month

Hmmnn? That's the part that would have me worried. I as in a band about to go pro once. Turned out we all had good high paying jobs except for the singer who wantd a new sound system and a new van. We passed. Good band though. Very well known here and lots of work- up to 4 nights a week.

 

[Marc Morfei]

Rather than committing to a band you’re unsure about, why not propose a one-off rehearsal / 2 way audition? That way, if you find you have fun, get on with the rest of the band, and find some common ground, maybe you’ll come to some different conclusions, or maybe you won’t: but you’ll know what playing with that band was like, and won’t always wonder “what if?” for years to come…

Great advice!

 

[Peegoo]

Another update:

I haven't heard anything in about a week now, I've been completely ghosted by these people. I assume they found someone else and didn't really care enough to tell me, or my friend is too scared to man up and tell me that they're going in a different direction. The lack of communication is ridiculous, only solidified my decision to not join up with them.

Musicians are SOOOOOOO unreliable!