Was asked to join a band

Jakedog

Telefied
Ad Free Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2003
Posts
22,952
Location
The North Coast
I didn’t read any further than to find out you’re really not that into their material. That’s all you really to know.

Unless it’s something you’ve been curious about and really want to explore, pass.
 

HoodieMcFoodie

Telefied
Ad Free Member
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Posts
22,376
Age
60
Location
Tamworth, 'straya.
My former music teacher/ friend asked me to join his band after his rhythm guitarist quit and I'm feeling conflicted about the whole thing. I'm going to list some pros/cons, kind of looking for more experienced people to give me their opinions.

Pros:
They want me to be heavily involved in the songwriting process, I bring different influences that they don't have
Very professional attitude about rehearsing/practicing, keeping sharp, they take sounding good very seriously
I will naturally practice more and become a better guitarist for doing this
Willing to meet me half way when it comes to meeting for rehearsals (I left the area a few months ago and live about an hour/hour and a half away)

Cons:
I'm not sure I'm up to the skill level they're looking for
I am largely uninterested in the style of music they are trying to play these days (spacey, technical death metal)
I will be investing a lot of time practicing/rehearsing things I don't really care about
I live far away and travel will be a pain (I do not have a car at the moment)
I am expected to financially contribute to help the band. I have things like student loans to worry about and am still looking for a job after graduating college last month
Hmmm even so, it might be a good experience. You are young and it is not like this is your last band. You will learn some things, and I don’t mean just how to be more death metal but about playing live etc. And ya never know. You might find a great scene with fun/interesting people and enjoy it.

The only real negative I see is the part where they want you to contribute financially. Hmmm this is iffy.

Either way, you are young. Don’t stress about it too much, no matter what you decide.

This is a definite "no" for me. They are asking you to actively contribute to writing songs in a style you don't like.
If you were to join and write some material, who gets ownership of that material when you leave?
Also look at it from their perspective. If you join and later things don't work out and you leave you are putting them back to square one.
If your heart is not committed to the project you are better of not joining, not only for your benefit but also for the benefit of the other members in the band.
 

Skyhook

Friend of Leo's
Joined
Aug 12, 2014
Posts
2,036
Location
Turku, Finland
My former music teacher/ friend asked me to join his band after his rhythm guitarist quit and I'm feeling conflicted about the whole thing. I'm going to list some pros/cons, kind of looking for more experienced people to give me their opinions.

Pros:
They want me to be heavily involved in the songwriting process, I bring different influences that they don't have
Very professional attitude about rehearsing/practicing, keeping sharp, they take sounding good very seriously
I will naturally practice more and become a better guitarist for doing this
Willing to meet me half way when it comes to meeting for rehearsals (I left the area a few months ago and live about an hour/hour and a half away)

Cons:
I'm not sure I'm up to the skill level they're looking for
I am largely uninterested in the style of music they are trying to play these days (spacey, technical death metal)
I will be investing a lot of time practicing/rehearsing things I don't really care about
I live far away and travel will be a pain (I do not have a car at the moment)
I am expected to financially contribute to help the band. I have things like student loans to worry about and am still looking for a job after graduating college last month

It's also pertinent to mention that I'm much younger then everyone else. I turn 22 next month and the next youngest member is 28. They are in different stages of their lives then I am. I'm very humbled and grateful that I'm even being considered for this gig but I'm personally leaning towards giving them a soft no when we talk more later? I was very excited earlier but I think it was more about playing music with people then actually being in this band. I haven't met anyone doing music I'm interested in down here and instantly got excited when I heard that people even wanted to play with me.

Thoughts? Am I out of my mind here?

Here... let me meander for a bit then....

Some of your pros seem to be cons and vice versa here.
For once; let's do the good stuff first. Your con "I'm not sure I'm up to the skill level they're looking for" is actually a pro.
You wouldn't have been asked if they didn't think you had the right stuff. Also, the quickest way to improve
by leaps and bounds is to surround yourself with your musical betters and having to rise to the occasion.
This is a golden opportunity to improve.

The rest of your con-list is indeed daunting.
If it was me I'd most probably decline.

Then we have a wayward pro that's actually a con: "They want me to be heavily involved in the songwriting process".
Let's see here... so you're gonna be heavily involved in writing music that(in your words) you are "largely uninterested in".
Sounds like a real chore! Especially in light of all the other cons.

It's a no for me.
However... YMMV since you actually know someone in the band and all I had to go on was your post.
 

Buzzgrowl

Tele-Holic
Joined
Oct 3, 2017
Posts
590
Age
59
Location
Switzerland
I know a lot of people who have "meh"-ed themselves out of many, even most, life opportunities.

While I am not surprised at the advice provided, and it is mostly very sensible, it speaks of a different state of mind and spirit, certainly different than that of a 21 yo metalhead.

If you don't like it you can quit. But to walk away on prejudgements, I don't know. The pros and cons tally - that's an accountants view of life. Not very metal. 😄🤟
 

andy__d

Tele-Meister
Joined
Apr 21, 2014
Posts
129
Location
Saint Petersburg, FL
Rather than committing to a band you’re unsure about, why not propose a one-off rehearsal / 2 way audition? That way, if you find you have fun, get on with the rest of the band, and find some common ground, maybe you’ll come to some different conclusions, or maybe you won’t: but you’ll know what playing with that band was like, and won’t always wonder “what if?” for years to come…
 

bowman

Friend of Leo's
Joined
Sep 15, 2006
Posts
3,327
Location
Massachusetts
I vote with the “thanks but no thanks” faction here. Too many obvious aggravations already - you’d be working way too hard for something you don’t really care about.
 

bcorig

Friend of Leo's
Gold Supporter
Joined
Mar 11, 2018
Posts
4,139
Location
Lost in the 909 trying to find my way home
My former music teacher/ friend asked me to join his band after his rhythm guitarist quit and I'm feeling conflicted about the whole thing. I'm going to list some pros/cons, kind of looking for more experienced people to give me their opinions.

Pros:
They want me to be heavily involved in the songwriting process, I bring different influences that they don't have
Very professional attitude about rehearsing/practicing, keeping sharp, they take sounding good very seriously
I will naturally practice more and become a better guitarist for doing this
Willing to meet me half way when it comes to meeting for rehearsals (I left the area a few months ago and live about an hour/hour and a half away)

Cons:
I'm not sure I'm up to the skill level they're looking for
I am largely uninterested in the style of music they are trying to play these days (spacey, technical death metal)
I will be investing a lot of time practicing/rehearsing things I don't really care about
I live far away and travel will be a pain (I do not have a car at the moment)
I am expected to financially contribute to help the band. I have things like student loans to worry about and am still looking for a job after graduating college last month

It's also pertinent to mention that I'm much younger then everyone else. I turn 22 next month and the next youngest member is 28. They are in different stages of their lives then I am. I'm very humbled and grateful that I'm even being considered for this gig but I'm personally leaning towards giving them a soft no when we talk more later? I was very excited earlier but I think it was more about playing music with people then actually being in this band. I haven't met anyone doing music I'm interested in down here and instantly got excited when I heard that people even wanted to play with me.

Thoughts? Am I out of my mind here?
If all 22 years old people were as comprehensive in their assessments of decisions I would be more optimistic about their futures.
I see several big “no”s here but the most significant is “I am largely uninterested in the style of music they are trying to play these days”.
I don’t see how you put up with the logistical and financial challenges when you aren’t enthused by the art.
Being wooed is always fun but you‘ve done a good job
 

teleman1

Friend of Leo's
Joined
May 16, 2003
Posts
3,399
Age
67
Location
Arizona
If they pay you a salary and gas reimbursement, sounds like a great gig. But, even so.
 

Masmus

Tele-Afflicted
Joined
Feb 21, 2018
Posts
1,096
Age
54
Location
San Jose
Six months from now you will have invested your time and money in music you don't like, when that finally becomes untenable and you part ways they will have to start over and you will have less money.

I was asked once to join a cover band for fun but they wanted me to pay a share for a rehearsal studio. I haven't paid for that in 25 years, I said no just for that reason alone.
 

nickmsmith

Tele-Holic
Joined
Jun 5, 2016
Posts
852
Location
USA
What are their odds of legitimate success?

I wouldn’t want to turn down a big opportunity to be in a powder keg of success, right before it goes huge.

But if they’re going to do just local stuff, small things. It may or may not be worth your time.

For me, at this stage in life. If it isn’t instantly very profitable, or a high probability of big success, I wouldn’t consider it.

I have and would play genres I don’t love. Loving a genre can definitely be an acquired taste.
 

MTPoteet

Tele-Holic
Joined
Jun 25, 2021
Posts
577
Age
67
Location
right here
Move on! The drive alone would be reason enough for me., not to mention financial contributions.
I'll pass.
 

57joonya

Tele-Afflicted
Joined
Jul 23, 2021
Posts
1,308
Age
48
Location
New Jersey
I do it for the music. This is death metal, odds are we don't make money off this at all.

Don't get me wrong, I love death metal. Just not the kind they're going for. My true dream is to be involved in a funeral doom/atmospheric/depressive black metal type of project. Almost the complete opposite of what these guys are going for. They want to play fast, complex music and I want to write things that are more about the vibes/feelings more then anything else.
Cool, well only you can know what u really want . But what about having them send a list of songs , and u work on em and see how you feel . You can tell them your not going to commit , but will come up for a jam and see how it goes. U never know, u might get together with these people and it could be amazing.
 




New Posts

Top