The wife came out of the shower naked, and said "Shut the curtains, I don't want the neighbours to see me with no clothes on". I said "If the neighbours see you naked, they'll shut their own damn curtains ". My Polish wife is struggling to come to terms with the English language. The other night she said to me "Me be going out with friends this night". Smiling, I had to correct her: " No you're fu*^%ng not!" I went out last Friday, and got totally pissed out of my mind. I woke up next to this fat sweaty bird, who was snoring, grunting, and farting. I thought thank fu^& for that; at least I made it home.