Today is... Post a short stupid joke you made up!

[BigDaddyLH]

You know those enormous breakfasts you can get at any diner? Well, I ordered one egg, the French breakfast, because that's un oeuf.

 

[Brad Pittiful]

Yes you can.

nuh uh...they said ill never get lost...trust your corporate overlords

 

[61fury]

You hear about the suicidal judge who was also a writer? He wanted a novel way to die so he sentenced himself to death.

 

[DanglingNutslots]

Did you hear about the Italian chef who slipped on the kitchen floor? He pasta way.

 

[O- Fender]

A rock themed one, stolen from a friend:

In the late 70s, Kerry Livgren and Rich Williams were kicked out of the band. They immediately called up Jeff Porcaro and David Paich to form a new group.

They formed Toto because they weren't in Kansas anymore.

p.s. you did say stupid. Don't blame me.

 

[Wrighty]

After searching for quite a while my wife asked ‘have you seen the dog bowl?’ I replied ‘I didn’t even know he played cricket’. I found it more amusing than she did.

 

[Wrighty]

Hear the one about the lady that backed into a meat grinder?
Disaster

And everyone got a little behind with their orders!

 

[Wrighty]

The sign said ‘all you can eat for £5’. I offered £2.50 for half as much as I could eat. The waitress offered to ‘check with the Manager’.!

 

[Wrighty]

Not on one of mine but, in a fish and chip shop: customer ‘cod and chips twice please’, server ‘I heard you the first time’.

 

[stepvan]

A dirty joke for you guys,



Three white horses fell in the mud

 

[Flip G]

Which Cream song was it Dracula performed last night at Karaoke?

I'm so Vlad.
I'm so Vlad.
I'm Vlad ...
I'm Vlad ...
I'm Vlad ...

 

[sax4blues]

Grew up in California 60 years. I wish this was a joke.

 

[yegbert]

Hear the one about the lady that backed into a meat grinder?
Disaster

And everyone got a little behind with their orders!

What a crappy situation!

 

[pippoman]

Driving through town the other day and I saw a dead body seated in a lawn chair near the curb, with a sign nailed to its forehead which said "Free body."

I asked myself who could commit such a heinous crime, and further disrespect the dead like that?

And then it occurred to me, that it was...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
... a dead giveaway.

toot toot!

Boouuyyy, dat wuz dumb!

 

[pixeljammer]

My kid ran through the screen door and strained herself.

 

[pippoman]

Which Cream song was it Dracula performed last night at Karaoke?

I'm so Vlad.
I'm so Vlad.
I'm Vlad ...
I'm Vlad ...
I'm Vlad ...

Yah, took me a few seconds. Now that song is stuck in my head and that’s nothing to be vlad about!

 

[yegbert]

Which Cream song was it Dracula performed last night at Karaoke?

I'm so Vlad.
I'm so Vlad.
I'm Vlad ...
I'm Vlad ...
I'm Vlad ...

Yah, took me a few seconds. Now that song is stuck in my head and that’s nothing to be vlad about!

Y‘all are Vlad All Over!

I think the key to getting one unstuck, is to find a different one to stick in there.

 

[johnny k]

You know those enormous breakfasts you can get at any diner? Well, I ordered one egg, the French breakfast, because that's un oeuf.

Un oeuf is un oeuf !

 

[That Cal Webway]

A Knew Day:

Were the Bee Gees being literal in the title of their song,
"I Started a Joke??"

... 50+ yrs later- waiting for the joke!

 

[EugeneWeemich]

Boouuyyy, dat wuz dumb!

Thank you. Thank you.
I'll be here all night!