Today is... Post a short stupid joke you made up!

[BB]

Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two....but don't ask me how they got in there!

 

[JL_LI]

If a Blacksburg, VA prostitute decides that her job isn't all it's cracked up to be and goes to school to better he life, does that mean she's done the Hokie pokey and turned herself around?

(Blacksburg is home of the Virginia Tech Hokies)

Maybe she’s found the pay is better at fraternity parties.

 

[EugeneWeemich]

Driving through town the other day and I saw a dead body seated in a lawn chair near the curb, with a sign nailed to its forehead which said "Free body."

I asked myself who could commit such a heinous crime, and further disrespect the dead like that?

And then it occurred to me, that it was...
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... a dead giveaway.

toot toot!

 

[EugeneWeemich]

dupes are not my fault!

 

[EugeneWeemich]

...another dupe

 

[David Barnett]

I can't take credit for this one, but:

Did you hear about the beatnik cannibals?


They eat three squares a day.

 

[39martind18]

A kid nearly drowned in the river

He's alright now, just a little wet behind the ears

Hey TD- here's one I made up on the golf course this morning: How is the moisture on the grass like a French goodbye? They're both adieu (a dew)! Yeesh! Well at least I shot below 100-93, and had two birdies, as well as a couple of heartfelt groans from my playing partners! A good day overall!

 

[AngelStrummer]

For England fans:

Gareth Southgate and Harry Kane walk into a bar and the bartender says: "why the long faces?".

 

[ce24]

When im playing out and one guy claps i respond with “thanks Dad”

 

[yegbert]

If a Blacksburg, VA prostitute decides that her job isn't all it's cracked up to be and goes to school to better he life, does that mean she's done the Hokie pokey and turned herself around?

(Blacksburg is home of the Virginia Tech Hokies)

Remember Lorena Bobbit from some years back who cut off her husband’s manhood. DJs on a local radio station we’re discussing that story when it was fairly new. They said she had spent some time in Petersburg, Virginia for some reason. But she had apparently not mended her ways yet, and she caused similar problems there. They were thinking they might have to change the name of that city to just “Burg”.

 

[Kandinskyesque]

Q: What's brown and sticky?

A: A stick.

 

[Toto'sDad]

Hey TD- here's one I made up on the golf course this morning: How is the moisture on the grass like a French goodbye? They're both adieu (a dew)! Yeesh! Well at least I shot below 100-93, and had two birdies, as well as a couple of heartfelt groans from my playing partners! A good day overall!

Good day at the golf course, and you really have a captive audience. What are they gonna do? They can't bail out!

 

[skunqesh]

(not mine, but it's turning into dad-jokes around here, so...)

What do you call a factory that makes okay products?



a satisfactory

 

[Chiogtr4x]

'Defeat of deduct went over defense, before detail!'
( a stupid thing an old '70's HS classmate used to say)

 

[Chiogtr4x]

Hear the one about the lady that backed into a meat grinder?
Disaster

 

[StevesBoogie]

Here's one ..... my guitar playing! ROFL ROFL ROFL

 

[timbgtr]

I don’t have any of my solos recorded. I’ll work on it.

 

[timbgtr]

Here's one ..... my guitar playing! ROFL ROFL ROFL

This came in while I did my post!!!

 

[ndcaster]

What do you call a guitarist who throws his TV out the window?

A Telecaster!

 

[unixfish]

From my daughter.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? It's not because 7 8 9. It's because 7 is a registered 6 offender.