To take the gig or not?

[Red Ryder]

I have a similar situation with a friend who is always wanting to buy gear and pay it out. He left a bass that took me 4 months to build in pawn shop in Louisiana, still owing me money. It took me 7 months to get every penny.
Now when he asks I just politely say, f you. That's something you can consider.

 

[fretWalkr]

I would do that only if I needed to make rent. I don't so I wouldn't. He's way too vague on simple details and involves 4 hours of travel. Sound like a CF.

When I was scufflin' and needed the money I took some gigs several hours away playing music I didn't like. The main guy was a full of himself, vague, unreliable, and arrogant. Every cell in my gut was warning me. Sure enough, he stiffed me on the last gig.

As an aside, a couple of months later I saw his van in a parking lot. It had a very expensive custom paint job. I wanted so bad to key that paint job plus no one could see me do it. But my better angels prevailed and I walked away. Turns out I didn't want revenge as much as I wanted that guy out of my movie.

 

[Jakedog]

Good grief. Why in the world would anyone take that gig? No way, Jose.

I get that you’re worried about an old friend, and that’s commendable, but you are not required to set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.

 

[teletail]

I would do it if I was 100% sure I’d get paid. He’s a flake; you do your best and if sounds like what it sounds like. At least you’re not ****ing in your own back yard. I would though tell him I want a set list with keys today or you’re not doing it.

$350 is $350!

 

[Teddyjack]

What you're describing is too many warning signs for me. Sounds stressful and like other posts have said, if you're concerned about him, maybe lunch.

 

[old soul]

I grew up with a guy, and his grandma had several sayings
'Skip that bunch'
'I dont need that much excitement in my life'
And they both ring true here

 

[Marc Morfei]

Seems like a unanimous "no." But here's one more thing to consider. You say he told you $350. How much confidence do you have that if you took the gig you would actually see that money?

 

[Timbresmith1]

A friend of mine who plays private and corporate gigs reached out to me yesterday to see if I was available for a gig on Friday.

I was tight with this person for a period of years and even was roommates with him for 3 years before his constant late nights of drinking, having people over, playing his piano at 3 in the morning, while I was trying to sleep because I had to get up to work at 7, drove me to move out. It wasn't always like that, just to be clear. That only happened a few months before I had enough.

Over the last several years this guy has burnt many bridges in the local musician community (which is kind of small) for many reasons and has even got himself into trouble with the law. The reason for this is, long story short, he's had some life events that have happened in the last 10 years: failed marriage, his Dad dying, that have turned him into a severe alcoholic. From what I have heard too, it's even affected his playing. I have not seen him a few years primarily because his lifestyle is the complete opposite of mine but all the stories I have heard from fellow musicians who have seen him at either jam sessions, or sitting in at gigs (or trying to) have been bad: Drunk, playing out of tune, and just a basic trainwreck.

Anyway, he's asked me to play this gig which is "Good pay", $350. Not bad but it's not local, at least a 2 hour drive, to the location and probably a 3-4 hour gig. I don't really need the money, which is a good thing and I feel like the gig will be less fun than I would like not to mention the late night getting home.

I have tried to get some information from him like: what time is it? where is it? (and this all through text) but he's short with me and won't answer my questions. At this point I feel like I have already made up my mind to NOT take the gig. On the other hand, because this guy was at one point a close friend, I feel like I want to take the gig just to see how he's doing. Who knows, it could be fun but, the last gig I played with him was just okay. Plus the material is usually music that I don't enjoy playing to begin with.

Has anyone else on here had a similar experience?

Yes. Life is too long to deal with people like that. I’ll check back 2x. Then it’s on them. 8 hrs for $350 minus fuel? Hmmm…

 

[Happy Enchilada]

Too many red flags. I'd pass.
But if you do take the gig, don't let him drive ...

 

[Griendrrrr]

I'd tell him I can't make it but try to get together for lunch and catch up. It sounds like your only interest in this is as a friend not a musician, so engage with him as a friend.

Simple and genius sound advice. You don't have to totally blow the guy off and still not invest a ton of yourself in a situation that's going to turn ugly, even if it's just being pissed at him, which if it was me I could already picture that part. It's OK to be a good guy. but "NO" is a valid response, then throwing another option in really shows some consideration.

At that point if he's going to cop an attitude it's all on him as far as I see it.

 

[Jazzcaster21]

After reaching to some fellow players to get some input about some of their recent experiences with him,I said no. In the end the cons: the drive, late night, lame material, etc. outweighed the pros: money, playing my guitar, seeing an old friend. I just couldn't risk it.

I shot him a text, told him that I can't do the gig but I will call him. His response was very civil and showed no hard feelings.

Thanks for all the input

 

[stxrus]

If it were me I’d try a get together as friends to see how he’s doing. Face to face can tell a lot

 

[Burlington Dave]

A friend of mine who plays private and corporate gigs reached out to me yesterday to see if I was available for a gig on Friday.

I was tight with this person for a period of years and even was roommates with him for 3 years before his constant late nights of drinking, having people over, playing his piano at 3 in the morning, while I was trying to sleep because I had to get up to work at 7, drove me to move out. It wasn't always like that, just to be clear. That only happened a few months before I had enough.

Over the last several years this guy has burnt many bridges in the local musician community (which is kind of small) for many reasons and has even got himself into trouble with the law. The reason for this is, long story short, he's had some life events that have happened in the last 10 years: failed marriage, his Dad dying, that have turned him into a severe alcoholic. From what I have heard too, it's even affected his playing. I have not seen him a few years primarily because his lifestyle is the complete opposite of mine but all the stories I have heard from fellow musicians who have seen him at either jam sessions, or sitting in at gigs (or trying to) have been bad: Drunk, playing out of tune, and just a basic trainwreck.

Anyway, he's asked me to play this gig which is "Good pay", $350. Not bad but it's not local, at least a 2 hour drive, to the location and probably a 3-4 hour gig. I don't really need the money, which is a good thing and I feel like the gig will be less fun than I would like not to mention the late night getting home.

I have tried to get some information from him like: what time is it? where is it? (and this all through text) but he's short with me and won't answer my questions. At this point I feel like I have already made up my mind to NOT take the gig. On the other hand, because this guy was at one point a close friend, I feel like I want to take the gig just to see how he's doing. Who knows, it could be fun but, the last gig I played with him was just okay. Plus the material is usually music that I don't enjoy playing to begin with.

Has anyone else on here had a similar experience?

Don’t do it! Too many red flags.

 

[Griendrrrr]

After reaching to some fellow players to get some input about some of their recent experiences with him,I said no. In the end the cons: the drive, late night, lame material, etc. outweighed the pros: money, playing my guitar, seeing an old friend. I just couldn't risk it.

I shot him a text, told him that I can't do the gig but I will call him. His response was very civil and showed no hard feelings.

Thanks for all the input

Glad to hear it. Follow up and call him. Maybe you guys could just get together for a short jam if you're both into it, then feel it out and take it from there. I really think you saved yourself a bunch of regret in this one.

I guess it's still fresh with me I hooked up with someone on Craigslist and it turned out to be even worse than what it looked like. No one to blame but me on this one....

Now if things start going south I quickly cut ties or let them do it and happily wish them the best....

 

[HoodieMcFoodie]

3 A.M. piano player? Pretty sure I called the cops on him a couple of times.

That's a hard no. Friend or not.

 

[Papanate]

A friend of mine who plays private and corporate gigs reached out to me yesterday to see if I was available for a gig on Friday.


I have tried to get some information from him like: what time is it? where is it? (and this all through text) but he's short with me and won't answer my questions. At this point I feel like I have already made up my mind to NOT take the gig. On the other hand, because this guy was at one point a close friend, I feel like I want to take the gig just to see how he's doing. Who knows, it could be fun but, the last gig I played with him was just okay. Plus the material is usually music that I don't enjoy playing to begin with.

Has anyone else on here had a similar experience?

No - if the information isn't solid than I have no use for the gig - and $350 with a 4 hour round trip and a 4.5 hour gig? He won't share the information with you? Don't even text him again - put him on ignore.

Never mind - I see you resolved it - personally I wouldn't get together with him - too much baggage.

 

[loudboy]

Nope.

I got a call once at 11am to play a wedding at 2pm. It was a guy I knew, and the other players were great.

We loose jammed the first set, then the guy got plastered, passed out in the front seat of his car, and the gig ended with the bride screaming at the bass player and I that we'd ruined her wedding. And no one got paid.

Good times...

 

[chulaivet1966]

Who knows, it could be fun but, the last gig I played with him was just okay. Plus the material is usually music that I don't enjoy playing to begin with.

Howdy Jc21....

I have not read other responses but here's my take.

I truly understand the desire to play live if the venue and participants are a match.
But...it sounds like you might be second guessing your intuition which is based on previous experience.
The money would not be a determining factor for me....iit would be just shy of irrelevant.
I wouldn't take it but it's a judgement call.

Whatever your decision....do let us know how it came out as I hope it goes well either way.

Have a great weekend everyone....

 

[radiocaster]

Is it $350 each or you need to split it? If it's the latter, it's too little for making a fool of yourself in front of a group of people.

 

[archtop_fjk]

Rehearsal The gig is tomorrow and he asked me yesterday.

The "rehearsal" would be "can you send me a set list, with the keys?" which I would then put into my trusty iPad IReal book app.
I would read the tunes on the gig that I didn't know. That is how the majority of the "hired gun" gigs I play go. It's not for everyone but I am used to it at this point.

I had never heard of the IReal app and looked it up. Pretty cool practice app for musicians! I would still have to practice the gig music with the gig musicians to ensure that the intros and endings were worked out in advance (which is usually for me where things can go wrong…).