to marry or not to marry

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by omlove, Jun 6, 2019.

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  1. Jakethedog

    Jakethedog TDPRI Member

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    OP, after reading through the responses so far, my advice is DO NOT seek relationship advice here.

    Talk to your partner, friends and family. Some of these responses are just... wow.
     
  2. omahaaudio

    omahaaudio Friend of Leo's

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    I like marriage so much I'm on my second.

    Really. Marriage is awesome. Some times it works out, sometimes it doesn't, but I'd rather be married than single.

    Don't let other's problems have an effect on your decision.
     
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  3. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    also don't you EVER buy a diamond. It supports a blood trade, and it amazes me that in today's incredibly often otherwise PC world, diamonds are still a "thing".
     
  4. Manual Slim

    Manual Slim Tele-Afflicted

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    It’s primarily a business arrangement. If it benefits you then go for it.
     
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  5. omahaaudio

    omahaaudio Friend of Leo's

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    It looks like there's a hell of a lot of romantics on this forum.

    Nuts to you all. Enjoy your solitude.
     
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  6. BigDaddyLH

    BigDaddyLH Telefied Ad Free Member

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  7. Chunkocaster

    Chunkocaster Poster Extraordinaire

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    Those of you pointing out the transactional side of looking at it need to realise that many guys that entered into long term relationships thought love would see them through and got stung for it.
    Why does not getting married have to mean solitude?
    If a woman will leave you because you don't want to marry then do you think that she would be a good choice to enter a life long commitment with?
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2019
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  8. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I'm happy for you that your divorce has been kind to you
     
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  9. basher

    basher Tele-Afflicted

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    In the time I've typing out a response, everything I was going to say has been said. So yeah, marriage is fantastic--don't give too much credence to the He-Man Woman Hater's Club--but if you've got reservations, deal with them now and not after you've done the deed. Trust your gut.
     
  10. grolan1

    grolan1 Friend of Leo's

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    Married once WAY to young... just turned 19 - lasted 26 years until the kids left the house. Married again 3 years later - I must say if I would know what i know today I'm not 100% sure I'd marry again. One thing I do know, everyone changes and I think I see more changes after that special day then before... something to think about but everyone is unique. To me that changing is what can make marriages fall apart if you don't really, really work on things.
     
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  11. McGlamRock

    McGlamRock Friend of Leo's

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  12. bluebirdrad

    bluebirdrad Tele-Meister

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    Nowhere in your post do you say that you love her. She's the love of your life. You can't imagine life without her? Are you holding out for someone else you haven't met yet?. So if SHE wants to get married and YOU don't it's time to cut her loose -- she needs to move on with her life without you. Can you do that? If both of you feel marriage isn't for you as a couple, that's a different thing. But don't be selfish and string her along if you know in your heart she's not the one -- you will regret it later.....
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2019
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  13. brookdalebill

    brookdalebill Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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    I’m definitely in the Don’t camp.
    I deeply regret two of my three marriages.
    One was great, one was OK, one was a foolin’ nightmare.
    No matter what all of us sages;) tell you, if you have any doubts, DON’T.
    Marriage is a job, be sure you want that job.
    Commitment is a full time career.
    Quitting is unbelievable painful, on many levels.
     
  14. Piggy Stu

    Piggy Stu Friend of Leo's

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    I have 2 sisters with 3 divorces between them. My gf's mother is on husband number 3. To say marriages fail is just realistic, not hating women. Those marriages mainly failed due to the men

    Remember the divorce rate only shows the people with the guts to break up. Lots more disasters still wed
     
  15. guitartwonk

    guitartwonk Tele-Meister

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    This.

    Plus, can you imagine still wanting to be with her when you're in your 70s?

    I know this is gonna sound naïve, but marriage should be forever. You shouldn't go into it with the possibility of divorce in the back of your mind.

    It's not just a physical or even mental commitment. It's a spiritual commitment, which is why it's called a sacrament. Even if you're not religious (and I'm not especially), if you don't feel about it in those terms, then don't do it.

    FWIW, my wife and I had been together for eight years when we got married. By that point, we'd both seen the best and worst of each other and yet we still wanted to dedicate our lives to each other. For my part, what she sees in me I've no idea, but I'm not complaining.

    So, I can definitely vouch for giving it a few years before you commit. By that point you will know the answer, and when you're considering spending eternity together, what's a few years?

    Best of luck.






    Sent from my Phone using Tapatalk
     
  16. Blue Bill

    Blue Bill Poster Extraordinaire Ad Free Member

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    I'll agree with the advice: What are you doing on a guitar forum asking a question like this?

    My 2 cents: Three things matter, Do you love each other? Is she awesome? Do you have plenty of money? Money problems can make any marriage a dismal tragedy.

    BTW, around here, the rule is pictures, or it didn't happen. :D
     
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  17. Manual Slim

    Manual Slim Tele-Afflicted

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    Nah. No marriage necessary for that.
     
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  18. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Also the ones who never took their vows seriously in the first place, maybe.
    " 'Til death do you part" for aLOT of women really means "until something better comes a long"
     
  19. Chunkocaster

    Chunkocaster Poster Extraordinaire

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    Out of a group of 10 close friends i have known since school one has managed to remain married, several have failed at it more than once.
    Years ago when I was on facebook is was propositioned by several married girls I had known back in my late teens/ early 20's. They appeared to be in happy marriages on the surface.
     
  20. Muddslide

    Muddslide Friend of Leo's

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    Honestly, I'm "only" 50 but my bell has been rung numerous times between now and stretching back to when I was 37, even though I was married and twice a father at that time.

    I don't mean to sound "older and wiser" or play the "37 years old? Well, you're just a kid!" card at the OP, but at least for ME, at 37 I could not even begin to envision how I would feel about life or any aspect of it when I was 50, much less 70.

    People DO change.

    And I hope nothing I say comes across as MGTOW/He-Man Woman Hater stuff.

    I very much love and respect and admire women. I truly do. I consider them superior beings in fact, if I'm honest.

    But that does not mean they are all wonderful human beings, or that ANY two people, regardless of gender, can navigate through a lifelong, legally-binding relationship.
     
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