If you are in ca or another no fault divorce state just refuse. One of the most evil things done by the justice system is no fault divorce. The 2nd is every marriage needs a prenup, not just rich people. And it isnt patriarchy. The system is designed for the winner to always be the laziest and scummiest. And to turn people to their scummiest. I've seen the system screw the good husband and the good wife. Do a full on contract in a state that doesn't automatically nullify it. Specify kids, money, budgets, fidelity, debt, child rearing, sex expectations, health, weigh gain and even an amendment system. Try and define it to the point of breaking it. it probably will. Then let it. But if you really understand what you expect and you agree with what defines a marriage then go for it. Also go to a marriage and psyc class with study and homework. In fact, once you sign your own contract and define what YOUR marriage is then have your marriage with your contract and tell the system to F itself.