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to marry or not to marry

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by omlove, Jun 6, 2019.

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  1. Charlie Bernstein

    Charlie Bernstein Poster Extraordinaire

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    I sure did.
     
  2. Mike Eskimo

    Mike Eskimo Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Yep. Created by DeBeer’s. The whole engagement ring market.

    Same with diamond prices.

    If diamonds were priced according to how rare they actually are? They’d be sold by the ton...

    One of the few smart things I’ve ever done in my life was to wait until the US/Canadian currency exchange rate was way in our favor and then I took my then-fiancée on a 20 minute drive to Windsor ONT and we got an estate engagement ring from a jeweler for $14 or so.

    It might’ve been a little more than that but it was 20+ years ago and my brain don’t work too good...
     
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  3. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    You cad, you bought the car didn't you?
     
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  4. Chunkocaster

    Chunkocaster Poster Extraordinaire

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    Yes, a nice black sports pickup. I miss that car.
    It turned out to be a lot more reliable than her.:)
     
    Last edited: Jun 8, 2019
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  5. Manual Slim

    Manual Slim Friend of Leo's

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    I got married for health insurance. The license cost us fifty bucks. The wedding was in the lobby of a county correctional facility because that’s where the official was.
    Anecdotes!
     
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  6. Manual Slim

    Manual Slim Friend of Leo's

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    We’re all just here to pass the time, aren’t we?
     
  7. Manual Slim

    Manual Slim Friend of Leo's

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    :lol:
     
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  8. SnidelyWhiplash

    SnidelyWhiplash Friend of Leo's

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    Any woman who self describes herself as a diva/princess, you had better run screaming in the other direction!
     
  9. raysachs

    raysachs Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    If you look at marriage as a transactional agreement, I think you're absolutely right. But if you look at marriage as a transactional arrangement, you shouldn't get married.
     
  10. Chunkocaster

    Chunkocaster Poster Extraordinaire

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    It didn't last long after that. Apparently her father had taught her that and used to call her princess from time to time. High maintenance doesn't work for me.
     
  11. Chris Barrett

    Chris Barrett TDPRI Member

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    My 2 cents since you asked. I have never said any of this before but many of the replies I saw were, in my view, angry and unfortunate. For whatever your reasons, you have asked a serious life question into this anonymous medium that this quick, easy, nasty thumbs down stuff doesn’t measure to. I’ve been married 43 years. It has not always been perfect but neither has any other aspect of life or, for that matter, every dinner at my favorite restaurant. Overall I have been successful, fulfilled and would not change things to do it all over single or without my wife as she was and is. I love my wife. We know each other the good and the imperfections. That doesn’t mean I am in some kind of rapturous state all the time, this is reality. I have had a very adventurous and unusually active life, still do even though I am at an age many younger folks think I’m starting to be old. I don’t feel old unless I look in the mirror. Then I really appreciate that my wife sees that and is cool with it. I had no idea when I got married what it was. Nobody does. I had no idea what working or kids or anything else was over the long haul either. Now I don’t understand the idea of retirement and am not, partly because I can’t imagine it, somewhat like you and marriage I suppose. Being married can be very fulfilling and exceptionally valuable without being a fairy tale. It’s real, your wife is real, all that not perfect stuff comes with the real part along with the more magical things like loyalty, history, affection and desire. Imperfect, just like you. It has its own charm, it’s very appealing actually to not be required to be perfect with somebody. And I have very high standards for non boring and achievement. I have not had anything like a boring monotonous life. This married thing is the long game; optimizing every minute of every day will certainly de-optimize a life. Your worries are normal. With all respect, I disagree with the more negative comments here but, of course, your mileage may vary. I’d say expect uncertainty and some anxiety for everything important, push yourself but not to the point of crisis, do what you need to do and try to do the right thing in whatever you do. If you know you’re doing wrong, stop. If you can’t tell then you just have to keep going until you can see it more clearly but don’t wait for ideal anything, do it whatever it is. 2 cents.



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  12. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I was kind of wondering about the statement too. Was this something that developed later on in life, or?...
     
  13. Treadplatedual

    Treadplatedual Tele-Holic

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    My wife gave me an UPPER limit on an engagement ring. I spent less than 1k on the and the wedding band.

    Pray every night you find a woman like that.
     
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  14. Owenmoney

    Owenmoney Tele-Afflicted

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    He needed to point that out specifically, so she wouldn’t be confused with his sister Harvey


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  15. telemnemonics

    telemnemonics Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Yeah the whole engagement ring thing is pretty sick, and the racket of diamond sourcing and pricing plus the suggestion that a couple just starting out should tie up big money in a useless object that is supposed to symbolize love because the advertisements say so is just crazy.

    IMO this is a test.
    If she demands a big expensive diamond in exchange for a yes, that can be considered a no!

    I asked without a ring, then we went shopping at flea markets!
    Found a cute little 18 carat gold ring that we figure was maybe a Victorian era sweet 16 ring with a little old mine cut diamond.
    I almost felt bad to only spend $175 plus I forget how much to size it, but she loved it and it was practical within our means.

    We did buy our wedding rings brand new, but that was also for her parents who really wanted to participate in the whole first born getting married celebration.

    Another test for the couple after agreeing on the engagement ring foolishness is wedding planning!
    Skip the expensive wedding planner and DIY.
    If a couple can manage to plan their own wedding they might have a chance.
    If working on planning a wedding is too stressful for the happy couple, maybe skip the whole thing.

    How 'bout the foolish prices of "the wedding dress"?

    There are ways to get around all the sick rackets, but if one likes them and the other doesn't, maybe that's something to look at.

    I mean what in life doesn't have some sort of racket leeching off our needs and wants?
    Employment, buying cars and homes, vacations, air travel, cell phone plans, TV and internet, guitar gear, plumbers electricians and roofers, death and taxes. We can get screwed in all these situations, but most of us take a look at what we're buying before signing.
    Or do we? I don't really know but it seems like here we have rants about plenty of basic stuff like mailing a package or changing guitar strings.

    Everywhere we turn there's stuff to navigate and complain about.

    Fall for the rackets of marriage, or go into it with more assumptions of bliss than discussion of actual shared goals?
    And worse still assume that it will last a life time, then freak out when it doesn't?
    Further, amass shared assets and get upset that dividing them up is hard?
    And finally hand the hard part over to a divorce lawyer whose interests are getting paid, not helping the couple make a smooth transition out of what used to be a nice thing and went wrong?

    Rackets rackets and more rackets!

    Getting burned in all these rackets and then insisting all women (or all men) are bad and can't be trusted?
    Blame the rackets.
     
  16. Owenmoney

    Owenmoney Tele-Afflicted

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    Spending close to a hundred grand on weddings that don’t last a year ! Not very PRICELESS !


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  17. P Thought

    P Thought Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    Damn rackets!
     
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  18. jondanger

    jondanger Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    When I told my mom that I was going to ask my wife to marry me, she put together a few rings that she thought she could part with. Then she went to tell my grandmother and show her what all she was going to let me choose from.

    My grandmother said “all those rings stink, give him this one,” and handed her a pretty modest, but sweet and simple diamond ring. Family jewelry is best if it’s available IMO.
     
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  19. bftfender

    bftfender Poster Extraordinaire

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    guitartwonk said:
    Not IME. This is no more true than men turning into their fathers. . . .

    I am in great position in life then..my Dad & both Grandfathers..1 Marriage & 1 job..and very old school-- know their roles & just do it men..my hero's for sure
     
  20. Owenmoney

    Owenmoney Tele-Afflicted

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    For those who think this has been just an attack by men who hate women, there are an awful lot of posts by men who love, cherish and adore their wives.
    Like many of you I’ve seen both sides of the marriage coin. Luckily this time I’ve hit the jackpot. She is my equal or better in everything except playing guitar. Not that I’m any good, but she will tell you she can play one chord, a D.
    Many of you have said don’t come to a guitar forum for advice, well why not. We are human beings too. We have lots of life experiences, many positive, many negative. However hearing both sides of the issue makes for more informed decisions.
    Most of the men and women on here seem to be really decent ,nice people. I like the TDPRI and Strat Talk crowds, and I don’t really like people all that much. So that says something about this place and the people it attracts.


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    Last edited: Jun 8, 2019
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