Threadkiller Contest

Discussion in 'Epic Threads' started by P Thought, Jun 21, 2016.

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  1. telemutilator

    telemutilator Tele-Meister

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    coke burp, burning my nose... ouch did I win?
     
  2. w3stie

    w3stie Poster Extraordinaire

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    No, you're good.
     
  3. Stringbanger

    Stringbanger Telefied Ad Free Member

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    image.gif This thread is absurdly frivolous!
     
  4. bender66

    bender66 Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    You've described me to a T.
     
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  5. fendertx

    fendertx Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    I dare you to post after this!!!

    If you post after this we will call you a dirty, lint licking, booger eating, moron!:p:p
     
  6. telemutilator

    telemutilator Tele-Meister

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    I'm a dirty lint licking, booger eatin,' moron and I like kittens medium well.
     
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  7. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Wait, are you secretly Brad Paisley? Wow!
     
  8. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. The waitress, taking an order at another table a few paces away, couldn't help but notice the man slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, yet the woman dining across from him appeared unconcerned.
    The waitress continued to watch as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.

    Once the waitress had finished taking the order, she walked over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."

    The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "No he didn't. My husband just walked in the door."
     
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  9. 24 track

    24 track Doctor of Teleocity

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    I think milk comes from Cats!
     
  10. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    One day, a teacher was taking a maths class in 5th grade. He had just finished with the chapter "Prime numbers". He told the students to do exercise 1 and gave them 15 minutes. After 15 minutes, he asked the students, "Are you done?". Everyone replied in unison,"Yes". "Do you have any doubts?" One of the students replied,"Yes, sir". "What is it?", asked the teacher. "Is 5 a prime number?", asked the student. "Yes", replied the teacher.
     
  11. kelnet

    kelnet Telefied Ad Free Member

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    So, how are we determining a winner in this contest? Are we going back through all the threads in which we've posted and counting the ones we "killed?" Or are we keeping track of all the threads from this moment onward?

    Wait, is this an actual contest, or just a pretext for another nonsense thread in which we all just post silly things?

    Wankel rotary engine.
     
  12. tery

    tery Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    bump
     
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  13. telemutilator

    telemutilator Tele-Meister

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    o.k. this thread appears to be ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________countdown to killed thread 10, 9, 8.....
     
  14. 4pickupguy

    4pickupguy Poster Extraordinaire

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    What tonewood sounds best for a tele body? I like Basswood...

    And you?

    ( Amatures!, You guys are placing for second. Let me show you how this is done...)
     
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  15. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    When I was ten years old, I got up one morning during summer vacation from school and decided to ride to the mountains. I lived in McFarland California and did not know the mountains were about 60 miles away, they looked like they were just a little way over there. I rode along the blacktop road at the edge of town out to a cement canal. The mountains still looked as far away as when I started.

    I parked my bike and got off and sat on the bridge and watched the water go by under the bridge for about an hour. I didn't see a dead cow float by like I had heard about from the big kids. I noticed a piece of rope tied to the edge of the bridge, I grabbed hold of it, and pulled a stringer of fish out of the water that someone had left there. I started home on my bike since I had given up on riding to the mountains. I noticed the fish had stopped squirming and had gotten you know kind of hard. So I carefully removed all the fish, and kept the stringer, I pitched the fish in a ditch along side the road because I didn't know what to do with them.

    I rode on home, it was getting pretty late in the day, I parked my bike and went back out and sat down on the car stop in the driveway of the camp where I lived and watched the sun go down across the tracks by the gin yard across the road from where I lived. Summer vacation is cool.
     
  16. Jupiter

    Jupiter Telefied Silver Supporter

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    [​IMG]
     
  17. Jupiter

    Jupiter Telefied Silver Supporter

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    Hey, I didn't sign up for no liderchure* contest!

    *sp??
     
  18. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    One day I learned to swim all by myself. My daddy (when I still had one) had tried to teach me how to swim by throwing me in a branch, but since I kept sinking to the bottom he had to jump in and pull me out of the water or risk getting in trouble because I had drowned, or possibly from burying me without a permit. (which I didn't know anything about at the time.)

    We had left Alabama and arrived in the promised land and my momma and daddy were working in a tater shed. I was supposed to hang around and stay out of everyone's way. I kind of snuck off on down the road until I came to one of those cement canals that seem to everywhere in California. I kind of got down next to the water and my brogans kind of started sliding and pretty soon I was in the water! I kept thinking about those times I had sunk to the bottom back in Alabama in the branch down from the house. Anyway I got to kicking and paddling something fierce and it wasn't doing much good, except to keep me from drowning 'cause the water was running pretty fast.

    I saw something the looked like a board lying across the canal, some kind of walkway, and I grabbed onto it, and climbed up on it, and found some handrails not far from it and climbed up the concrete wall. I walked back to the tater shed where I found daddy looking for me. He saw my clothes all wet, and pulled off his belt and grabbed me by one hand and started whooping me good. I kept saying I won't do it no more which usually caused him to let up when he was whooping me. I finally blurted out, I learned how to swim today, and he quit whooping me. He was so proud!
     
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  19. fendertx

    fendertx Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    I had hoped that would work!;)
     
  20. 4pickupguy

    4pickupguy Poster Extraordinaire

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    Ok, you guys have left me no choice here but to go "nuclear option"

    [​IMG]
     
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