Things That Get On Your Nerves

Chester P Squier

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Reading over some of the posts, it looks like TDPRIers are getting on one another's nerves!

I'm just glad this thread hasn't been locked. Yet.

(I hope that didn't give the mods ideas!)
 

HootOwlDude

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People who say things like “This is he,” or, even worse, “These are they,” as if they are privy to grammatical gentility the rest of us louts are too uncultured to understand. Also, when people pronounce maturity with a hard T, as in mah-TER-i-tee. Annoying.
 
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HootOwlDude

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1. Where on a TV show someone will meet up with someone at a restaurant, order a drink and then leave shortly without touching the drink (and of course they have the exact amount of cash to throw down. They never need change).

2. When driving and there is a merge because of construction and someone goes past all the cars and tries to merge at the very end. Secretly I hope they crash into the guard rail.

3. People that go on and on because they like to hear themselves talk. Sometimes I need to go to the bathroom and don't need you to talk through the door.

4. People that say "living the dream". I usually say something original like " I'm pretty stoked. I got a new woodchipper. I just need a 2x4 to push the bodies, I mean branches down".

5. Waitresses that after bringing the food then say "enjoy". Do I look like I need instructions?

6. Product packaging that takes an hour to open and then leave me with marks on my hand from stabbing the package with sissors.

7. Bass players. They always seem to need money.

8. Mosquitoes and wasps. Why and who put them here.

9. TV commercials where everyone is all excited because Taco Bell has a new product ( it is all the same ingredients anyway). Nobody gets excited.

10. YouTube videos with click bait where someone has a facial expression that I have never ever once used in my life.

11. Books that start with "Once upon a time". I need exact dates.
I love your first one. I always notice that!
 

fenderchamp

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Not sure how you are applying that math?
I commuted in Boston rush hour including the never ending road repair messes, so Ive done some alternate equations including 30 miles watching the same rabid squirrel car fight like a demon to arrive in Boston 30 seconds ahead of me, while they have a heart attack for 40 minutes.
So:

Like ten miles of traffic restricted to one lane when there are two lanes and the outcome is actual lost flow?

Or the last 500 feet of two lanes merging into one lane where 99% of cars merge cooperatively and 1% speed up then cut in at the very end?

Some seem to feel it is righteous to speed up and cut other drivers off as an improvement to efficiency?
Or their Machiavellian fantasy video game of live subjects?
Ideally, it should act like a zipper and if people fill both lanes up from the start and don't pre-merge and let stuff stack up for miles it should be simple geometry (width x length) = area solving for length. I still claim the it should be safer and less intrusive for everyone, I don't know about faster or not though.

I think the people's fear of merging and that they or that they won't let back, and their certain knowledge that some people are selfish and won't let them back in in keeps them in the open lane. I guess there are always fascists/wolves among the communists/sheep and it makes zipper merging either troublesome or problematic.

I don't think you can equate waiting in the open lane with being cooperative though. The waiting is the initial lack of faith either from fear or selfishness that starts the whole problem in motion.

Attempting to prevent this is exactly why traffic engineers have "Stay in your land signs" on the freeways before construction sites and and spots where traffic compresses and then splits back out.
 

Peegoo

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People who should know better (i.e., reporters) that swallow their T's.

It's pronounced "Brittish," not "Bri'ish."

If you're a third grader, you get a pass. If you're an adult, go back to school.
 

nvilletele

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Most kids take drivers ed class, but it's terrible. Still, this isn't a driving skill, and we are a long way from "professional". This is a basic rule of the road, a rule made by car drivers, for car drivers.
It is ridiculous that people think they should merge the moment a sign announces that a lane is closing ahead for construction. They get over right away for their own convenience, then get angry when everyone doesn't wait behind them for the bottleneck they created. Then post on the internet about it because it never even occurred to them they might be wrong.
I took driver’s ed in high school.

Mr McFadden, a social studies teacher who served as driving instructor, once said to me, as I was driving, “Do you have an appointment after class?” After I said no, he said “ well then, no need to hurry. Slow down.”

The other great line was how he taught you to parallel park between two cars. “Put the car in reverse, and back up slowly, turning the wheel first one way then the next as you fit into the space. Then as you are still backing up, listen for the crunch. When you hear the crunch, stop.”
 

getbent

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folks who start sentences or posts with 'actually'

when you are doing a kindness for someone and they always try to turn it around to be self serving (ex. Hi, my internet is down, me: if you have already tried restarting it etc, I'll come over and take a look. her: why, oh, you probably just want to get out right?)

People who imply they need a favor and when you offer, they say, 'oh I feel so bad'

people who ask leading questions without context in an attempt to manipulate you

people who when it is evident they are mistaken about something, ignore it.

selfish people who are situationally unaware.
 

effzee

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“I love mankind. It’s people I can’t stand.”
~ Linus Van Pelt
I actively scan the internet looking for opportunities to post this 👇🏼

jack-handey-quote-lbi7j1g.jpg


😅
 

EstebanRey

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...Well, you merged too early. You deserve to be behind the people who did it right.
I'll start by pointing out the wonderful irony of someone with the username "Bottlenecker" educating the masses about reducing the impact of a bottleneck.
I'm amazed that I've never heard of this. It seems so obvious to me that unused pavement contributes to traffic jams, and always intuitively known that the early mergers were complete sociopaths who got a kick out of knowing traffic was backed up behind them. Okay, sociopath might be an extreme choice of words, but since you agree, I'm going to stand by it. Thanks for providing me some confirmation.
Since we're on the topic of unused highway, I'd like to also mention that those of you who think the left lane is reserved for the fastest driver are also completely wrong and in need of therapy. Statutes saying the left lane is for passing only almost always include the caveat that it does not apply within the limits of any city. I'm not saying it's okay to just hang in the left and go the speed limit, but an entire lane of freeway that nobody wants to use is a major reason the other two lanes are so congested. And think about it. Building highways in the city is ridiculously expensive. Do you really think taxpayers paid millions to buy the fastest speeder his own dedicated lane? Doesn't sound like something I'd do.
 

bottlenecker

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I'll start by pointing out the wonderful irony of someone with the username "Bottlenecker" educating the masses about reducing the impact of a bottleneck.
I'm amazed that I've never heard of this. It seems so obvious to me that unused pavement contributes to traffic jams, and always intuitively known that the early mergers were complete sociopaths who got a kick out of knowing traffic was backed up behind them. Okay, sociopath might be an extreme choice of words, but since you agree, I'm going to stand by it. Thanks for providing me some confirmation.
Since we're on the topic of unused highway, I'd like to also mention that those of you who think the left lane is reserved for the fastest driver are also completely wrong and in need of therapy. Statutes saying the left lane is for passing only almost always include the caveat that it does not apply within the limits of any city. I'm not saying it's okay to just hang in the left and go the speed limit, but an entire lane of freeway that nobody wants to use is a major reason the other two lanes are so congested. And think about it. Building highways in the city is ridiculously expensive. Do you really think taxpayers paid millions to buy the fastest speeder his own dedicated lane? Doesn't sound like something I'd do.

I was waiting for someone to catch that. Thank you. I, bottlenecker, am here to complain about bottleneckers.

I think I technically agree with you about the left lane, but I never see an unused left lane. All I see is a clogged bumper-to-bumper left lane, with two sparsely used lanes to the right of it. (And, of course not talking about city streets. Only divided highways with on ramps and exits on the right.)
The sparsely populated right lane is people going the same speed as the few in the left lane with the long lines of angry followers, so there's no getting around.

Just last weekend I was on an interstate at a busy time, and there were lit-up signs along the highway that said "camp in the woods, not the left lane". The worst clog I saw in the left lane was a pickup pulling a camper, and they were very much camped in the left lane. I accepted my fate in the much, much less crowded middle lane, and just had to dodge the occasional knievels trying to get around the camper.
Who's the bottlenecker now?
 
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Toto'sDad

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I was waiting for someone to catch that. Thank you. I, bottlenecker, am here to complain about bottleneckers.

I think I technically agree with you about the left lane, but I never see an unused left lane. All I see is a clogged bumper-to-bumper left lane, with two sparsely used lanes to the right of it. (And, of course not talking about city streets. Only divided highways with on ramps and exits on the right.)
The sparsely populated right lane is full of people going the same speed as the few in the left lane with the long lines of angry followers, so there's no getting around.

Just last weekend I was on an interstate at a busy time, and there were lit-up signs along the highway that said "camp in the woods, not the left lane". The worst clog I saw in the left lane was a pickup pulling a camper, and they were very much camped in the left lane. I accepted my fate in the much, much less crowded middle lane, and just had to dodge the occasional knievels trying to get around the camper.
Who's the bottlenecker now?
It's become pretty common place here for those in the left turn lane when they become frustrated with the wait, to exit into through traffic that is NOT STOPPED!
 

nvilletele

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I actively scan the internet looking for opportunities to post this 👇🏼

View attachment 1026970

😅

Reminds me a little of Professor Irwin Corey’s old bit, where he is taking questions from he audience, and someone asks him “Why do you wear sneakers?”

His response is that this question has two parts.

The first part is “Why?” And then he goes on and on about how man has from prehistory been searching for meaning and reasons and so forth for millennia. “But will man ever truly know the answer to “Why?” I think not.”

“The second party of your question is “Do you wear sneakers?” and to that my answer is “yes.”
 

nvilletele

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folks who start sentences or posts with 'actually'

Actually, there are times when this is warranted, or at least acceptable. As when one is contradicting another’s assertion. Well, at least it’s better than starting with “You fool!” or the like. Certainly better than the old Ackroyd line from SNL: “Jane, you ignorant slut!”
people who ask leading questions without context in an attempt to manipulate you

You’d really prefer a raven over a writing desk, wouldn’t you?

people who when it is evident they are mistaken about something, ignore it.

Please disregard my previous responses, as I have already done.
selfish people who are situationally unaware.

I’ve never been aware of that applying to me.
 




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