The Turd Polish Guitar Owners Club

northernguitar

Poster Extraordinaire
Joined
Jan 18, 2009
Posts
5,671
Location
North of Toronto
I made it, inkjet waterslides Reverse-print-outline, gold-paint-on-the-backside method for the Golden... I think I just used yellow sharpie on the steamin' pile, if I remember correct

Totally regret not making the S/N #002. Would have been way better.
Well, I couldn't stop myself. I found a decal designer on etsy and had the following made:

icm_fullxfull.425368826_44e1smornha8wwg44wwo.jpg


The SweatHogs has been my band name for over a decade, and we do identify as such. I admit, I stole the #002, but kept the moniker 'Turdcaster', which I've been using for years.
 

Wildeman

Tele-Afflicted
Joined
Aug 17, 2020
Posts
1,068
Age
51
Location
Norcal
My absolute favorite low end find, the Squire SE Strat, these get lumped in with Bullets and Affinities all the time, wayyyyy better, more on par with a Standard actually. I've never paid more than 100 bux for one and just got this one for 89.00, i mod them into some real killers.
20220219_073527.jpg
here's one that's done.
20220307_180438.jpg
even got a flamed out neck
20220307_180454.jpg
 

Happy Enchilada

Friend of Leo's
Gold Supporter
Joined
Mar 25, 2021
Posts
3,566
Location
God's Country
I intercepted a young sk8 dude walking to a pawn shop with a Bridgecraft strat in candy-apple red and a Vox 15R in-hand.

Told him "I'll give you ten dollars more than whatever the pawn guy offers."

Three minutes later I'm out $65.

LODLDu9z_o.jpg


FktrjvbE_o.jpg


sprayed with 2 rattle cans $2 ea. In the Canadian Tire bargain bin.
Added a loaded guard from Dragonfire.

Reboxed the PF into a bass combo box found at the recycle center and gutted - added a 12" speaker. Shown below with another cleaned up bottom-feeder purchase from a thrift shop for a tenner).

aJQ9dpmS_o.jpg

The old Japa-Prestige was a 100% working (after repairs) but super-awful guitar requiring alcohol consumption to enjoy. A collector of such instruments now owns it, I hope he's OK.
Where do you get the Turdocaster decals?
And how much for a gallon of turd polish? ;)
 

Frisco 57

Tele-Holic
Joined
Jan 8, 2012
Posts
810
Location
Arlington WA
Well, I couldn't stop myself. I found a decal designer on etsy and had the following made:

icm_fullxfull.425368826_44e1smornha8wwg44wwo.jpg


The SweatHogs has been my band name for over a decade, and we do identify as such. I admit, I stole the #002, but kept the moniker 'Turdcaster', which I've been using for years.
I think I found that same guy also who printed up this one for me.

IMG_4473.jpg
 

radtz

Tele-Afflicted
Joined
May 30, 2021
Posts
1,219
Location
Wisconsin, USA
Here are 3 of mine: A Squier Standard Strat, a Global/Harmony H-801 and a mix of a 70's Epiphone acoustic neck and a GFS closeout body.

The Strat was $27 because the previous owner's cat had urinated on it. Protecting from such accidents is something the poly finish does quite well. A new pickguard, bridge assembly and electronics were needed to fix it up, along with a deodorization session.

The H-801 was bought at a storage unit auction as part of a lot of "restaurant décor". For my $20, I not only got the guitar but fake fish nets, plastic sea creatures and other such junk. Apparently it had hung on the wall next to the bandstand at a restaurant/bar for years.

The Epiphone acoustic I bought at a local thrift store for $25. Unfortunately, the body was too warped to fix without significant effort. But, the neck was good. So, since Epiphones of that era were bolt-on, I bought an odd body from GFS and paired it up with the neck.

View attachment 958428
I want a P!sscaster now!
 

radtz

Tele-Afflicted
Joined
May 30, 2021
Posts
1,219
Location
Wisconsin, USA
I help out an organization called "Guitars For Kids" who collect donated guitars and amps, fix them up and give them to kids who would otherwise not be able to afford a guitar.

Anyway, here is a guitar that was dropped off to me to deal with. besides the finger painting, the wiring was a mess, the volume pot was toast and someone had tried to rewire it with a hot glue gun instead of a soldering gun. Well it took a few parts and a LOT of elbow grease but when i was done it played pretty darn good. Some kid was very happy to get it.

View attachment 958450

View attachment 958451
Wait wait wait..... Did he say hot glue gun????
 

Ronzo

Tele-Afflicted
Joined
Mar 10, 2016
Posts
1,966
Age
70
Location
South Florida, USA
Reminds me of what a RE Agent said after I toured a particularly unattractive and way out of date house with him. (Houses in the area that were reasonable purchases were about $200K+ at the time).

"You could offer $150K. Trouble is, they might take it".
I made that same mistake. I low-ball offered on a 1978 Chevy Nova. Worst vehicle I ever owned. Truly a money pit.
 

Si G X

Friend of Leo's
Joined
Dec 8, 2019
Posts
2,897
Location
England
Reading through this thread I'm pretty sure most of my guitars would be considered turds. .... but I have polished them into nice playing and sounding guitars.

My white guitar is finished with a can of white car primer from the pound shop with some tru-oil over the top (just a couple of coats though, what was left in the bottle)
 

Wound_Up

Tele-Afflicted
Joined
Feb 11, 2020
Posts
1,063
Age
41
Location
Shreveport, LA
Hey there! This thread is dedicated to those who took a guitar destined for the dump, and against their better judgement and advice or opinions from others, decided to fix it up. ;)

My contribution is my Turdcaster©. I was lured into buying a Yamaha Pacifica that was listed as MIJ. Dumb me, I shoulda got more details. I drove down to the city, looking for the deal of a lifetime, and when I got there I was presented with the dirtiest nasty Taiwanese-made Pacifica. Disappointed, I offered $50 and got it.

At home, my suspicions were correct, I had a $50 turd. This was not going to be fixed quickly. When I took off the pickguard, there was dust and crumbling wires. I took it apart and assessed what it needed. It became evident...everything had to be replaced.

HTBcWMb.jpg

nIA9geZ.jpg


I decided to go for broke. I told my wife of my plans and she playfully snickered, 'You wont refinish that.' I said, 'Oh Yeah?!!'

I lost pics of the work, but I stripped it of it's hard poly shell and refinished it with a natural stain and lighter poly finish. Yes, it does have a 6-piece body, meant for a paint job. It's my kitchen cutting board body, now. The old bridge was beyond gross, so I installed a Wilkinson full-block vibrato bridge. Of course, the old holes didn't line up, so out came the dowels. The electronics were kaput, so all got replaced. I added knurled chrome knobs. Neighbours kid cut me a custom pickguard, not quite a pro-job. I made it an SSS setup with Fender TexMex Pickups. It came out looking like this.

fFEbsc4.jpg


And, for years, I hardly used it. The frets had been filed to near nothing, and I found them too low to enjoy playing it. The fun of using the vibrato lost it's shine because without locking tuners, it went out of tune on one dive.

Last year, I found a Pacifica 312 for sale with a case for $100. I picked it up and it was almost as bad as the first. Kid who owned it carved his initials into the back of the headstock. However, the frets had lots of meat and the rosewood board was nice and dark.

I brought it to the amazing Freddy Gabrsek in Niagara-On-The-Lake. He gave the frets the full Freddy G treatment, added a custom bone nut and set it up like a champ. He was digging on it and I gotta admit, it finally sounded amazing. I just replaced the tuners with some Hipshots and their amazing 'universal mounting plate'. It all came together nicely and plays as well as any of my guitars.

View attachment 958375
View attachment 958376
View attachment 958377
View attachment 958379
View attachment 958382

In the end, I have about $500 in this (including Freddy G's work), and obviously could have bought something off the shelf. But dang, this guitar has something, despite it's turd-like appearance.

Let's see those turds!

Nice! Reminds me of Kenny Wayne Shepherd's reclaimed pine Strat with a natural finish that he plays all the time. It sounds incredible!
 

Wound_Up

Tele-Afflicted
Joined
Feb 11, 2020
Posts
1,063
Age
41
Location
Shreveport, LA
All of my guitars could be considered turds. I paid $40 for one of em, a dark blue Silvertone SS15 "Strat" with rosewood fretboard. Got it from Shop Goodwill when I was looking for an extra OEM pickguard for my other Silvertone SS10 Strat. That ones black/maple.

I found a pickguard. It just had a guitar attached to it, still. Lol. That being the SS15. So instead of using the pickguard, I just left it on the guitar. So I modified one guitar and left one "stock". The stock guitar, the SS15, has a Fender Mexican big block trem and Fender locking tuners but otherwise it's stock.

The SS10 got a Guitar Madness 59'er humbucker installed in the bridge. I'm not too big on that one. It sounds pretty bad compared to the Seymour Duncan 59 in my gold top.

There's more but I'll stop here for now.

My guitars and 2 of my amps, a Stage Right 15w from Monoprice and a Fender Mustang II V1. The gold top is also from Monoprice. It's their 66 DLX Plus Gold Top with humbuckers. They have one with P90s also. And a burst with humbuckers, which I just ordered. Already sent 1 back that had a cracked neck. You can see it below, also.

For the price and what you get, Indio > Epiphone by a large margin.


20220417_113248.jpg

20220415_145730.jpg
20220415_145723.jpg
 
Last edited:

Skyhook

Friend of Leo's
Joined
Aug 12, 2014
Posts
2,270
Location
Turku, Finland
Pretty awful way to describe anyone's child, you know nothing about that family, yet you judge them based on a 30 second view of their circumstances.

First impressions are oftentimes all we have to go by to base further decisions on.
Is it ideal? Of course not. We(as a species) are getting increasingly accurate at it, however.
This is also why stereotypes are generally accurate if applied to "most" instead of "all".
 

3of5

TDPRI Member
Joined
Jul 7, 2020
Posts
9
Location
Washington
This is one I wouldn't suggest anyone try, in fact, the way it turned out was probably a total fluke. I'll take luck any day though.

IMG_2357 copy.jpg


I bought a beat up, Made in Korea (approx. 1998) Hamer Sunburst for $100 to use as a wall decoration at work. I put new strings on it and it still sounded dull and wooley. A total dog. I eventually got tired of it as a wall ornament and decided to grind off the super clubby shoulders of the D shaped neck and turn it into a 1 5/8" C shape and also make a belly cut and forearm contour. What the heck, it was a $100 dog. Of course it became ugly as sin, but, because I kept tweaking the shape of the neck to fit my hand and the shape of the contours to fit my body shape, it became the most comfortable guitar I had ever played.

063 copy.jpg


Still sounded crappy so I put a couple of nice bright pickups and new wiring and electronics from my parts drawer. Still a total dog. Tossed it behind my wood scrape pile in the garage and forgot about it. A couple of years later I came across the Sunburst again while cleaning out the garage. Plugged it in and it still sounded dead. I was going to toss it in the trash barrel when I decided to conduct an experiment. I thought that perhaps if I subtracted wood I might fundamentally change the way the guitar vibrated.....or not.

062 copy.jpg


I used a 12" long 1/2" drill bit and drilled as many holes from the perimeter as possible. Unfortunately, I was not so careful as I might have been doing this as I thought I was going to soon toss the guitar into the trash. I took out more than 1/2 pound of mahogany from the body, creating a large chamber. When I strummed it it definitely sounded louder acoustically. I put the electronics and pickups back in and plugged it in again and was astonished by the now beautifully airy and harmonically rich sound. It sounded how I imagine a hollow SG might sound. It was actually more hollow sounding than my friends 335.

001 copy.jpg


At that point I put my 2 USA Hamers into their cases and soon sold them. This was my #1 guitar for 2 years until my adult daughter asked to be gifted it. I still get play it when I visit her. Still sounds and feels wonderful to play.

091 copy.jpg



I stripped off all of the finish off the back and sanded off part of the red/orange burst on the front and turned it into a steampunk relic. I actually used tiny brushes and custom mixed paint to carry the flame pattern onto the forearm contour area. I also added a new volume knob close to the bridge pickup in the Strat style (I only played a Strat for 20 years).

IMG_4351 small.jpg


Has a Dimarzio 36th Anniversary in the bridge and 2 single coils I stuffed into the neck pickup ring; an Area '67 and a Virtual Solo.

094 copy copy.jpg
 

northernguitar

Poster Extraordinaire
Joined
Jan 18, 2009
Posts
5,671
Location
North of Toronto
^^^That turd floats! Great job and good on you to get this thread moving again…seemed a little backed up…c’mon, and proudly display those turds!!!
 

Blazer

Doctor of Teleocity
Ad Free Member
Joined
Dec 2, 2003
Posts
17,686
Age
46
Location
The Netherlands
Nineties era “Hudson” branded strat copy with a broken headstock, a couple layers of sky blue and several more layers of bicycle lacquer and this is the result.
DSC03206.JPG
 




New Posts

Top