The power of positivity and quality of life.

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by RevMike, Jan 25, 2017.

  1. RevMike

    RevMike Poster Extraordinaire

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    So, this has been quite a "thing" for me lately, and I'm wondering what some of my TDPRI friends' take on the science of our personal energy might be.

    I've just come out of the absolute WORST year (on multiple levels) in my life. Crushing financial blows, weeks on end away from home, health problems, job stress....you name it. By the end of this past summer, it was getting to the point where I couldn't eat. I was losing weight (not the good way) and I felt like a ticking time bomb. I wouldn't sleep for days...it was just not good. It took some good friends (including some on this very forum) to point out that if I didn't make some adjustments in my life, it would be a limited engagement.

    So, after much thought, and advice from friends, I decided to attempt to purge my life of as much negative energy as possible. Looking only for the good in people and situations. Not allowing things that I cannot control to bother me as much. Valuing the blessings I have in my life, like 4 good, respectful, hardworking children, and an amazing wife who holds things together while I'm on the road. Positive energy only. It was not easy at first. Especially when things come at you at the pace I was getting it. But slowly things began to seem...well....not so bad.

    Then, the night before Thanksgiving, I was out on the road alone in the middle of nowhere, in the dead of night, and my car broke down in a McDonalds parking lot. I started to completely panic and lose it. I remember sitting there thinking that this was it. Chuck it all, I just cant take anymore. Then as if by divine intervention, a small handful of strangers in McDonald's stepped into my life and took over. A young woman who spoke no English, brought me coffee and showed me photos of her kids. Two young men left their posts at the cash register to try and get my car going. Anxiety began to fade and I began to feel that perhaps this was a test. A turning point. Finally the tow truck company owner showed up and started up my car, taking no payment other than the promise to swing by and buy him a coffee someday when I was passing through.

    On this day, I truly had an epiphany. I realized that no matter how bad things get, there's always a way out. The sun will still come up tomorrow and provide you with another day and another chance to get things right. And if you try to be good and seek good, then good things will happen to you. Our lives are all about energy and balance. And when we change the way we look at things, the things we look at will change. Since this day, I can't tell you how much my quality of life has improved. Yes, I'm still struggling. Yeah, I worry a bit, but no longer to the point of making myself ill. And....things are starting to improve in my life too. I even have a new job opportunity on the horizon. No turning back for me.

    I've always been a pretty positive person, but we all have our tipping point. Its what happens next that matters. I never took too much stock in things like "positive energy" and chakras and chi and Karma and all that. Now...well my outlook has changed and I can truly feel it physically. I'm sure there has to be some science to it, who knows? I do know its making my life better.
     
  2. BigDaddyLH

    BigDaddyLH Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Inspiring, story, RevMike. I heed this advice

    I don't know if you can give a scientific spin to it, humans are too messy to be explained so neatly.
     
  3. TMMC

    TMMC Tele-Afflicted

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    Wonderful post, RevMike.

    I'm sorry to hear about the year you had; seems like there's a lot of that going around, for myself too in many ways.

    Perspective has every bit as much importances as any scientific or evidential method for coping with negativity. Yes, I had a difficult year with my spouse in some ways, I did see my son off to another part of the country, I had health issues come up, I lost some friends to death, job stress, etc. However, by shifting my perspective consciously to say, "I've seen worse. Things could be worse. I am okay. My life is fine, and life is good," I've been able to reroute much of the naturally occurring negativity or sorrow and redirect it in, if nothing else, a more productive direction.

    Each of us has a reality we call our own. Others can somewhat understand ours, perhaps, but no one but each one of us respectively understands our own realities. That means we are the only ones perfectly equipped to handle things, too. It's a tremendous load because we must confront and acknowledge that we are, in fact, directly in control of how we react, how we handle, how to run our lives. We may not be able to control everything that comes at us, and certainly we can't, but that doesn't mean we can't control how to handle it.

    What you've done is prove that we are able to determine our own satisfaction, or at the very least, choose how we feel. It's quite amazing, epiphanies such as yours. I've had one or two, and they were game changers. The realization of the amount of accountability and responsibility we have for our own lives is matched only by the freedom we gain at the same time. Freedom from our negativity, from our unnecessary worries, from fear and doubts. Choose positivity, and it will choose you in time.
     
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  4. uriah1

    uriah1 Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I always thought I was positive, however, my wife and our bass player call me Dr. Doom since
    I talk about 'what if's' so much.

    I am trying to get that controlled., and remember, every day above ground is a good day!
     
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  5. 24 track

    24 track Doctor of Teleocity Silver Supporter

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    Im glad you had some positives in an otherwise negative situation, and you were able to work through it, GOOD FOR YOU!
    your on a right track to move forward,good post!

    I've always went with the addage that when your back is against the wall reach behind you there is always a door knob to move you to a new adventure , so far that has worked for me and kept me positive in some really adverse situations and Im still here breathing. this does not mean I dont emote from time to time I just handle it differently in my mind.
     
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  6. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    RevMike, you have cheered me up a few times, and I thank you for that. This is just another example of that

    You know, part of me is afraid of being that guy, that, no matter what happens, he's happy-go-lucky. Like I'm afraid that "if I let my guard down" that much, everything will go to hell.

    It's a juggling act for sure, being someone who is mindful and prevantative as much as possible, and yet not being someone who worries too much , especially over things out of their control. And then again, recognizing what is actually within one's control...

    Sometimes I think I think too much. Thank God for sleep and music
     
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  7. RevMike

    RevMike Poster Extraordinaire

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    I have many "what if" people in my life too. I refer to them as anchors....pulling me down. This, frankly was the toughest part of making a change. As a sole provider for a big family there is a big feeling of responsibility. It is a huge test of your personal resolve to sometimes in a seemingly cold manner turn away from these people in order to serve their own best interest. In other words, if I don't take care of me, there will be no me to take care of you!
     
  8. TMMC

    TMMC Tele-Afflicted

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    This is my wife's greatest stress in life. I do everything I can to help, but it's something she has to realize herself. I'm sorry to hear that you struggle with it too, to however much extent.
     
  9. RevMike

    RevMike Poster Extraordinaire

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    I LOVE this. I'm going to keep it and use it. Thank you!!!
     
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  10. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Thanks, I'm trying to learn to alleviate it some by reflecting often on how there are guys in way worse situations than myself.

    For example, there are guys locked up in prison with murderers and rapists that didn't do a thing to be there. When I think about things like that, I realize that I don't have a single care in the world, by comparison

    I am able to trace a lot of this probably completely unnecessary stress back to my dad. He always had to have someone to blame, and I often was the handiest.

    I love that guy. He had things a lot worse than I did, in many ways, and he did his best.
     
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2017
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  11. RevMike

    RevMike Poster Extraordinaire

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    Glad I could help you Blowtorch.

    Sometimes we have to let our guard down. Another lesson I've learned. I hesitated to use the word, but I suppose I shall. There are angels that are among us. And I don't necessarily mean that in a metaphysical way. By angels, I mean people. Perhaps they sense your energy and are drawn to it? I don't know, but when I was at one of the lowest points in my life in that McD's miles from home, late at night, it was like this "team" of strangers circled me and talked me down and got me going again. If I had not allowed myself to appear somewhat vulnerable sitting there in panic mode, perhaps that lady would not have sat down at my table with coffee? Her gentle kindness got me starting to think rationally again. We have to open ourselves up to these "angels" in our lives and on some level open up to being those angels for others.
     
  12. FenderLover

    FenderLover Friend of Leo's

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    Good story RevMike. 2017 will be interesting for me, as I just got laid off after 27 years. I found out last Thursday, but slept fine. I'm basically easy going and don't stress much over anything. I don't know what to expect, but I'll find out soon enough. I'll be groping for that door knob.
     
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  13. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Good luck to you.
    The same happened to me about a year and a half ago, after also more than 20 years with the company.
    Things are different out there than what you may expect. Especially for "older" folks, maybe.
    It took me over 3 months to find something new, I know it's taken others plenty longer. But it may give you some time to focus on other things.

    I developed some rudimentary mando skills between my day gigs

    Again, good luck!
     
  14. RevMike

    RevMike Poster Extraordinaire

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    Sending positive mojo your way dude. And if you ever need to vent, shoot me a message. I spend 16-20 hours a week in the car driving between Raleigh and NYC and back. Got plenty of time to talk about life, guitars or anything else.
     
  15. Obsessed

    Obsessed Telefied Ad Free Member

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    An unfortunate, but powerful reminder of how your own attitude can change the whole outlook on life. We all need that reminder once in awhile, so thanks for that. I learned the power of the mind back in my ultra marathon days. No matter how tired, sore, injured you are, the mind can leap past those things in amazing ways.

    A great experience I had was as a National Ski patroller in an experimental backcountry group. I came across a very lost and cold cross country skier that we were searching for. I said, "your safe, how about if I start up my backpack stove and make you a cup of hot chocolate." Immediately, a smile came out of him and he could relax. He was still very wet, cold and hungry, but nevertheless, his mind was at ease. We skied out together quite easily.
     
  16. RevMike

    RevMike Poster Extraordinaire

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    This sort of reminds me of boy scout merit badge classes as a kid. Whether drowning, fire, first aid, or exposure the first thing in any survival situation they tell you not to panic. Panic can exacerbate a negative situation quickly causing someone to even go into shock. A prime example of negative energy working against you.
     
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  17. Obsessed

    Obsessed Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Yup, I'm a Boy Scout through and through and live by those ethics throughout my life. Panic is a frame of mind, just as many other emotions.
     
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  18. Darkness

    Darkness Tele-Afflicted

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    I needed to see this. As you might guess from my forum handle, I am inclined to expect the worst in all things. It's really not a great life strategy, with the exception that you never get let down by anything because you were ready for the worst all along. I'd like to change this.

    True story, a few days ago I stumbled across a small bit about Norman Vincent Peale's book "The Power Of Positive Thinking." I have been mulling over reading the book to try and make a change in my life.

    Your post may have pushed me over the edge to get moving on it.

    Thanks for sharing.
     
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  19. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I've been reading "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl, bit by bit (one could easily read it in it's entirity in one sitting, but I save it for a once a week break at work).

    I'd say it's related to what we're discussing here

    "Man's Search for Meaning is a 1946 book by Viktor Frankl chronicling his experiences as an Auschwitz concentration camp inmate during World War II, and describing his psychotherapeutic method, which involved identifying a purpose in life to feel positively about, and then immersively imagining that outcome."
     
  20. 1955

    1955 Poster Extraordinaire

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    Refreshing post, reality is focus to a certain extent.

    Control over our thoughts is often the only thing we have in testing circumstances.

    How we react and frame current challenges and past events creates either a mindset receptive to opportunity or a bitter unhappiness and victim mentality.

    By having a positive foundation and strong moral foundation that we live congruently by, focusing our energies in using our gifts to help others, we position ourselves to realize our potential and have insight into the potential dormant in others.

    Gratitude, forgiveness, laughter, love, that helps us in the murky labyrinths of loss and betrayal, the bitter vanities of misspent youth, we become magnetically charged as walking antennas for the abundance of joy and eternally beautiful that is all around us, even in the most trivial and mundane routines of our adventure.
     
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