was thinking hmmmm 5th of may there's that , but theres something else that personally important to me in my life hmmm what could it be , then yesterday , I remembered that it was my Clean and sober birthday. So another year has pasted with out relapsing back into drug addiction and alcoholism. How many year has it been , right now I can't really remember, help me figure this out o.k. ? 2021- 1983 = hold on I need the calculator (chemobrain) = ah! 38 years of being clean and sober. I'm 72 so -38 year (calculator) = 34 years, that over half my life. for those like me that believed that continuous sobriety is impossible, well I'm the living proof that it is possible some times probably ( quote Captain Jack Sparrow). See if I'd take the other road I'd have died possibly, probably in my late thirties, and at the rate it was going it would have probably not possibly very messy and ugly if no from "party favors" most likely by my own hand ( amphetamine psychosis at lest in my case is really hellish and extremely unpleasant. Imagine hell with out the sin, that has a nice ring to it , punishment without the joy of committing the crime. A masochists' paradise , maybe. If others choose, they want to party and celebrate sex and drugs and rock and roll well it's none of my business, after all everybody is going to die anyway. It's not a moral issue it's a health issue like cancer, , bit of a drag but there's no sin involved. It's just a medical reality. Illness in not a moral issue.