The Dumbest Thing I've Ever Heard!

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by TC6969, Jan 25, 2020.

  1. TC6969

    TC6969 Friend of Leo's

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    I was in Lowe's this afternoon standing in the self checkout line behind Billy Joe Bob and Cleetus Vern when BJB said to Cleetus, "I seen a cop on the corner giving out tickets for no seat belts".

    Cleetus says, "You aint never gonna see me wearing no seat belt!"

    Whyzat? says BJB.

    "My cousin Goober Ray flipped his Impala and got thowed in the back seat! The roof got crushed in so bad that the steering wheel was touching the floor!"

    "Golleee!" says BJB as he spat into his Sprite bottle.

    "If heeda been in the front seat, heeda been dead sure nuff! Thats why you aint gonna see me wearing no dang seat belt"

    "Them dadgum things ill get ya kilt!"

    About this time I noticed that all six of the self checkouts had froze up, so I walked away to the old school lane and left The two Einsteins to their contemplation of life.


    So, you guys have anything to beat that?
     
  2. Torren61

    Torren61 Friend of Leo's Silver Supporter

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    I sure do but it’d be against forum rules to post it...
     
  3. Tuneup

    Tuneup Tele-Meister

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    Literally ever hour of every day on the news.
     
  4. TeleTex82

    TeleTex82 Friend of Leo's

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    I had a friend in HS who was on the football team with me. Before every game he'd go to Luby's (big cafeteria type joint here in San Antone) and down plate after plate of fried chicken. It was impressive for a little 120 lb white guy wingback.

    Invariably he'd get halfway through the game and collapse from massive cramps. Finally the coach and the trainer are trying to figure why he's always cramping up. They go through his pregame routine and he tells them what he eats before the game, "About two fried chickens coach, nothing crazy."

    "JJ," coach says, "You know how much terrible shi*t you're shoveling into your body right before the game?!"

    JJ deadpan and in all seriousness replies, "None at all coach, they fry all the bad stuff out of it."
     
  5. Sparky2

    Sparky2 Friend of Leo's

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    I have heard similar things, over the years, regarding the wearing of motorcycle helmets.

    "Inhibits my freedom, man."

    "Cuts down my peripheral vision, bro."

    etc, etc.

    :(
     
  6. TheGoodTexan

    TheGoodTexan Moderator Staff Member Ad Free Member

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    My cousin (similar in tone to the Billy Joe Bob in your Lowe’s) was thrown from a four wheeler while riding it drunk, he landed on some debris and it lacerated his liver... which was probably the least invasive thing he had done to his liver in years.

    He was rushed into surgery and saved.

    Weeks later he reported to my wife, “Docter sayd that if’n I hadnt been drunk, I’da prolly died.”

    My wife was was having none of it and without skipping a beat she replied, “Have you ever considered that if you hadn’t been drunk, you wouldn’t have had the wreck in the first place?”
     
  7. televillian

    televillian Tele-Holic

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    stupidity has reached epidemic levels in our country.
     
  8. Dismalhead

    Dismalhead Poster Extraordinaire

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    I love the name Cleetus. Next pet I get I'm gonna name him Cleetus.
     
    RoyBGood, jannodude, 3bolt79 and 3 others like this.
  9. shupe13

    shupe13 Tele-Holic

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    I was in a gun store with my dad yesterday. A person who could have easily been related to the OP's checkout line "Einsteins", said to another "Dem Glocks are crap!" followed by some odd snot blockage snort.

    Now I love America. I support the Constitution. I support the 1st Amendment. But sometimes people should just shouldn't make their opinions public. Especially if there is absolutely no facts to back up that opinion.

    He could have stated that they're ugly. I mean it's in the eye of the beholder. He could have said they're too expensive. Depends on the depth of your pockets I suppose. He could have said Glock doesn't offer enough color options. I mean nickel plating is optional for a combat handgun, right? He could have said they're too easy to maintain. All pistols should be as difficult to tear down and reassemble as the 1911. He could have said that 3 safeties aren't enough. But to say they're crap!?

    Stick to your Hi-point pal.

    Sent from my REVVLPLUS C3701A using Tapatalk
     
  10. Allan Allan

    Allan Allan Tele-Meister

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    I disagree, I think people were always this stupid we just weren't as connected.
     
  11. Jupiter

    Jupiter Telefied Silver Supporter

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    I question the claim that people are stupider now than they used to be.

    beat me to the click
     
  12. RottenTheCat

    RottenTheCat Tele-Holic

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    Back in 75, my GF's family invited me to their family reunion in Lake of the Ozarks. There were five families with teen kids... cousins... who had never met before. They started doing what horny teens do, cousins or not. Thing was, I noticed they sort of mixed up their pairing. I asked Jan Carrol (a guy) what was up. He said they were switchin' to take precaution against gettin' knocked up. I was like wtf? He said if you only do it once with the girl you're ok because everybody knows you cant get knocked up the first time. That the the same trip I busted my nose, oh well.

    (edit in)

    I stayed friendly with that GF for 45+ years since then. Never heard peep #1 about offspring of her cousins.
     
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2020
    KyAnne, nojazzhere and Fretting out like this.
  13. televillian

    televillian Tele-Holic

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    i never said they`re stupider. just that there`s an epidemic of stupid people
     
  14. Jupiter

    Jupiter Telefied Silver Supporter

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    okay
     
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  15. Apache Snow

    Apache Snow Tele-Meister

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  16. Art VanDelay

    Art VanDelay Tele-Afflicted

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    I feel like our country has not become dumber, it's just that dumb people have such good representation these days. All those people you knew existed now have actual sway.
     
  17. assquatch20

    assquatch20 TDPRI Member

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    I am reminded of Idiocracy's Clevon. I recommend watching the first few minutes on YouTube.
     
  18. stratoman1

    stratoman1 Friend of Leo's

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    I think that it's a matter of the level of pride in ignorance and stupidity is at probably the highest point in our history.

    Which is really a bit sad considering the role technology plays in our lives now. There's really no excuse for it but here we are
     
  19. rolandson

    rolandson Tele-Holic Silver Supporter

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    I overheard a cop discussing helmets with a biker he was writing up for not wearing one...

    He told the biker:

    "I don't care whether you live or die when you lay that thing down, I care about containing the mess that was once your noodle. The stuff inside leaks out when you split it open and it's really unpleasant to clean up. Have a nice day sir!"
     
  20. assquatch20

    assquatch20 TDPRI Member

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    Anti-intellectualism, I believe it's called. It's pretty rampant in these parts.
     
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