The difference between Heaven and Hell

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by richiek65, Jun 21, 2020.

  1. richiek65

    richiek65 Poster Extraordinaire

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    In Heaven:
    The chefs are French
    The police are British
    The mechanics are German
    The lovers are Italian
    And everything is run by the Swiss.

    In Hell:
    The chefs are British
    The police are German
    The mechanics are French
    The lovers are Swiss
    And everything is run by the Italians
     
  2. bgmacaw

    bgmacaw Poster Extraordinaire

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    hellskitchen.png
     
  3. eddnix

    eddnix Tele-Meister

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    I read that to the tune of "In Heaven" from Eraserhead, got it stuck in my head now....

     
  4. stxrus

    stxrus Poster Extraordinaire

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    That is really funny and probably close to correct in a non-PC way
     
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  5. johnnylaw

    johnnylaw Tele-Afflicted

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    There are no Telecasters in Hell. That's how the place got its name.
     
  6. richiek65

    richiek65 Poster Extraordinaire

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    images (1) (44).jpeg
     
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  7. richiek65

    richiek65 Poster Extraordinaire

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    Disclaimer : my wife is Italian/British and she cracks up at this
     
  8. boredguy6060

    boredguy6060 Poster Extraordinaire

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  9. Obsessed

    Obsessed Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I'm an existentialist, so neither exist.:D
     
  10. Peegoo

    Peegoo Poster Extraordinaire

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    The devil is not in the details; he's just an excuse.

    Life is too short to eat crap food and drink bad wine.
     
  11. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Tele Axpert Ad Free Member

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  12. Norris Vulcan

    Norris Vulcan Tele-Afflicted

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    In Heaven the Police are British ? :eek: Gawd help us
     
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  13. Mike Eskimo

    Mike Eskimo Telefied Ad Free Member

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    In heaven, the soundtrack is the broad, richly varied totality of American music.

    In hell ? French “rock n roll” and most things German* of course ! :lol:

    *as my buddy Jim said to the German president of Continental tires at a reception honoring Jim’s wife’s promotion to VP, “You’re going to mention Wagner, Mahler, and Beethoven and all that interests me is CAN and your vibrant history of ooompah music !”
     
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2020
  14. Wrighty

    Wrighty Friend of Leo's

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    Heaven and Hell are actually side by side, separated by a tall fence. One day God is checking the security when he notices a gap in the fence panels. ‘Excuse me, Devil’, he calls, ‘would you mind fixing the gap in your fence old chap’. The Devil scowls and tells him to **** off. God has another go, ‘look Nick, I really don’t want any of your customers wandering onto my property’. ‘Go and boil your head!’, is the reply.
    God decides to get tough. ‘Look here beelzebub, if you’re going to take that attitude I’ll have no choice but to get a lawyer’. The Devil laughs and begins to walk away. ‘I have warned you’, God shouts after him, ‘I’m going to get a solicitor’. Looking over his shoulder the Devil shouts back, ‘good luck with that, where are you gonna find a lawyer on your side of the fence!?’
     
  15. David Barnett

    David Barnett Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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  16. ricknbaker

    ricknbaker Tele-Afflicted

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    Hey! British food is pretty good these days. Now if the chefs were German...

    Disclaimer: Best steak I ever ate was in Berlin.
     
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  17. blowtorch

    blowtorch Telefied Ad Free Member

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    fairly eurocentric, no?

    anyway, meanwhile in valhalla...
     
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  18. skitched

    skitched Tele-Meister

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    I guess I’ll just stick with Thai, Indian and a Mexican food.
     
  19. Ed Driscoll

    Ed Driscoll Tele-Afflicted

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    They're not?

    [​IMG]
     
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  20. PlainAllman

    PlainAllman Tele-Afflicted

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    My question is who makes the guitars?
     
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