The death of a beloved dog and perhaps a Church membership

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by arnie5150, Aug 23, 2019.

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  1. boris bubbanov

    boris bubbanov Telefied Ad Free Member

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    Agreed.

    This woman's of behavior, in the place like Magnolia, is frankly sort of bizarre. One of the obligations of living in a smaller community is you can't shirk your duties as a neighbor and a member of this small place.

    I am going to speculate that your Denomination sends preachers to new churches perhaps every few years, and that there's a bit of an itinerant aspect to being Minister to this church (or group of churches near one another). And I'm imagining this woman is not really happy in this community and feels trapped there. Is this the case? I've seen Preachers moved on their way out of an assignment if they do not get along with the congregants.

    Anyway, I wouldn't hesitate to just find another congregation where you can get a fresh start. I don't know what's causing the turmoil in the wife of this minister but she's probably not coming around to right soon IMO and life is short.

    P.S. I do speed in Pike County often, but I keep it out there on the Interstate. My condolences to your daughter for the loss of her companion. My Daisy pup is 14 this year, and I am spending all the quality time I can with her while I can.
     
  2. 2 Headed Goat

    2 Headed Goat Tele-Afflicted

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    Wow, sad to hear this. Talk about adding insult to injury. Obviously its not about you but still...
    Some people's kids - eh?
     
  3. JL_LI

    JL_LI Friend of Leo's

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    I’m truly sad over how Maggie met her end. The end is inevitable but no one wants to see it come sooner than it must. I read the OP a couple of times and can’t help but think that alcohol may have been involved. Leaving the scene, defensiveness, unwillingness to take responsibility are hallmarks of alcohol involvement. The preacher may be an enabler. I don’t know what you should do but the preacher and his wife may be in need of pastoral care themselves.
     
  4. Doctorx33

    Doctorx33 Tele-Afflicted

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    I am deeply sorry about the loss of your beloved pet.

    It’s a very difficult thing to leave a church you love but I did.
    I attended a church for eighteen years, where eventually our long time minister retired.

    A committee chose two candidates, a man and a woman. We voted, and the woman got the job. I even voted for her, good God.

    Well, she sucked. She was power mad, controlling, phony, and her sermons were... well, it got to where I would sit there and wonder what the hell she was talking about. I gave her six months and bailed to join a similar church where I am very happy.
    It’s not the place, it’s why you’re there.

    Regarding the pastors wife, she has forgotten why she’s there.

    I hope this doesn’t get deleted, it’s not really about religion.
     
  5. E5RSY

    E5RSY Poster Extraordinaire

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    A sad situation on multiple levels...and you are exactly right.
     
  6. TheGoodTexan

    TheGoodTexan Moderator Staff Member Ad Free Member

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    As someone who is in the ministry vocationally, and spends most of my time studying for such...

    I suggest that you kindly approach the pastor’s wife and explain that you and your family are hurt, and that you’d like to re-establish a peaceful friendship with her. I suggest that you don’t comment about things that someone else told you that she said, and don’t speculate on her heart motives. But do say that the silence between her and your family is hurting your family.

    I suggest also to have her husband there, just as a support for all involved.

    This is a tremendous teaching opportunity for you to your family, to allow them to see that your actions match your convictions and that you truly desire peace with all, and you’re willing to work for that.

    Show love to those who have not shown love to you. It’s easy to read about, and even talk about. It is more difficult to put it into practice. But you have to.
     
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  7. lowatter

    lowatter Tele-Meister

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    I'm sorry as well for your loss and we really feel for you and yours. It's a hard thing and my eyes are tearing up as I read this thinking about our dog Guinevere that we lost 2 years ago. May your Maggie rest in peace.
    I don't mean to derail your thread but I want you to know that you're not alone and I think it helps to share experiences. My wife and I are Christians but we don't belong to any church because of similar circumstances in the past.
    We live on a country road in SC and we couldn't keep Guinevere contained no matter what we tried. She was a Houdini with a mind of her own. I used to jest to everyone that she "ran the joint". She was always the first to greet me when I got home from work and got out of my work van. My next door neighbor called us early one Sunday night to say that he thought the she got hit by a car and when we went out our fears were confirmed. I took a garden wagon with us to pick her up and while we were doing that a crewcab pickup truck pulled up with and an obviously devastated young lady and her 2 young kids and her father. The poor girl was balling her eyes out saying she was so sorry. After she hit Guinevere, the young lady didn't know what to do and was so upset that she went to her father's and he drove them over to our house. The kids were crying too and my wife and I hugged her and told them about Guinevere and that it wasn't their fault. Everyone including the father was pretty choked up. It was a sad scene. We were so thankful that the young lady came back so that we knew what had happened and that they cared enough to return. It really helped us through it. Guinevere was so smart that my wife trained her to smile on command. I took the next day off from work and buried her and placed a 200# granite rock as her grave marker.
    We miss you Piggy-Dog(the nickname we gave her because she always snorted like a pig).

    Guineapiggy.jpg
     
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2019
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  8. geoff_in_nc

    geoff_in_nc Friend of Leo's

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    My condolences on your loss.... It's a rotten situation, and I'm sorry you're involved in it. I would like to echo @TheGoodTexan 's advice. It may be that the pastor's wife just isn't the type to know what to say and shuts down. Get out the olive branch and see what happens.
     
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  9. djh22

    djh22 Tele-Holic Ad Free Member

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    I'm sorry for your loss and the subsequent experiences.
    May you be comforted by happy memories of Maggie and may all find the healing that they need to move forward.
     
  10. rob2

    rob2 Tele-Holic

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    A very sad and difficult time...I'm with Texan,perhaps another approach to your pastor and his wife,its always best to try to maintain relationships,especially in a small community....there's a reason so many denominations emphasise forgiveness,its a sure path to peace of mind for those able to practice it....
     
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  11. thunderbyrd

    thunderbyrd Poster Extraordinaire Silver Supporter

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    Yes, exactly.
     
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  12. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I have been in both situations but not at the same time. I hit and killed two dogs while I was working. One time a woman ran across the road on highway 46 in the little whistle stop Lost Hills I had to hit the brakes hard to keep from hitting her. She left her dog to run across the road, predictably and I was figuring this out on the go the dog ran across the road after her. I hit the little dog, I just couldn't stop. When I got stopped I got the little dog out of the road, and placed it in the back of my truck by the tailgate. The woman was upset, and I tried to comfort her, I told her I would take the dog and bury it for her. She said okay, then I saw a look come over her face, and she started wanting something from me in the way of compensation. I said sorry mam the best I can do is bury the dog, which I did. As a matter of course, I carried a shovel and some other tools in my truck because my route carried me to some pretty remote places.

    Another time, a dog darted out in the dark between two parked cars into my path. I thought at first I had imagined seeing the dog, until I heard the thump. I stopped but couldn't find the dog. I went door to door until I knocked on a door and a woman opened the door and said what do you want? My dog just rain into the house and died. I could see the dog, and some children gathered around it. I told the woman that I had ran over the dog, and was looking for the owner to alert them, just in case the dog survived and needed to go to the vet. She was not interested in listening to me, and shut the door in my face.

    I'm sorry for the loss of your Maggie, really sorry, anyone who has read any of my posts knows I'm a dog guy, and genuinely feel for you loss. As to the part about the church, I can't go into details because we're not supposed to talk about that here, but I CAN say, that once you get to the part where you think you ought to leave, your bags are already packed. When you run afoul of the preacher or his/her mate, it's all over. You can all hug, and say we're sorry, but it's over, you won't ever feel right there. I'm sorry to be maybe the decenter in this, but I've been there and know.
     
  13. Toto'sDad

    Toto'sDad Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I said I'd killed two dogs while working, actually that was when driving my own pickup truck. One time when I was driving a big rig hauling a dozer with a sixteen wheel low bed, I ran over seven German shepherds all at once. Again, there was nothing I could do, I felt badly, but sometimes things just happen. Motor vehicles and anything breathing in the road at the same time, it's not going to be pretty. I wish there were an answer to that situation, but there just isn't.
     
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  14. Toadtele

    Toadtele Tele-Holic

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    So sorry for your loss. Be strong. Your a bigger man than me. I’m an eye for an eye type of guy. I wouldn’t rest until that woman felt my daughters pain.
     
  15. Toadtele

    Toadtele Tele-Holic

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    At the very least. An I mean very. I would print up a flyer to let the rest of the congregation know of her actions. Print out screen shots of texts. Lay it all out. Her lord knows what she’s done. His followers deserve the same. And again that’s the very least.
     
  16. TeleTex82

    TeleTex82 Friend of Leo's

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    Awful way to lose a family companion, Im sorry you and your family had to go through all that. I ain't the church going sort but I imagine these are the types of situations that show you who really walks the walk in a congregation and it appears the preacher's wife is dragging her feet.
     
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  17. tlsmack

    tlsmack Tele-Afflicted

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    The preacher's wife is in a rough spot. Mostly likely she feels some combination of guilt, remorse, intimidation, sorrow, trauma, etc.
    Her reluctance to come forward is not necessarily based on malice, more likely on fear/embarrassment. I don't know much about church, but it seems like a preacher ought to be able to find a way to bring everyone together. There was no ill intent on anyone's part, just a bad circumstance.

    The bit about the "rude" texts is just gossip as far as I am concerned. I hope you can stay in your church. Leaving would just breed more bitterness.
     
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  18. 6stringcowboy

    6stringcowboy Tele-Afflicted

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    Sorry you had to experience the death of your pal.

    I cant really say what I'd like to say except that you're a bigger man than me.
     
  19. stxrus

    stxrus Friend of Leo's

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    First of all I am truly saddened by the passing of you dog Maggie
    The fact that some idiot drives through your neighborhood above the speed limit with no concern for human/animal/much less a pet’s live places her as a person of low standards and of total disrespect in my book
    The fact that she is more concerned with her car over the killing of a family pet burns me up
    The fact that she is “supposed” to be a compassionate person due to her “position” makes me angrier
    The fact that she won’t give you the courtesy of a face to face regarding the situation creates a greater dislike for the “woman”
     
  20. preactor

    preactor Tele-Holic

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    Sorry about the loss of your dog. Sadly the old days of pets roaming at will is no more. In 30 years we have had 6 of our cats hit by cars. Not the first note or anything. We have had to re-home 2 dogs due to jumping our fence. I have friends who's homeowner insurance had to pay for damage to vehicles that killed their pets. In the church situation, I would talk to the Pastor again and see what his take is on the situation. Sadly it may be time to worship in another place.
     
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