Table manners

Blue Bill

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My kids were taught table manners, not for my sake but for their’s. I don’t want them to be an embarrassment at times when people could judge them accordingly. There may only be a handful of times in their lives when table manners are critical and it’s far better to know it than to not know it.
JL Li mentioned business dinners, I can’t imagine being at a business dinner and being thought poorly of just because I had no table manners.

I can't tell if you are joking. You are kidding yourself if you think prospective clients or employers don't notice and harshly judge table manners. I know someone who takes candidates out to lunch or dinner for one reason, which is to evaluate their table manners. For example, if they put salt on their food before tasting it, instant disqualification.

It has to do with judging a person's social skills and awareness of how to appropriately present oneself, how to create an impression, how you might represent the company if you are hired, etc. At any business dinner, you will absolutely be considered a moron if you feed your self like a child.
 

Sparky472

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Growing up we had to keep the elbows off the table. Napkins in the lap. Kids did not eat until the adults did. You HAD to ask to be excused before leaving the table.

Hats at the table still bother me more than it should. Time moves on and standards change. But I also refuse to wear a hat inside a building. I still put my napkin in my lap, regardless of company even when it is just me and the dog.

I just recalled this scene from the Sopranos.



I think of this scene every time I see someone wearing a hat in a restaurant, which really does bother me. Elbows on the table - could not care less. But some of the rules of etiquette for dining are rooted in not making the experience of eating universally unpleasant or in practicality. I.e chewing with your mouth closed so as not to disgust everyone else, eating over the table so food doesn’t go everywhere, napkin in lap so those clothes we work hard to buy don’t get ruined, not shoving your elbow in someone’s face as you reach for something they could have just handed you had you asked…
 

telleutelleme

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I grew up with two older brothers. Eating utensils always doubled as weapons for protecting or claiming food. Elbows on the table you lose any advantage to do a quick stab on the first turkey leg or best fried chicken pieces.
 

getbent

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I was at very large gathering yesterday... people from all over. I had some of the younger nieces and nephews with me, some with little kids... two of the little ones (like 10-12) don't eat any of the food that comprises thanksgiving feast. One had two Tofu (looked like air fried) disks and the other had two large pieces of bread that he was pushing around.

One of them talked during toasts. The other 30 people were mostly good from what I could see. I noticed that several of the european folks at the table do something interesting though... they get a little bit of several different items from their plate on their fork and then they take a bite. Two of them use fork and knife to accomplish this... I concluded it is pretty smart because it slows down the eating process and probably aids digestion.

Of the little kids, one of my favorites sat next to me and ate amazingly huge portions of the yam dish my wife made and we talked about Brandon Crawford who (at 10) she has decided would be the perfect husband! and agrees that he has above average range.

My folks taught us how all the different forks and knives and spoons worked and when to use them (just in case we were at a fancy dinner) in my junior year of high school, my English teacher, Mr. Poe (not kidding) spent almost a week teaching the whole class proper etiquette. I got an A because I already knew it.

When I was at William and Mary, I was oddly invited to different folks Thanksgivings and Christmases (too expensive to fly home) and several had VERY formal meals... boom! no problema amigo!

Most of the time, knowing stuff is better than not knowing, so knowing cultural niceties is good! I will eat turkey legs on sunday, and... I plan to hoist them in my hand and eat them like the dude from the BC cartoon, whilst sitting in a recliner and watching the 49ers play hard!
 

uriah1

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Holding a fork like a hammer. Ya, no cell phones should be added.

The only thing I dont do anymore is always use
the soup spoon and push away not towards you.
 

BigDaddyLH

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Different cultures may have a different etiquette. How many things can you notice in this video before they are pointed out?



If you think Korean drink a lot of hard liquor, you're not wrong.

alcohol-consumption.jpg
 

Nightclub Dwight

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I was at very large gathering yesterday... people from all over. I had some of the younger nieces and nephews with me, some with little kids... two of the little ones (like 10-12) don't eat any of the food that comprises thanksgiving feast. One had two Tofu (looked like air fried) disks and the other had two large pieces of bread that he was pushing around.

One of them talked during toasts. The other 30 people were mostly good from what I could see. I noticed that several of the european folks at the table do something interesting though... they get a little bit of several different items from their plate on their fork and then they take a bite. Two of them use fork and knife to accomplish this... I concluded it is pretty smart because it slows down the eating process and probably aids digestion.

Of the little kids, one of my favorites sat next to me and ate amazingly huge portions of the yam dish my wife made and we talked about Brandon Crawford who (at 10) she has decided would be the perfect husband! and agrees that he has above average range.

My folks taught us how all the different forks and knives and spoons worked and when to use them (just in case we were at a fancy dinner) in my junior year of high school, my English teacher, Mr. Poe (not kidding) spent almost a week teaching the whole class proper etiquette. I got an A because I already knew it.

When I was at William and Mary, I was oddly invited to different folks Thanksgivings and Christmases (too expensive to fly home) and several had VERY formal meals... boom! no problema amigo!

Most of the time, knowing stuff is better than not knowing, so knowing cultural niceties is good! I will eat turkey legs on sunday, and... I plan to hoist them in my hand and eat them like the dude from the BC cartoon, whilst sitting in a recliner and watching the 49ers play hard!

The key here is "knowing is better than not knowing." I find that true with most things in life.

Also, in any situation, when in doubt, model the host's behavior and things usually work out fine.
 

schmee

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There are some manners that matter, but some are just not needed.
Yeah, don't chew with an open mouth!
Don't dominate the table with loud talk!
I don't care what hand you hold your fork or knife in, but don't eat with your hands sucking on your fingers! (Exception: unless you are having mud bugs for T day!)
Elbows only if the table has lots of space between people. Then I dont care.
Etc.
Common sense manners are good. I dont care about the BS ones.
 

Toto'sDad

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Yesterday was a family gathering, the first one since •••. My wife’s niece by second marriage hosted. I wore my new pants I bought at the outlet mall Wednesday with a shirt I bought at Orvis with a coupon we get because we spend way too much money there. My brother in law came as Captain Sweatpants, an outfit he hasn’t taken off since before Halloween. We talked about our cars. None of us speak German but that’s what we drive. Acceptance packages are coming in for nephew Jack. He’s been accepted at Indiana and is still waiting on Penn State and Ohio State. His chances are good. He doesn’t qualify… for financial aid. Out of state schools like kids who come with mom and dad’s open check book. His birthday falls during Hanukkah and his present is parked out front waiting for him to turn 17. Does an Audi A3 make sense as a first car? No off lease X1’s we’re available. I still can’t get used to a world where this is normal. I saved my garage band money for my first car. We had two no shows. My wife has an uncle whose dementia makes it unwise to take him out. His wife stayed with him. That was sad. The older walking wounded discussed our medical problems and docs like older folks do. My wife grabbed my hand to stop me from bringing politics into a discussion of public health. She’d make a good moderator.

So we had all the local family who could come together for the first time since •••. No masks. No contagion. Everyone was vaccinated. It was normal. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I hope you had a good one.

I had a great Thanksgiving, and I'm glad you enjoyed yours! My wife no longer puts on a big spread, and it has become normal for us to spend the holidays with one or more of our children. Our day has passed, but we hosted some really grand get-togethers in our younger years, so I don't feel too badly taking advantage of the kids.

We spent yesterday at a truly gorgeous place. Sits on about 3/4 of an acre, a beautiful pool setting in the back yard, with enough land left over for a park like area for kids and dogs to play. Three car garage with one bay dedicated to the runaround golf cart. They actually have parades of them in the neighborhood. Televisions in every room, and a couple of them outside. After watching the football game yesterday on a large screen tv, the hostess said that's it, tomorrow we're going to take advantage of black Friday and get a BIGGER tv! She is not pretentious in the least, she just likes going shopping, and they can afford it.

Got to see my two of my grandsons and catch up on what they are doing. The younger one hugged me when I left which is VERY unusual. I enjoyed the day.
 

johnny k

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I hold the knife in my right hand. Is it right ?

I saw a kid sneeze in his hand, look at the phlegm in his hand, and eat it. I don't like people speaking with their mouth full due to projections. Otherwise, hats, elbows on the table, it is all good.

Is it more polite to lick your plate clean if you are invited ? or leave a little bit of food in it ?
I don't know.
 




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