Suggestions for putting a decent “dad band” together?

VintageSG

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Is there a local community music project close by?

That's where the last band I was in came from, plus you get to play with folk of all ages and fans of all genres. It's also nice volunteering with kids to help them get their ideas down too.
Something to do, folk to play with, exposure to new ideas, helping the next generation and perhaps brightening the lives of others. Win/win.
 

saleake

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I’m 72 years old. I’m in the Dallas area. I have made a lot of contacts through blues jams and open mic nights, but none that led to band membership. I am primarily a blues and classic rock player. I’m now in a country band. The last three bands I’ve been in were through:

1. Bandmix
2. Craig’s List
3. Facebook

You just have to keep plugging along and something will turn up.
 

Guitarteach

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I would say there are a majority of part time gigging bands playing out once or twice a month. Keener players may have two or three bands or a duo/solo side gig.

+1 get visible and asking at open mics.. you won’t be only one trying to escape the spouse and act like a kid again.

For older players with family, the weekly rehearsal and occasional gig setup seems quite attractive IME.

Just be clear in your ads. Don’t wait and look. Say what uou want and can offer. You will likely get 4 or 5 complete wastes of time respond and then land a good one. Just persist.

Also a funny ad might work.. xxx and the fossils, seeking fossils.
 

JustABluesGuy

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I don't know. But your post describes my situation pretty much exactly. I lucked into the spot. Someone I knew from a different guitar forum invited me to give it a go and I've been playing with them for 11 years. The bass player who invited me has moved to NM. I invited another friend of mine and he did about 4 years with us and moved to DE. Now we have another friend of mine taking his spot.

I think you just have to spend more time with people still interested in being active until you find the right people.

Yeah. I should have started looking earlier as well. A couple of the guys I have played with for a long time have always been a little flaky and would likely flight risks.

I started trying to bring more people in, but they were very resistant to that idea. I wanted to bring in a better lead guitar player, and maybe some bass/percussion. The lead singer and rhythm guitar guy where old friends who were hesitant to change things up.

I did finally talk them into bringing in a bass player. Then “the troubles” started and things kind of fell apart from there.
 

JustABluesGuy

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I would say there are a majority of part time gigging bands playing out once or twice a month. Keener players may have two or three bands or a duo/solo side gig.

+1 get visible and asking at open mics.. you won’t be only one trying to escape the spouse and act like a kid again.

For older players with family, the weekly rehearsal and occasional gig setup seems quite attractive IME.

Just be clear in your ads. Don’t wait and look. Say what uou want and can offer. You will likely get 4 or 5 complete wastes of time respond and then land a good one. Just persist.

Also a funny ad might work.. xxx and the fossils, seeking fossils.

Thanks for the feedback. We have (or had) a local band called the Greatful Geezers.
 

JustABluesGuy

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Wow! So you've played with Blackmoore and Malmsteen?! 🙃

I’m confident enough to turn down the chance to play with more advanced players if they’re jerks, but they would have to ask to play with me first!

I’m still waiting for their calls so I can snub TF out of them!* LOL!

* Actually I would probably give them the benefit of the doubt and play with them until they begin to treat me or others like a douche.
 

JustABluesGuy

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Yes! This!

Been there, did that years ago. Maybe I should buy a van and a gear trailer too? LOL! I’m a decent enough player that I don’t need to supply “everything” just to attract players.

Of course it sure didn’t hurt back when I DID have a garage studio setup. My garage now holds two actual cars! 😢
 

JustABluesGuy

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Turns out you don't have to be(but it's not frowned upon, of course, if you are).
You've probably heard this joke which I shamelessly lifted off of another forum:

A boy came home from his first bass lesson. His dad asked him how it went. "Today we learned the E string."
The boy came home from his second lesson and dad asked him how it went. "Today we learned the A string."
The boy came home from his third lesson. Dad asked, "So did you learn the D string today?"
"Nope. Today I had a gig."


If bass gets you the gig, so be it, but since bass players are that scarce you have leverage to expand your sound
by overplaying and using wonky effects and even "hey guys... mind if I play the ukulele on this one?".
Pro tip: Chords are fun on bass. (even more so on 6 & 7-string basses which can be had for cheap nowadays)

Pedals to consider with that bass:
- Boss Synthesizer SY-1
- Volume pedal of your choice
- Behringer Super Fuzz SF300
- Envelope filter pedal of your choice

Good one, and one I hadn’t heard. Thanks!

Personally I would like to play in a band where we can switch things up. I like (liked) playing percussion and/or bass on simpler songs. There are always too many damned guitar players!
 

JustABluesGuy

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Provide the practice space with a PA and drum kit and you can have any band you want.

I have done exactly that in the past, and got lots of people over, not necessarily the best!

I don’t have room at the new place, and the drums as well as the PA are long gone. I do miss being able to have a kit setup all the time.
 

JustABluesGuy

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Is there a local community music project close by?

That's where the last band I was in came from, plus you get to play with folk of all ages and fans of all genres. It's also nice volunteering with kids to help them get their ideas down too.
Something to do, folk to play with, exposure to new ideas, helping the next generation and perhaps brightening the lives of others. Win/win.

That’s a great idea! I have also thought about entertaining seniors, especially in memory care units like my elderly mother is in.

Music seems to “wake up” something in their brains and lights them back up... That would be a very rewarding way to give back as well.

Great feedback, thanks!
 

Flat6Driver

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I'll offer another point.....as people age, they get "set in their ways". If they have been in charge of business, workers, etc. and then retire and expect to "do music" whatever that means, sometimes they might be a bit inflexible. I played with a guy like this recently. Frankly some of the best players/musical situation I've had (I'm not retired yet) because I'd show up and know exactly what we were doing. If that song have 4 choruses, that's what we did - nothing more nothing less. BUT, it got to be unfun. No experimentation, no fun trainwrecks that turn into something else. Rigid way of adding new music by committee, a marketing plan, etc etc. Don't be like that.
 

JustABluesGuy

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I'll offer another point.....as people age, they get "set in their ways". If they have been in charge of business, workers, etc. and then retire and expect to "do music" whatever that means, sometimes they might be a bit inflexible. I played with a guy like this recently. Frankly some of the best players/musical situation I've had (I'm not retired yet) because I'd show up and know exactly what we were doing. If that song have 4 choruses, that's what we did - nothing more nothing less. BUT, it got to be unfun. No experimentation, no fun trainwrecks that turn into something else. Rigid way of adding new music by committee, a marketing plan, etc etc. Don't be like that.

Thanks for the feedback. That’s why I have only answered ads of others looking for musicians. I prefer to play with others in a support position, than to create MY own band.

Anyway I’m not a control freak. I have met and even (very briefly) played with a few of them. I passed their auditions but unfortunately they didn’t pass MY auditioning of them. I have no issue working with people who have a vision. I don’t have an issue with having a band leader, as long as they are magnanimous and easy to get along with. I enjoy being a side man, and am willing to try different things. I appreciate “useful” direction and feedback when I get it.

To me being a control freak means controlling myself only, and being the best player I can be. I have been a manager in the distant past, and I was good at it. I don’t really care to manage others musically. I would rather be a mentor or leader than a “boss”.

One of my buddies always complained about how the other guy never practiced at all and only played when we got together. I told him “You can’t control others or make them be what you want them to be. Take them as they are and encourage them is the best you can do.”
 

brookdalebill

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Hey, I’m a dad, and I play in bands.
So:
Use as few members as will work for your band.
Try to find players of commensurate skill and interests.
Try to find player who can double (play a couple of instruments) or triple (and sing or play yet another instrument).
Try to get everyone to sing, if they can, or want to.
Rehearse.
Tighten up.
Don’t get, uh, altered (drunk, high), at least not at first;).
Don’t be too serious.
Really.
If you (all of you) aren’t having fun, what’s the point?
Stuff like that.
 




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