Suggestions for putting a decent “dad band” together?

JustABluesGuy

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I’m a retired, early 60s guy who has always had friends, neighbors, co-workers or relatives to play with (literally from the day I started playing 20 years ago). Gradually they have all moved, died or just quit playing. I still get to play with some of them on occasion, but I want to play with others more often.

I’m working up a solo acoustic set to do some open mics, and maybe I will meet people that way, because I still l love ensemble playing as much of a pain as it can be to make it work. When it works it’s… well I’m sure you know!

Anyway, I have tried answering other people’s craiglist adds, and so far the ones that were of interest me have been very few and they have fallen through. Has anyone here posted an ad seeking players? Did you have good results?

I’m in an odd position to be seeking. I’m a decent, and pretty versatile player, but I am old, and don’t really care to front a band. I much prefer a support position. I also don’t really care to do a ton of gigging, especially if it involves much travel.

I basically would like to find guys who are a bit better than me, but that don’t ‘need’ to play for a living, and who are willing to play for the love of it with a few sporadic gigs here and there.

Basically I can’t commit to a working band, and I don’t want to play with people who aren’t good enough to gig. Unfortunately most people who are good enough to gig, are already doing so (or are planning to) and won’t be satisfied headlining a garage or my living room.

Sorry about the rambling, but I don’t see many ads for “Older, intermediate guitar player who doesn’t want to gig much seeks position as sideman in a pro band!” for a reason I’m sure.

Suggestions?
 

Flat6Driver

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Post up an ad with most of what you mention here. Be patient. People are looking at CL or the Facebook local groups. Be clear in what you want. Prepare to do more work than anyone else just to get folks in the door and keep them focused.

Most bands fold for lack of commonality in goals.

You'll get those dudes that want to gig 2x a month and get pissed when you tell them that wasn't the goal from the get go.

You're also 60 so you have a lifetime of people interactions to draw on. Leverage that.

PS. Where are you located?
 

JustABluesGuy

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Post up an ad with most of what you mention here. Be patient. People are looking at CL or the Facebook local groups. Be clear in what you want. Prepare to do more work than anyone else just to get folks in the door and keep them focused.

Most bands fold for lack of commonality in goals.

You'll get those dudes that want to gig 2x a month and get pissed when you tell them that wasn't the goal from the get go.

You're also 60 so you have a lifetime of people interactions to draw on. Leverage that.

PS. Where are you located?

I’m in the Houston area, which would seem easy since it’s so huge, but it’s also very spread out. It often seems like the promising ads are posted from the far northwest side and while that is just the other side of town, it can still be a 45 min to 1 hr drive each way.

I will drive, but damn! I’ve been a bit spoiled with people coming over to my place to play even after I got rid of the garage drum kit!

I think that is much of my problem. I don’t really have any goals other than being a better player than I was yesterday, and finding decent players that I can actually be friends with with to make some music.

I can’t see myself playing with people who aren’t my friends.
 

Flat6Driver

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I think that is much of my problem. I don’t really have any goals other than being a better player than I was yesterday, and finding decent players that I can actually be friends with with to make some music.

Post up an ad mentioning this. A guy sitting around bored on a conference call might see that and say "yes, this is the situation I'm looking for..."

I basically formed my blues jam/dad bad this way. Some days we're actually better than the prior week and sometimes we're at the bottom of the curve.
 

Texicaster

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Go to jams!

You didn't mention what style you play but bluegrass jams can evolve into acoustic country and you meet some great musicians! Less hard core will find all sorts of players. When I was in San Diego there was a great bluegrass club and the monthly meetings were well attended! Made lots of friends to jam with!

A good guitar shop should have some resources too.

I used to grab my acoustic and practice at a couple coffee houses way back when and no lack of people would start up about music!

Just get out there and they'l find ya!
 

boxocrap

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I’m a retired, early 60s guy who has always had friends, neighbors, co-workers or relatives to play with (literally from the day I started playing 20 years ago). Gradually they have all moved, died or just quit playing. I still get to play with some of them on occasion, but I want to play with others more often.

I’m working up a solo acoustic set to do some open mics, and maybe I will meet people that way, because I still l love ensemble playing as much of a pain as it can be to make it work. When it works it’s… well I’m sure you know!

Anyway, I have tried answering other people’s craiglist adds, and so far the ones that were of interest me have been very few and they have fallen through. Has anyone here posted an ad seeking players? Did you have good results?

I’m in an odd position to be seeking. I’m a decent, and pretty versatile player, but I am old, and don’t really care to front a band. I much prefer a support position. I also don’t really care to do a ton of gigging, especially if it involves much travel.

I basically would like to find guys who are a bit better than me, but that don’t ‘need’ to play for a living, and who are willing to play for the love of it with a few sporadic gigs here and there.

Basically I can’t commit to a working band, and I don’t want to play with people who aren’t good enough to gig. Unfortunately most people who are good enough to gig, are already doing so (or are planning to) and won’t be satisfied headlining a garage or my living room.

Sorry about the rambling, but I don’t see many ads for “Older, intermediate guitar player who doesn’t want to gig much seeks position as sideman in a pro band!” for a reason I’m sure.

Suggestions?
"who are willing to play for the love of it with a few sporadic gigs here and there"...i hear you..basically i'm kinda in the same boat..i only require reasonably decent players ..and creative. i want to do some stuff that isn't copy tunes.. i mean nothing wrong with that or those who do..but i did all that and want very much to explore some creative original approaches..play, mix and engineer material that we can come up with. there isn't any end game like touring.. nothing like that.. just all of it for the joy of doing it and maybe if the venue is right play it live a few times. forming a studio band is something i've wanted to do for many years too..bring in people who are writers singers etc and work out the tunes.
 

drmordo

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I used to do sound at an open mic. We had quite a few regulars. A broad cross section of skill, and all supportive of each other too. There were more than a few times like minded performers started doing things together. Some fantastic combos as a result.

That's interesting and surprising. I haven't been to an open mic in 30 years, but it was unimpressive back then. Maybe I should give them a chance again.
 

Nogoodnamesleft

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That's interesting and surprising. I haven't been to an open mic in 30 years, but it was unimpressive back then. Maybe I should give them a chance again.
It varies. The place I worked at was a coffee shop. Nobody was three sheets to the wind crooning through Wonderwall. A couple of notable examples: one night an elderly gentleman and his blind friend showed up with accordions and blew the lid off the place they were so good, doing songs with enough euphemisms in them to make a sailor blush. There was a couple of silver haired ladies who did duets of old folk songs and their harmonies were incredible. One moved away so the other joined up with a couple of the guitarists and formed an outstanding group. Being a coffee shop, it was all ages. Some outstandingly talented kids in their late teens would show up and play. Some of those young people went on to make a name for themselves locally.

Were they all good? No. But the ones who were trying had a good community of people around them. There were a couple of big egos of course. That comes with the territory. But the audience quickly figured out who was a blowhard.

As the sound person, the truly talented individual or the person struggling but doing their best were always a pleasure. It was the self proclaimed top guns who were a hassle.
 

Blue Bill

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I'm lucky enough to be in a Dad band, although. it's more like a Grandpa band, as we're all over 60. I was in a cover band, Moms and Dads, for a while too, but the C thing ended that.

I met the other guitar player through a mutual friend, we've been playing together for 6 years or so. We've gone through several drummers, bass players, and keyboards. We used to try to hit an open mic jam 2-3 times a month, that's the best way to meet a variety of Dads, interested in music. We got our bass player, who is awesome, from the open mic circuit. He plays out 3-5 nights a week, and still seems to like goofing around with us every Tuesday night.

Our "regular" drummer has been getting flakey over the past few months. I was at our local music store and was chatting with a man there, he had just moved here from NJ, and agreed to play with us the next Tuesday. He's frikken awesome. Turns out he's a pro, a teacher, and has done several national and international tours. Now he's a Dad. Last night was a total blast, we played for 4 hours solid.

I guess my point is, decide what situation you want, then keep your eyes and ears open. Go to open mics and introduce yourself to everyone and announce you are looking for a group. Remember, you are not there to be impressed by the acts, you're there to get hooked up with some enthusiastic music peeps. Advertise in CL, and on music store bulletin boards; also check them out often to see if there's people looking for a second guitar. I would think there's lots of Dads in Houston looking for someone just like you. Keep us posted, good luck!
 

JustABluesGuy

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"who are willing to play for the love of it with a few sporadic gigs here and there"...i hear you..basically i'm kinda in the same boat..i only require reasonably decent players ..and creative. i want to do some stuff that isn't copy tunes.. i mean nothing wrong with that or those who do..but i did all that and want very much to explore some creative original approaches..play, mix and engineer material that we can come up with. there isn't any end game like touring.. nothing like that.. just all of it for the joy of doing it and maybe if the venue is right play it live a few times. forming a studio band is something i've wanted to do for many years too..bring in people who are writers singers etc and work out the tunes.

Wow! Exactly that. Too bad you’re up in Canada and I’m in Texas. My cousin has a studio and has started doing some producing of his own stuff, others as well as some collaborations. We used to play and do dinner almost weekly.

He’s in Costa Rica now, so.
 

ce24

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Open mics can be jams.... Get 4 songs that you can sing...3 chord boogie or folk songs like girl of the north country... Its easy for others to follow... Go do it. You lead the song don't try to follow them they should follow you. You will meet others that way .... I did this exact same thing not looking for a band but the jam nite/open mic guy liked how easy I was too follow that I was asked to join the house band for the jam...I play once a week for 2 hours and all I have to bring is my guitar.
 

Peegoo

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Almost every time I've played an open mic, I got fished to join a band or some jam group.

Open mics are a fantastic way to meet other players in the wild.

It's a great way to audition 'em without auditioning 'em. It also gives you a pretty good indication of how they interact with other players, e.g., they really pay attention to other players and leave room for 'em (or not), diva behavior (or not), etc.
 

telemnemonics

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Hmmm, sounds more like Granddad band than Dad band?
Grandpa guitar player seeks ambulatory grandpa lead singer front man?
Correct me if I'm wrong!
 

JustABluesGuy

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