When we listen to music, watch tv, read - we are engaged in what I call controlled thought. Someone else is essentially controlling our thoughts. We’re engaged in their creation. Sure we bring ourselves to it, but we are following along in our mind. There are times when I want to engage in my own thinking - the mind wanders, goes in and out of thoughts prompted by all sorts of things. Maybe you - the OP - just need some of your own thought time.