some thoughts about "memory care" and loved ones

Discussion in 'Bad Dog Cafe' started by thunderbyrd, Aug 15, 2019.

  1. Stringbanger

    Stringbanger Telefied Ad Free Member

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    I say this with great sadness that my brother-in-law is in an Alzheimer’s facility. (He’s my wife’s sister’s husband). She held on as long as she could. The beatings were becoming more frequent. We would visit them and either she or he, or both of them often had black eyes. His biological functions became unmanageable. He doesn’t know anyone anymore, including his wife.

    He is only 62, and the symptoms began about 5 years ago. I want to go see him, but the fact that he won’t know me bothers me. On the other hand, it’s about him, not me. I decided I’m taking an acoustic guitar, because I remember he loved it when I used to play at his place. Maybe through music I can somehow connect with him.

    Yes T-Byrd, I can empathize with you.
     
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  2. Stubee

    Stubee Poster Extraordinaire Gold Supporter

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    Well said, Thunderbyrd.
     
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  3. Brad Pittiful

    Brad Pittiful Doctor of Teleocity Ad Free Member

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    a loved one can only do so much...there are educated and trained people that can do more and better things for dementia patients...but being your mom or dad we dont want them to go in those places as we think we have failed our parent...in my moms case she was getting deeper as each month passed 6 months before she pass...she fell broke her hip and the a few days later aspirated got pneumonia and she was gone...prolly good that happened so her suffering from recovering from a broken hip and dementia is over...but of course i didnt want to to go and was willing to care for her in any condition...which brings me back to my opening sentence...there is only so much an untrained loved one can do

    good luck with your mom...lots of us have dealt or are dealing with this kinda thing
     
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  4. verb boten

    verb boten Tele-Holic

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    Strange how families with a loving mother can think there will never be a need for a nursing home, there will always be a family member to help out if she stays home, but it reaches the point that it has to be someone with medical training and mom can never be left alone...she could be in a deadly situation in seconds. My mom made it to 89 before the time came, but we knew when it was time...sad, but NH care becomes a reality if a person lives long enough.
     
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