I don't check in here as much as I used to, but I know more than one of you have posted about similar challenges and decisions. I know I'm not alone, but still it helps to hear about others' experiences and how they're coping. I celebrated by 40th birthday last week. I had a few friends over the house, played some guitar, and had beer, beer, and more beer. More than I'd planned. Turns out, I got blackout drunk, because I'm missing parts of the evening that were revealed the following day in photos. Nothing embarrassing, but still alarming when you have visual evidence of a snapshot of time that is gone from memory. I've blacked out more than once this past year. Each time, I would go through my usual 'post-mortem' where I'd wrestle with the notion of just quitting drinking altogether. In the past I've made it a few weeks without booze but no more than that. My problem isn't a dependency but more an inability to stop after 1 or 2. The threat of dependency, though, always looms: that demon has lived with my family for generations, the cause of untold damage. As I get older, I feel like my body is telling me that this lifestyle choice is no longer compatible. What is more, I have a wife and three daughters who are depending on me. Merely surviving is not enough. I'm not making any grand declarations or resolutions, especially in light of the start of a new year where those things are often perceived as clichéd or disingenuous. I just know that I like the peaceful feeling I'm experiencing right now, and I'd like it to continue, and so I will strive to preserve it. Thanks for reading. .