bluesfordan
Friend of Leo's
You take that back, I said I play guitar, dammit
So you're a musician?
- Thread starter azureglo
- Start date
I think "touring" introduces the "New Kid in Town" effect. Everyone in the band got lucky. 80% of the time it was with the bartenders and waitresses at the club we were playing. I didn't meet my wife that way, but I met her at a bar I went to when I was in my home town. She came in for a bartender opening and couldn't see over the crowd, so I took her to my buddy who managed the bar. He hired her on the spot . . . she was pretty, and pretty bartenders bring in business. She became the best bartender in the place. That was 45 years ago. Gratuitous pic of my hot wife (after prepping the hull for new paint).
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I may have misread this line the first time.
I did not not start playing guitar to get girls, but I was not unaware of the possibilities (from a young age).
I think if it doesn’t work, you must be doing it wrong. Cause it sure went well for me.
trapdoor2
Friend of Leo's
Permanent amateur, usually a loner. It never occurred to me that my interest in music might be parlayed into social contacts. When I'm playing, I'm focused so tightly that I'm in a bubble. I hear and interact with the other instruments but everything else is out of focus.
Of course, I'm primarily a banjoist. Screaming, crying, teenage girls are a very common sight with me.
Thankfully, they're usually running away...
Miz Diane and I met thru work (35yrs ago). She has no musical interests other than listening to the radio in the car...and supporting my musical life. She actually came out to see me play once.
Of course, I'm primarily a banjoist. Screaming, crying, teenage girls are a very common sight with me.
Thankfully, they're usually running away...
Miz Diane and I met thru work (35yrs ago). She has no musical interests other than listening to the radio in the car...and supporting my musical life. She actually came out to see me play once.
Fiesta Red
Doctor of Teleocity
I call myself a musician, but I’m not, really.
I play guitar semi-ok.
I write a lot of songs.
I sing pretty decently.
I play harp/harmonica well.
I can pick out a few tunes on the piano.
I can’t read music, I don’t make a living off of it, and my plans are to just play as much as I can as long as I can.
So not really a musician.
———————
As far as getting girls:
Yeah, it does seem that I became more attractive when they see me on-stage rather than on-street…
But I don’t believe in casual hookups (no matter how pretty she is) so what good does that do me?
I remember when I was single, going into Fort Worth’s J&J’s Blues Bar to play an open mic night, and a couple of attractive women were sitting at the bar.
They didn’t just ignore me and my buddy—they dang near stiff-armed us as we were walking past. We weren’t even approaching them (we were both heading to the restroom), and they pointedly turned away from us.
After we played our three songs, they sent drinks over to us…they sidled up and started the purring, “Oh, y’all were good! Where you from? What’s your name?” crap…
I looked the one who’d “chosen” me dead in the eye and said, “Honey, you wouldn’t even condescend to look at me before I sang and shook my butt on-stage. I’m not any nicer, better-looking, better-dressed or richer than I was 30 minutes ago. If you weren’t interested before, I’m not interested now. Thanks for the beer!”
Similar situations happened multiple times before and since. I’m much nicer now than I was then, but my attitude is the same:
—When I was single, I wasn’t looking for a hookup and if you weren’t interested in me before you saw me play, I’m not interested in you.
—After I married, I DEFINITELY wasn’t looking for a hookup, and why would you be interested in a guy who broke a vow before God just because you like the way he sings or strums?
I was always leery of a woman who was attracted by something I had (a nice car, cool guitar, etc.) or by something interesting but ultimately recreational (playing guitar/harp/singing)…what if I wrecked the car, or couldn’t play or sing any more? Would you still be interested then?
If we are gonna go into a relationship, and you’re interested in me (and my musicality is a part of me), but you can’t just be interested in that *one* part…you gotta like me for me…because I can’t be walking around the house serenading you and playing a song 24/7 just to keep you interested.
My wife likes my music, but can live without it if something were to happen that I quit playing…she was one of the few girls who was interested in me and my goals and dreams and hopes, not just, “He has a fast car and a cool guitar and a leather jacket…”
That’s one of the reasons I latched on to her and haven’t let go, 30 years later.
I play guitar semi-ok.
I write a lot of songs.
I sing pretty decently.
I play harp/harmonica well.
I can pick out a few tunes on the piano.
I can’t read music, I don’t make a living off of it, and my plans are to just play as much as I can as long as I can.
So not really a musician.
———————
As far as getting girls:
Yeah, it does seem that I became more attractive when they see me on-stage rather than on-street…
But I don’t believe in casual hookups (no matter how pretty she is) so what good does that do me?
I remember when I was single, going into Fort Worth’s J&J’s Blues Bar to play an open mic night, and a couple of attractive women were sitting at the bar.
They didn’t just ignore me and my buddy—they dang near stiff-armed us as we were walking past. We weren’t even approaching them (we were both heading to the restroom), and they pointedly turned away from us.
After we played our three songs, they sent drinks over to us…they sidled up and started the purring, “Oh, y’all were good! Where you from? What’s your name?” crap…
I looked the one who’d “chosen” me dead in the eye and said, “Honey, you wouldn’t even condescend to look at me before I sang and shook my butt on-stage. I’m not any nicer, better-looking, better-dressed or richer than I was 30 minutes ago. If you weren’t interested before, I’m not interested now. Thanks for the beer!”
Similar situations happened multiple times before and since. I’m much nicer now than I was then, but my attitude is the same:
—When I was single, I wasn’t looking for a hookup and if you weren’t interested in me before you saw me play, I’m not interested in you.
—After I married, I DEFINITELY wasn’t looking for a hookup, and why would you be interested in a guy who broke a vow before God just because you like the way he sings or strums?
I was always leery of a woman who was attracted by something I had (a nice car, cool guitar, etc.) or by something interesting but ultimately recreational (playing guitar/harp/singing)…what if I wrecked the car, or couldn’t play or sing any more? Would you still be interested then?
If we are gonna go into a relationship, and you’re interested in me (and my musicality is a part of me), but you can’t just be interested in that *one* part…you gotta like me for me…because I can’t be walking around the house serenading you and playing a song 24/7 just to keep you interested.
My wife likes my music, but can live without it if something were to happen that I quit playing…she was one of the few girls who was interested in me and my goals and dreams and hopes, not just, “He has a fast car and a cool guitar and a leather jacket…”
That’s one of the reasons I latched on to her and haven’t let go, 30 years later.
Whatizitman
Poster Extraordinaire
Music has been my main avocation since I was a child, in some form or another. I consider myself a musician. I'm also a few other things, too. Humans don't fit into boxes. Metaphorically speaking, anyway.
Relationships that started off because of my music endeavors always ended poorly. In fact, the day I met my wife I was lying on the floor in my college apartment, playing and singing Disarm to a girl who would later marry one of my best friends. Awkward, but would have turned out far worse had my future wife not walked into my life at that point in my life. I'm sure of it. Fortunately, that was the last of those type of wooing activities.
Music is my main avocation. Relationships, OTOH, were not a strong point for me before meeting my wife. My wife and I have been together for almost 30 years now. It took me a few years to fully grasp what that means. But now our relationship is the envy of many of our friends and family. We share many musical interests, and she supports my music endeavors. But she's neither a musician nor a groupie. She's the practical one of us and far smarter, so I've learned to listen to her and follow her example in decisions. As a result, I get my musical itches well scratched without breaking the bank or causing rifts in family relationships.
More than once in our time together I seriously considered going "pro" musically in some way. Any moves toward that end never worked out. In the end I was happier (and our marriage and family far more stable) keeping music a hobby. I do know that my wife would have supported my decisions to continue pursuing music full time if I believed it could work out to our satisfaction. But something in me always felt that she was already putting up with enough just being with me, given my attentional quirks. She deserved far better than me trying to be a rock star. I can't speak for anyone else's marriage. But I know myself enough to know how things would have been if I had allowed music to be the main driver in my relationships.
I'm a musician. Else I wouldn't be posting about my life on this forum.
Relationships that started off because of my music endeavors always ended poorly. In fact, the day I met my wife I was lying on the floor in my college apartment, playing and singing Disarm to a girl who would later marry one of my best friends. Awkward, but would have turned out far worse had my future wife not walked into my life at that point in my life. I'm sure of it. Fortunately, that was the last of those type of wooing activities.
Music is my main avocation. Relationships, OTOH, were not a strong point for me before meeting my wife. My wife and I have been together for almost 30 years now. It took me a few years to fully grasp what that means. But now our relationship is the envy of many of our friends and family. We share many musical interests, and she supports my music endeavors. But she's neither a musician nor a groupie. She's the practical one of us and far smarter, so I've learned to listen to her and follow her example in decisions. As a result, I get my musical itches well scratched without breaking the bank or causing rifts in family relationships.
More than once in our time together I seriously considered going "pro" musically in some way. Any moves toward that end never worked out. In the end I was happier (and our marriage and family far more stable) keeping music a hobby. I do know that my wife would have supported my decisions to continue pursuing music full time if I believed it could work out to our satisfaction. But something in me always felt that she was already putting up with enough just being with me, given my attentional quirks. She deserved far better than me trying to be a rock star. I can't speak for anyone else's marriage. But I know myself enough to know how things would have been if I had allowed music to be the main driver in my relationships.
I'm a musician. Else I wouldn't be posting about my life on this forum.
JohnnyThul
Tele-Holic
I may be naive and as written above, I met my girl at one of my concert's, but I am amazed, how much making music seems to be related to meeting someone to spend...time with.
Whenever I play(ed) music, it was all about doing it good, trying to make the music as important to others, as it is to myself. I never thought of it as being something, to meet girls. I mean, that happened, but it was never intended and it didn't happen that often and hey, I am actually a singer
I don't remember having played a gig, where I was all about wanting to meet someone. Of course one is always wanting the admiration of the audience, and maybe I want that a tad more from the girls, then from the boys, but more in the sense of getting the 5 minutes of feeling special.
I also never encountered that people saw me with different eyes after a gig, not that I remember. I remember a few times being on a jam session and people tried to make fun out of me (for whatever reason) until I went on stage. And afterwards they tried to flatter me. That was really one of the worst things I ever experienced in making music, that people who obviously like music and do it themselves, try to make it a competition and then start to judge a book by its cover. I mean, music should be one of the things that equalizes social status or whatever above anything else in my opinion, by the share of the same devotion that makes it impossible for some people to not make music.
I don't consider myself being a musician, as that would mean I make a living out of it. But I am deeply devoted to music, still the love of my life and therefore in the best sense of the word an amateur.
Whenever I play(ed) music, it was all about doing it good, trying to make the music as important to others, as it is to myself. I never thought of it as being something, to meet girls. I mean, that happened, but it was never intended and it didn't happen that often and hey, I am actually a singer
I don't remember having played a gig, where I was all about wanting to meet someone. Of course one is always wanting the admiration of the audience, and maybe I want that a tad more from the girls, then from the boys, but more in the sense of getting the 5 minutes of feeling special.
I also never encountered that people saw me with different eyes after a gig, not that I remember. I remember a few times being on a jam session and people tried to make fun out of me (for whatever reason) until I went on stage. And afterwards they tried to flatter me. That was really one of the worst things I ever experienced in making music, that people who obviously like music and do it themselves, try to make it a competition and then start to judge a book by its cover. I mean, music should be one of the things that equalizes social status or whatever above anything else in my opinion, by the share of the same devotion that makes it impossible for some people to not make music.
I don't consider myself being a musician, as that would mean I make a living out of it. But I am deeply devoted to music, still the love of my life and therefore in the best sense of the word an amateur.
You deserve it!
Right up there with meeting someone is playing in front of your peers.
In high school, I was called into the Dean's office. The Dean, the Principal, and my PE coach were sitting there. Oh crap . . . I had skipped a month of PE (we were running track).
"Coach tells me you haven't been to PE in a while."
"No sir."
"What do you think we should do about that."
"I don't know sir."
"I understand you play in a band."
"Yes sir."
"You think you can get your band to play for the Sock Hop" for 50 bucks?"
"Yes sir" (but in my head I was saying, "Thank you Lord, thank you Lord, thank you Lord.")
We had played in a battle of the bands and at a teen club, but that was our first paid gig. Typical basketball gym with a big curtained stage at one end. I gained some street cred that day.
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I too no longer like to say musician because it's been somewhat sullied over the last twenty years or so. I've even heard disc spinners referred to as musicians. Lord help us. Guitar player yes. Keyboard player yes. Musician? I thought so until the term became debased by folks that considered electronic button pushing utensils a form of musicianship. "I'm great at using software models. I can record a whole song without picking up anything made of wood or whatever. I'm a musician". Stick your software where the sun don't shine. If you haven't worked for years on end learning how to to coax and create beautiful tones from something made from nature to produce the voices from on high you are not a musician. You might be excellent in your computer skills and I congratulate you for that but you need to come up with a new name for what you're doing. A musician doesn't work with zero's and one's. They pick up a piece made from the natural world, identify with it and join with it to produce a musical experience. Sweat. Calluses. Long nights. Trial and error. Small successes. Levels of achievement. Computers make it to easy to earn such a title. It's like confusing a farmer who's skills fed a village with a dude and his new Honda lawnmower cutting the perfect front lawn. One is meaningful for the masses. The other is a stupidly simplified rendition of a similar act attempting to gain the same level of importance.
A musician? Well I used to be a muso of sorts, since I was a freelancer guitarist getting paid for my noodling, way back in the day (albums, commercials, radio jingles, gigs etc.). But was I a hardened professional like, say, them classical geezers? Not even near, and here's a coupla reasons why:
1) I'm a dyed-in-the-wool rock'n'roll garden dwarf, and that's all I've ever wanted to be. So I don't really do classical or jazz, among other things.
2) I don't sight-read, not even near. I can muddle through if you put a gun to my head, within confines of said garden dwarfism.
3) My tongue is anything but brown, which many producers find disrespectful for some unfathomable reason.
4) I can be obstinate when the mood hits me.
And now? Well I'm playing again after a ten year break, and yeah, something seems to be gradually happening. Plus there's some studio work lined up for spring as well, so maybe I am a musician after all? Ye tell me...
1) I'm a dyed-in-the-wool rock'n'roll garden dwarf, and that's all I've ever wanted to be. So I don't really do classical or jazz, among other things.
2) I don't sight-read, not even near. I can muddle through if you put a gun to my head, within confines of said garden dwarfism.
3) My tongue is anything but brown, which many producers find disrespectful for some unfathomable reason.
4) I can be obstinate when the mood hits me.
And now? Well I'm playing again after a ten year break, and yeah, something seems to be gradually happening. Plus there's some studio work lined up for spring as well, so maybe I am a musician after all? Ye tell me...
Charlie Bernstein
Doctor of Teleocity
The John Goodman jazz character in Inside Llewyn Davis put it best: "A folksinger? I thought you said you're a musician!"
AquariumRock
Tele-Meister
Musician is a loaded term these days. Simultaneously reserved by humble people for those they perceive as more talented and appropriated by hacks to give themselves more credibility. I guess it means more if someone else calls you a musician, then?
I worked with a guy who owned a contracting business for years and he hesitated to say he was a carpenter when asked. “I’m not a carpenter, X is a carpenter, he does amazing work.” Whereas anyone not in the business wouldn’t thinking twice about using the term.
Anyway, I guess I call myself a songwriter in my head. That’s what I aspire to be and be thought of as.
I did it backwards, though. Married my wife and then told her I could play guitar. Did the whole relationship on hard mode. Though we met, started dating, and were married within a year, not sure how much faster busting out the old six string would have made things.
I worked with a guy who owned a contracting business for years and he hesitated to say he was a carpenter when asked. “I’m not a carpenter, X is a carpenter, he does amazing work.” Whereas anyone not in the business wouldn’t thinking twice about using the term.
Anyway, I guess I call myself a songwriter in my head. That’s what I aspire to be and be thought of as.
I did it backwards, though. Married my wife and then told her I could play guitar. Did the whole relationship on hard mode. Though we met, started dating, and were married within a year, not sure how much faster busting out the old six string would have made things.
Whatizitman
Poster Extraordinaire
bactrian666
Tele-Meister
Looks like a perfect set up to cover Genesis and Renaissance tunes!
