I had never thought about this. My wife is 9 years younger than I am, so I think she'll outlive me. She'll want to do something, even if I'm cremated.
Music should be a part of it.
Have to mull this over for a while..
"The Sisters of Mercy" by Leonard Cohen. It's a song about healing, and after death, life will go on. "Shelter" by Lone Justice, too. Also one of my own tunes called "Falling Leaves". It's based on one of my neighbors who needed a heart transplant. He was hooked up to a machine which was relatively new, while he waited for a heart. Things did not end well, and he died at age 39. He was a great guy.
Sadly, I have a family that, regardless what I ask, will probably do whatever they want... which will be pretty boring, traditional, and probably won't celebrate the way I lived at all. The people who I've been closest too and shared the most intimate and spectacular moments with will be the least likely to speak-- if they are invited at all. Someone extroverted and not deeply affected will make a cheesy speech, not sure who that will be. I doubt there will be much music aside from maybe a church standard or two. Probably lead by a priest I don't know with a voice louder than it is pleasant.