snubbed, slighted, rackets, backroom deals, cults of personalities.... the concept of fair...

nvilletele

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Some people are lucky, some people aren't.

Some people get a fair deal, an even break, etc. and some people get shafted, burned, and so on.

Whether intentional, or happenstance, well, stuff happens.

As for me, life hasn't been always fair, some people had me in their sights at times, but for the most part I've been reasonably lucky. Someone else wrote it best:

"Someone’s got it in for me, they’re planting stories in the press
Whoever it is I wish they’d cut it out but when they will I can only guess
They say I shot a man named Gray and took his wife to Italy
She inherited a million bucks and when she died it came to me
I can’t help it if I’m lucky"
 

nvilletele

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Whatever happens to one in life, holding grudges or harboring ill will or anger or whatever negative feelings of that sort will not hurt the person that hurt you. It will only hurt you.

Life ain't fair, but don't let that bother you. Do what you can and do what you must, but don't let it eat you away from the inside out. That will just bring you down, in more ways than one.
 
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Toto'sDad

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Coming from humble beginnings, I didn't expect much out of life for a long time, and I wasn't disappointed. Authority was my mortal enemy. Then one day, I don't know why, I came in out of the cold, and got on the OTHER side. Then life became a river that my canoe floated effortlessly down with hardly any effort at all. Life isn't fair, but it can favor you if you let it.

I had a friend back long ago when I was a drinker, we were drinking one night along about four o'clock in the morning, he looked at me and said, "TD, I always F up. You know, even I knew he was absolutely right. There was nothing that could be done, he was just that way. The really odd thing was, he was a leukemia survivor of many, many years. He was fifteen when he underwent some drastic treatments, he recovered, and did almost nothing with his life. Finally passing in his early seventies. Some things, you just can't understand.
 

Stanford Guitar

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Show your friend this clip about a guy who was ignored and overlooked. The guy they are talking about in this video is Jonny Kim -- Navy SEAL (Silver Star, Bronze Star), MD (Harvard), NASA Astronaut.

 

Mechanic

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I was an average kid I guess. Never ambitious but liked being with other kids of my ilk. Artists, shop, and for some reason math. I never excelled at anything but partying and reading. SF, fantasy, noir, westerns. I was tall but rather slender. Grade school I had some bullying as I’d not started the growth spurt. Jr high after a summer of surfing and hiking I came back to the same bullies but had at least a head higher than any one. Clown tried to pick a fight a fight and I managed to get hit a bit and found I could take it. When I got in close and laid him out the bullies found someone else. Until high school. A senior thought he’d try the sophomore. Same results. I did what was necessary but didn’t try to play anything even water polo which I was great at but just in gym class. I was swimming ever chance I got, surfing when it was warm enough.
My working career it was a mater of just doing the job asking for guidance, doing what was asked of means when the opportunity came along my work ethic carried me along. Yes mistakes were made and I owned up to them. Point being play the cards your delt, help the kid coming along, tip your waiter/ waitress. And don’t crying your beer, learn from your mistakes. You may be kind to a guy who will stab you in the back given the opportunity. Just don’t let it happen again.
Be kind. Yin and Yang.
 

Harry Styron

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Watching the documentary about Ella Fitzgerald, I learned about bandleader and drummer Chick Webb, who was barely four feet tall, suffered childhood tuberculosis which deformed his spine, yet assembled and led an orchestra in Harlem when he was just 20. He hired a shy teenage singer, Ella, and together they rose to fame. He played in pain, dying in his mid-30s, but having helped and protected Ella. She took over his orchestra for a few years until WWII.
 
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1955

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Show your friend this clip about a guy who was ignored and overlooked. The guy they are talking about in this video is Jonny Kim -- Navy SEAL (Silver Star, Bronze Star), MD (Harvard), NASA Astronaut.


I listened to that podcast a while back. Very inspiring story.
 

Skully

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I think "Life Isn't Fair" is covered in the first week of the Life 101 course.

This song by Wall of Voodoo (Mach II) lead singer Andy Prieboy is a parable about his experience with his musical "White Trash Wins Lotto," a satirical musical about Axl Rose's rise to stardom. It was bound for Broadway, but he played hardball with investors or something like that, and lost. As the song says, "Just because you fight a giant, it doesn't mean you get to win."

Today, Prieboy lives in Malibu not far from Bob Dylan with his longtime girlfriend Merrill Markoe (who recently became his wife), David Letterman's former girlfriend and the original head writer on "Late Night," so things worked out in a way.



In the song, his friends and collaborators abandon him and side with giant. Ironically, two of the cast members of the musical, a husband and wife, later became friends of my family through my children's school. The guy was the drummer in my dad band. And long story short, they eventually betrayed our family in a lame and petty way, then came back with apologies a few years later. But... no thank you.
 
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oregomike

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I'd also note that i just finished watching the new ozark and it has put me in a dark place. is everyone so dark, so conniving, so manipulative, so soulless, so bereft of any kind of sense being magnanimous?
Oh, man. Do a mental pallet cleanse and watch Ted Lasso. The show is brilliant, and wife and I are now like, "Why are we watching Ozark?"
 

oregomike

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I just don’t expect things to be fair, it can easily be an excuse to not try.

As far as Ozark I know what you mean, my wife loves the show but I don’t like any of the characters and secretly wouldn’t mind if they all died in the end.
Exactly. Was just thinking after watching the 2nd episode. They were characters we were rooting for, and now (with the exception of Charolette Byrde) I couldn't care less what happens to any of them. That's when a shows writing fails IMO.
 
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GGardner

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If I had to do it again, I would have played the sort of sports where if you win, you move up--like tennis, wrestling, track--and it's not left to the whim of the decision-makers. Because I'm a middle aged man whose had some modest success professionally and personally, and I'm still pissed off at perceived slights from my high school days. My wife once asked incredulously, "Can you believe that Tom Brady's supposedly still driven by the fact that he believes he was drafted too low?! At some point don't you get over that stuff?!"

"That's nuts," I said. But inside I thought, "Yeah, I completely get it. I was unfairly screwed by Coach D."
 
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John Backlund

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Fair? That's a kid's word.

Life's tough, get a helmet.

I'm all set!
IMG_20200806_092054284.jpg
 

Masmus

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Fundamentally, I believe that life is just the practice of finding the signal in the noise, but it sure does feel like some people are perfectly happy with noise. My moral and spiritual framework says that it's important to look for the signal.

This has been your moment of Ben.
I always thought of it very similar, order in the chaos.

As far as fairness in school. When I was very young my friend who lived next door and came from a very privileged family who's father was a very successful doctor died of a childhood illness. It put things in a clear perspective for me at the age of 5. I tried to never think of anything as fair/unfair. I never heard my friend's brothers and sisters ever talk about life being unfair either. I was uncoordinated until I was about 16 and was picked nearly last for sports but I never cared what other people felt about me. At least I knew my own limitations, I would have picked myself last also. At least for sports.
 




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