snubbed, slighted, rackets, backroom deals, cults of personalities.... the concept of fair...

Skully

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yeah, I don't know. I went to high school with a guy who got cut the first day of tryouts for football and baseball... in his tryout hitting he hit a ball in to the tennis courts (like 460' away) a bomb. He was big and fast, but he was weird. Goofy. Heck, he could make grades, but, cut. Coaches just didn't want him around.

He went to Cypress College and went out for football. His first year he was an all conference tight end, he played on the baseball team and started. He was a beast. He always had fast cars and got into some trouble and they did not allow him to play the second year.

Obviously, having the "right stuff" is about more than just being able to hit the ball, literally and figuratively. Was he merely "weird" or was he trouble?
 

Thoughtfree

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When I was in second grade, I thought that my being forced to play baseball was unfair. My reasoning at that time: I'm not planning to be a professional athlete, and I'm going to school to learn adult skills, so why am I wasting time with this stupid sport and its arbitrary rules? That red-faced adult screaming at me about catching a baseball - doesn't he know that Khrushchev is installing missiles in Cuba? So trivial, these adults...

Alienation became my norm. What kept me going was the knowledge that gym class would end after the 9th grade. I realized that there was no such thing as fairness, and that I'd have to get what I could get on my own. And that it was best to be kind to people, and to understand their problems if I could. That red-faced, screaming, overweight gym teacher, could be having a bad life.

Slightly OT I realize, but many of these interesting posts have to do with sports.
 

getbent

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Obviously, having the "right stuff" is about more than just being able to hit the ball, literally and figuratively. Was he merely "weird" or was he trouble?

He was just a free spirit the way Gronkowski is. He did fine in school, his home life was odd, his dad got killed in a car wreck and his sister (younger) was hit by a car and killed about a year later, people just thought they were spooky AND he liked to wear 'gangster clothes' and talk like he was black. ha ha, that sounds funny writing it, but he did. He was super close friends with a puerto rican kid and the coaches did not like those guys.
 

Cali Dude

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He was just a free spirit the way Gronkowski is. He did fine in school, his home life was odd, his dad got killed in a car wreck and his sister (younger) was hit by a car and killed about a year later, people just thought they were spooky AND he liked to wear 'gangster clothes' and talk like he was black. ha ha, that sounds funny writing it, but he did. He was super close friends with a puerto rican kid and the coaches did not like those guys.
I am sure that you meant nothing by it. However, I don't think all black people talk the same, and might take offense to your innocent statement. Just saying.
 

Electric Warrior

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I wrote a lot of that stuff off when I sat in right field watching the coach's son throwing the ball practically over the backstop, batter after batter, game after game. I must have been 9. I also had the coaches that would just yell and yell but never had any time to explain what exactly you were supposed to do. None of this bothers me now. In fact, it taught me a lot important lessons about how not to behave.

But I also had one coach who gave me genuine encouragement and praise for the things I did right. I still remember those words. I don't remember anything the red-faced blowhards had to say.
 

trev333

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During my school sporting days our teachers were the coaches...

Our A team footy coach was the Art teacher and was the only adult at the school who looked more like a hippy..they won lots of games....

Our woodwork teacher was our footy coach for the B team... he was laid back, knew the game... but we had to play it.

With sports you have to learn to play the game on the field with your team mates...
 

Jupiter

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1. I’m not sure there are many people who think life is fair, unless they grew up extremely privileged and came to the conclusion that their privilege was deserved.

2. I did a goofy little ethnographic thing in college where I asked people to tell me stories of their conflicts with authority figures, to get insight on how they envisioned their relationship to that power. There was a girl who saw it as a David and Goliath thing. She would get really pugnacious and march right up to people and call them out. She got into it with department heads and bosses and professors and jocks, and let’s just say she had a long list. Another guy who told his story saw it as more like a maze; if somebody blocked him, he’d move laterally. He’d often end up getting what he wanted and the person he had circumvented never even knew. A third guy saw it as a kind of game that he would win with audacity, kind of cops and robbers. I remember the story he told was about literally outrunning the cops on his motorbike when he was 13.

If you ask people to tell you their stories, you can learn a lot more about how they see things than if you ask em their philosophy.
 

meadwill

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I was bullied terribly when I was in elementary school and middle school and I was beat at home by my father pretty badly. If he wasn’t beating me he was screaming at me and criticizing every little thing. Completely emptied my soul of any confidence along with giving me huge anxiety issues and PTSD. Then he lost our house and my parents and sister moved in with family in another state. I stayed put as a homeless college student and dug myself out of that hole (not after slipping into some bad alcoholism first which I kicked on my own). I turned into this bitter hateful misanthropic person who trusted no one. I was so full of anger and sadness. And even though I harbored those toxic feelings and had those problems a beautiful insanely intelligent woman accepted my marriage proposal and birthed two amazing kids. I got sick of the toxic feelings and was tired of feeling awful day in and day out. I found an amazing therapist who has helped me change my perspective on everything. And that’s all that it is. Perspective. Positive vibes. Love. It’s all still there no matter how unfair you feel things are going. It’s out there, waiting for you to come around. Then when you realize you can control those thoughts with hard work and determination things change and fairness or unfairness isn’t a thing anymore. It’s just life. And it’s wonderful. Enjoy your time no matter how much time is left.

Peace.
 

getbent

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I have never thought life was fair. Enough tragedy early for me taught me that.
But, I'll be damned if I don't get furious when I see things and they are not fair.
I accept when things aren't fair for me, but when I see the inequities and the just brutally mean and awful things that happen to others... i go nuts.

I told the experience I had with the deranged dog at christmas, I could not accept that everyone had to be scared and worry or get bit by this dog, I didn't want to hurt the dog, but I could not accept that the situation could continue.

That is what i'm talking about. Are you outraged when people or animals get completely hosed by complete aholes? I am. I use the privileges I have to fix what I can... but, man, it isn't close to enough.
 

getbent

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I was bullied terribly when I was in elementary school and middle school and I was beat at home by my father pretty badly. If he wasn’t beating me he was screaming at me and criticizing every little thing. Completely emptied my soul of any confidence along with giving me huge anxiety issues and PTSD. Then he lost our house and my parents and sister moved in with family in another state. I stayed put as a homeless college student and dug myself out of that hole (not after slipping into some bad alcoholism first which I kicked on my own). I turned into this bitter hateful misanthropic person who trusted no one. I was so full of anger and sadness. And even though I harbored those toxic feelings and had those problems a beautiful insanely intelligent woman accepted my marriage proposal and birthed two amazing kids. I got sick of the toxic feelings and was tired of feeling awful day in and day out. I found an amazing therapist who has helped me change my perspective on everything. And that’s all that it is. Perspective. Positive vibes. Love. It’s all still there no matter how unfair you feel things are going. It’s out there, waiting for you to come around. Then when you realize you can control those thoughts with hard work and determination things change and fairness or unfairness isn’t a thing anymore. It’s just life. And it’s wonderful. Enjoy your time no matter how much time is left.

Peace.
congrats man! I love this. way to go!
 

1955

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This is a restatement of Sayer’s law, which is that academic politics are so vicious because there is so little at stake. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sayre's_law#History

I’ve never quite understood this idea. P
Coming from a long line of educators, I heard that line many times over growing up, yet it was only far into adulthood that my idealism conceded that this law was blotted over the wrinkled blueprints of power.
 

getbent

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When I was in second grade, I thought that my being forced to play baseball was unfair. My reasoning at that time: I'm not planning to be a professional athlete, and I'm going to school to learn adult skills, so why am I wasting time with this stupid sport and its arbitrary rules? That red-faced adult screaming at me about catching a baseball - doesn't he know that Khrushchev is installing missiles in Cuba? So trivial, these adults...

Alienation became my norm. What kept me going was the knowledge that gym class would end after the 9th grade. I realized that there was no such thing as fairness, and that I'd have to get what I could get on my own. And that it was best to be kind to people, and to understand their problems if I could. That red-faced, screaming, overweight gym teacher, could be having a bad life.

Slightly OT I realize, but many of these interesting posts have to do with sports.
I think this is exactly on topic. great post!
 

Archtops

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The idea that life is "fair" is nonsense. Having been born with congenital cataracts, I was legally blind by the age of 3. I was lucky that surgery was available by my 8th birthday. Still, 5 surgeries in 5 years left real scars, psychological and physical. Life is what you do with it. Some problems are too great to overcome. I will say that my early challenges lead me to my career in the psych field. I don't know any rational person who believes that fairness is real. Do your best with what you have.
It’s only real if one is able to employ it.
 




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